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Post by The Doctor on Mar 31, 2019 22:11:59 GMT
Every night since Wednesday a giant big fat fly has appeared at 11pm in the bedroom. It eludes my capture. I've even opened windows and doors for it but it won't leave. This causes fear because I worry it will get in the bed during the night or go down my throat.
Today I left the windows open all day to encourage it to stop being thick and take the easy escape route.
At 11pm it appeared again...but this time...WITH A PAL.
FFS.
How do I get rid of the bastard??
-Ralph
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Mar 31, 2019 22:15:29 GMT
Move away.
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Post by Pinwig on Mar 31, 2019 22:42:09 GMT
Flies follow light. Sit in the room with the light off and the door open and put the light on in the next room. They'll head out. Follow them, switch off the light, then nip back into the first room and shut the door quick.
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Apr 1, 2019 9:07:14 GMT
Curious. When Ralph opens his mouth is there a light inside?
Like the Cave of Wonders in Alladin?
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Post by Shockprowl on Apr 1, 2019 10:37:58 GMT
We must name Doc's flies.
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Post by The Doctor on Apr 1, 2019 12:05:08 GMT
Flies follow light. Sit in the room with the light off and the door open and put the light on in the next room. They'll head out. Follow them, switch off the light, then nip back into the first room and shut the door quick. Yup and then they returned this morning when I put the light on. How do I get rid of them? Why won't they fly out the open windows??? -Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Apr 1, 2019 15:13:34 GMT
I have been to The Shop and spent 3 pounds to aquire RAID: FLY AND WASP KILLER. I have looked at the guidance for use and will be using the FAST KNOCKDOWN approach.
THE WAR HAS BEGUN.
-Ralph
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Post by Shockprowl on Apr 1, 2019 16:04:41 GMT
NO! You can't kill Harmony and Serenity!!!
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Post by The Doctor on Apr 1, 2019 17:11:18 GMT
I came home and they were still there. They had not availed themselves of 9 hours of open windows.
FAST KNOCKDOWN deployed!
-Ralph
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Post by Andy Turnbull on Apr 1, 2019 17:45:56 GMT
We know it was deplyed but was it successful?
Andy
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Post by The Doctor on Apr 1, 2019 17:50:16 GMT
One confirmed fatality. Direct hit on #2 then lost sight of it.
-Ralph
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Apr 1, 2019 18:52:40 GMT
I came home and they were still there. They had not availed themselves of 9 hours of open windows. FAST KNOCKDOWN deployed! -Ralph You went out and left your ground floor windows open for nine hours??
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Post by The Doctor on Apr 1, 2019 19:54:11 GMT
Yes.
-Ralph
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Post by Pinwig on Apr 1, 2019 20:43:20 GMT
Good lord.
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Post by Shockprowl on Apr 1, 2019 21:27:14 GMT
FAST KNOCKDOWN deployed! -Ralph OH GOD NO!!! HARMONY! SERENITY!
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Post by The Doctor on Apr 1, 2019 21:33:31 GMT
No sign of the second one.
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Apr 1, 2019 21:52:03 GMT
!&+,@*@&
Just before 11pm once again a bloody giant fly!
More RAID has been deployed!!!
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Apr 1, 2019 21:53:32 GMT
Direct hit. It dropped like a stone.
THEY ARE THE FLIES AND I AM THE PAPER!!!
-Ralph
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Post by blueshift on Apr 1, 2019 22:20:51 GMT
Direct hit. It dropped like a stone. THEY ARE THE FLIES AND I AM THE PAPER!!! -Ralph That's sheer murder!
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Apr 1, 2019 22:22:52 GMT
Stop reading those Vegan posters, Blue.
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Post by Shockprowl on Apr 2, 2019 6:28:38 GMT
Direct hit. It dropped like a stone. THEY ARE THE FLIES AND I AM THE PAPER!!! -Ralph OH GOD THE HUMANITY!!!Harmony, Serenity... The Hub will remember you, noble creatures...
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Post by The Doctor on Apr 2, 2019 6:58:02 GMT
Direct hit. It dropped like a stone. THEY ARE THE FLIES AND I AM THE PAPER!!! -Ralph That's sheer murder! I gave them 6 days of open windows to fly free. -Ralph
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Apr 2, 2019 7:00:18 GMT
Six days in which the good criminals of Edinburgh spared your flat!
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Post by Shockprowl on Apr 2, 2019 9:27:59 GMT
Six days in which the good criminals of Edinburgh spared your flat! BECAUSE HARMONY AND SERENITY FOUGHT THEM OFF!
THEY SAVED THE DOCTOR'S FLAT!!!
And look how he repays them...!
WITH DEATH!!!!
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Post by The Doctor on Apr 2, 2019 11:19:56 GMT
I gave them a chance. They did not take it.
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Apr 2, 2019 20:40:00 GMT
ONE OF THEM SURVIVED!!!
It attacked me in the bedroom as I was listening to a super-cool Doctor Who vinyl!
A DIRECT HIT WITH 'RAID' WAS ADMINISTERED! Down it went!
-Ralph
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Post by blueshift on Apr 2, 2019 20:40:34 GMT
ONE OF THEM SURVIVED!!! It attacked me in the bedroom as I was listening to a super-cool Doctor Who vinyl! A DIRECT HIT WITH 'RAID' WAS ADMINISTERED! Down it went! -Ralph MURDER!!
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Apr 2, 2019 20:43:15 GMT
It may have been the same near-invincible super fly with regenerative capabilities.
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Post by The Doctor on Apr 2, 2019 20:49:38 GMT
It returned! Another direct hit then it changed direction and came right at me! It won't die!!!
-Ralph
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Post by Shockprowl on Apr 2, 2019 21:12:11 GMT
It returned! Another direct hit then it changed direction and came right at me! It won't die!!! -Ralph Serenity seeks revenge for the cruel murder of Harmony!!!
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