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Post by blueshift on Sept 6, 2019 17:31:32 GMT
You wake up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You roll over to slam your hand on the alarm clock but you hit rocks instead. With a start, you get up - you realise you're not in your comfy bedroom but instead in a post apocalyptic wasteland!
Oh no, you've overslept by 40,000 years!
You are standing on a windswept plain covered in rocks and little else. Thunder rolls in the skies. To the north, you see a terrifying forest. To the west, you see the spires and domes of a steel city. To the south you see a desert. To the east you see sunshine and a pleasant field.
Quickly you check the PIE CHART METER affixed to your arm. It tells you that HASBRO UNICRON is nearly funded! Finally!! Using the PIE CHART KNOWLEDGE you discover that it is now at 7999/8000 subscribers. But there is a flashing warning - when the BLOOD MOON RISES, then the pre-order period will be over, and Unicron will be cancelled if it doesn't reach 8000!
YOU MUST ACCEPT THE QUEST! GET 600 GOLD AND ORDER UNICRON BEFORE THE BLOOD MOON RISES!
Inventory: PIE CHART METER
Commands?
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Post by The Doctor on Sept 6, 2019 19:49:19 GMT
Go West.
-Ralph
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Stomski
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!! But don't worry. It won't happen again.
Posts: 5,934
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Post by Stomski on Sept 6, 2019 20:50:49 GMT
Look at pants.
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Post by Shockprowl on Sept 6, 2019 20:54:16 GMT
Yeah, are we naked...?
I bet we're naked.
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Post by Pinwig on Sept 6, 2019 21:20:43 GMT
I can't help but feel there's going to be an element of revenge here...
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Post by Shockprowl on Sept 6, 2019 21:42:10 GMT
Naked revenge.
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Post by Pinwig on Sept 6, 2019 22:25:28 GMT
We should windmill in unison.
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Post by blueshift on Sept 7, 2019 5:19:40 GMT
You look for your pants in vain but cannot see them! "Go West young man," that's what they say! You travel west across the painful rocky terrain. Finally you reach the walls of the impressive city. CITY GATESYou stand in front of mighty steel walls, which rise up a hundred feet high to protect the city within. Over the top you can see glass domes and a massive steel spire that punches into the sky. A mighty gate is guarded by two GUARDS in power armour. Outside is a steady stream of people who are entering the city gates one by one. The guards seem to be checking for something. Above the guards is a sign: "NO DEGENERATES" Unlocked Directions: <E> East - Apocalyptic plains
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Post by Shockprowl on Sept 7, 2019 7:17:24 GMT
Ok. Survival protocols, gentlemen. We need clothes. Pants. Pants! We should Rob one of the people in line. Lure him behind some rocks or something.
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Post by Benn on Sept 7, 2019 7:44:43 GMT
No, get a guards clothes! They have higher security clearance. They have armour, but no word of weapons. Can we check for weapons?
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Post by blueshift on Sept 7, 2019 8:06:22 GMT
No, get a guards clothes! They have higher security clearance. They have armour, but no word of weapons. Can we check for weapons? One of the guards has a gigantic chainsaw-sword. The other one has a gigantic laser gun. They look angry as they process the queue.
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Post by The Doctor on Sept 7, 2019 8:14:56 GMT
Ask the guards how their day has been.
-Ralph
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Post by blueshift on Sept 7, 2019 9:36:56 GMT
Ask the guards how their day has been. -Ralph "HEY!" you shout to the guards. "HOW HAS YOUR DAY BEEN?" There is a commotion at the front of the queue as the man the guards were inspecting suddenly turns tail and runs away. "He's a heretic! Working for the Enemy!" one of the guards shouts, lunging forwards and using his chainsaw sword to slice the man in half, crotch to head. He wags a finger at the corpse. "Now, don't do that again!" He looks over to you and gives a thumbs up. "Day's pretty sweet, thanks! We're busy ensuring no degenerates enter our Master's glorious city! But no queue-jumping, and make sure you have your special token and the answer to the three questions that prove you're not a heretic or you'll end up like this silly lad!"
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Post by Shockprowl on Sept 7, 2019 9:55:52 GMT
He didn't seem bothered by our nakedness.
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Post by The Doctor on Sept 7, 2019 12:02:26 GMT
Give guard a special token.
-Ralph
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Stomski
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!! But don't worry. It won't happen again.
Posts: 5,934
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Post by Stomski on Sept 7, 2019 14:08:19 GMT
Give thumbs up in return and ask which question the guy got wrong and what answer he gave.
Then punch wall.
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Post by Pinwig on Sept 7, 2019 14:17:02 GMT
If there's any sense here I would suggest looking at the other locations to see if we can find the token and any inside info on what the questions will be.
However this is Blueshift in control, so there's also a chance the questions will be either related to the Hub itself, or testing us on matters outside the game itself.
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Post by Pinwig on Sept 7, 2019 14:17:53 GMT
That made me laugh so hard I nearly choked.
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Post by blueshift on Sept 7, 2019 15:31:51 GMT
Give guard a special token. -Ralph Error, not in inventory! Give thumbs up in return and ask which question the guy got wrong and what answer he gave. The guards wave someone else through the gates as you shout your question. "Haha, the flower question, right? What a fool!" the guard laughs. "Now get in line or get out before I cut your face off!" You punch the wall. The wall is made out of concrete-diamond-steel. Agonising pain sears through your hand. You have taken 1 damage Health: 59/60
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Post by Shockprowl on Sept 7, 2019 15:35:08 GMT
Ummmm, ok try to get close enough to hear all the questions and answers.
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Post by blueshift on Sept 7, 2019 16:12:32 GMT
Ummmm, ok try to get close enough to hear all the questions and answers. You attempt to sneak closer but the guards are using a CONE OF SILENCE to conduct their questions. Which makes sense, given that everyone is in a queue and would be able to see/hear otherwise.
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Post by The Doctor on Sept 7, 2019 16:14:24 GMT
Ask people in the queue if they know about Haslab Unicron.
-Ralph
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Post by blueshift on Sept 7, 2019 16:34:06 GMT
Ask people in the queue if they know about Haslab Unicron. -Ralph There are five people in the queue, back to front: A wizard A giant alien from Alien A princess A ghost pirate A zombie There is a fish man who is currently talking to the guards and so is unavailable Who do you talk to and what do you say??
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Stomski
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!! But don't worry. It won't happen again.
Posts: 5,934
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Post by Stomski on Sept 7, 2019 16:58:00 GMT
Take CONE OF SILENCE.
Then PUNCH WALL.
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Post by Shockprowl on Sept 7, 2019 17:03:29 GMT
Take CONE OF SILENCE. Then PUNCH WALL. HHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! Oh my Godfathers! The only thing better than Stomski-beat designing one of these adventure things is him actually taking part in one!
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Post by Pinwig on Sept 7, 2019 17:54:34 GMT
There are months of pain and frustration being vented here :)
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Post by Pinwig on Sept 7, 2019 17:56:58 GMT
SAY to people in queue, "I offer a unique answer testing service, tell me your answers to the guards' questions and I'll tell you if they're right. You, Mr Wizard, what are you going to say?"
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Post by blueshift on Sept 7, 2019 19:21:48 GMT
SAY to people in queue, "I offer a unique answer testing service, tell me your answers to the guards' questions and I'll tell you if they're right. You, Mr Wizard, what are you going to say?" The wizard turns to you, rubbing his mighty staff. "Forsooth my naked young friend. None know what riddles the guards will ask, but they will test your very soul! For the price of five gold coins I will explain to you my philosophy of life in a ten hour lecture!"
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Post by The Doctor on Sept 7, 2019 19:23:25 GMT
Grab cone of silence and sell it in the market. Use the proceeds to give the wizard five gold coins.
-Ralph
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Post by blueshift on Sept 7, 2019 19:29:08 GMT
Grab cone of silence and sell it in the market. Use the proceeds to give the wizard five gold coins. -Ralph Okay, that's two people who want to grab the cone. You run up to the guards at the gate, leaping for the cone of silence, which is a device affixed to the top of the gate and unremovable. You snatch at it but to no avail. The first guard shouts at you, revving his chainsaw sword and swiftly cutting off your left arm. Blood spurts everywhere as you scream like a baby. "I warned you!" he admonishes, kicking you away as you sprawl in the dust. HEALTH 30/60
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