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Post by Shockprowl on Jan 19, 2020 9:38:16 GMT
After you've had a poo, do you pass judgement on it? Or make a remark about it to yourself? Even if it's in your own internal monologue? I mean, we all turn round and have a look, but do we pass a comment after passing a stool?
Something like-
"Better warn the Coast Guard about this one."
or
"That one's got a map of the Andes."
or
"Well, that came out with its boots on."
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Post by Pinwig on Jan 19, 2020 9:39:41 GMT
No.
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Jan 19, 2020 9:57:43 GMT
As someone who has a medical condition resulting in fluctuating of stool status I often note changes.
I don't brag about it to anyone though.
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Post by The Doctor on Jan 19, 2020 10:09:26 GMT
Yes.
-Ralph
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Post by Pinwig on Jan 19, 2020 10:56:30 GMT
Of Course.
Ralph's autobiography will be called 'Conversations with my poo'
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Post by Philip Ayres on Jan 19, 2020 11:23:02 GMT
Phil has a spreadsheet detailing his poo.
OK it's for medical reasons to sort out what food does what but.....
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Post by Shockprowl on Jan 19, 2020 11:24:08 GMT
Phil has a spreadsheet detailing his poo. OK it's for medical reasons to sort out what food does what but..... PHASE TWO.
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Post by Pinwig on Jan 19, 2020 12:26:49 GMT
That is extreme spreadsheeting.
I often hear 'I bet you've got a spreadsheet for that' directed my way at work, and I usually do, but not... not for that.
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Post by Philip Ayres on Jan 19, 2020 12:50:07 GMT
It is necessary. I need to establish which foods are causing this and with a digestive transit time of 2-3 days I just cannot remember. One column for each meal, a bonus column for the evening when I may have something else, a column for poo and a column for stomach pain.
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Post by Pinwig on Jan 19, 2020 13:13:24 GMT
Phil truly is the Excel King.
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Post by Philip Ayres on Jan 19, 2020 13:22:10 GMT
it made my fortune in the 90s/00s, and continues to serve me well now
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Post by Grand Moff Muffin on Jan 19, 2020 13:40:39 GMT
I mean, we all turn round and have a look Not normally, I don't. Martin
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Post by The Doctor on Jan 19, 2020 13:45:08 GMT
Of Course. Ralph's autobiography will be called 'Conversations with my poo' I'm on The Throne right now, Pinwig. -Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Jan 19, 2020 13:45:57 GMT
I mean, we all turn round and have a look Not normally, I don't. Martin But how do you know if you have a clean botty? -Ralph
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Post by Grand Moff Muffin on Jan 19, 2020 13:48:33 GMT
But how do you know if you have a clean botty? The poo is obscured by loo paper by that point. And sometimes may already have been despatched by a courtesy flush. Martin
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Post by Shockprowl on Jan 19, 2020 13:48:47 GMT
I mean, we all turn round and have a look Not normally, I don't. Martin What? You must do, surely, just a quick glance, to see what you've done. Will that be it for the day? Have I had a good clear out? Will I need a quick chase poo? Consistency?! SIZE?!
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Post by Pinwig on Jan 19, 2020 14:35:45 GMT
Do not get drawn into this, Martin! That's what they want!
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Post by Shockprowl on Jan 19, 2020 14:41:39 GMT
Do not get drawn into this, Martin! That's what they want! Quiet, you! So MARTIN, not even... Not even a glance? A glance and a nod of acknowledgment?
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Post by Grand Moff Muffin on Jan 19, 2020 14:48:42 GMT
Do not get drawn into this, Martin! That's what they want! It's always worth promoting the paragon of civilisation that is the courtesy flush. Martin
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Jan 19, 2020 15:13:31 GMT
But a stool check is a health check!
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Post by blueshift on Jan 19, 2020 16:04:14 GMT
Only if it's a particularly impressive one Phil doesn't like us sharing photos of them on the forum anymore though RIP 2019 'POO OF THE YEAR' thread
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Post by Grand Moff Muffin on Jan 19, 2020 16:13:02 GMT
You mean you haven't spotted the Phil's Spare Poo thread???
Martin
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Post by Pinwig on Jan 19, 2020 17:05:41 GMT
GOOD GOD.
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Post by The Doctor on Jan 19, 2020 17:13:17 GMT
But a stool check is a health check! Indeed. It is good health to check one's own stools. -Ralph
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Post by Shockprowl on Jan 19, 2020 19:37:31 GMT
You mean you haven't spotted the Phil's Spare Poo thread??? Martin AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! ....He'd only lock it so we can't post poo in it.
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Post by Grand Moff Muffin on Jan 19, 2020 19:59:13 GMT
Martin
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Post by The Doctor on Jan 20, 2020 16:01:43 GMT
The laxative is kicking in, but I am on a tram!!! Shit!!!
-Ralph
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Post by Shockprowl on Jan 20, 2020 21:25:47 GMT
'Shit' being the operative word. Hope you got on ok.
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Post by Bogatan on Jan 20, 2020 21:43:35 GMT
As a rule of thumb my comments usually run along the lines of "I guess I ate too many blueberries"
Though one time it did look like giant spider was climbing out of the bowl resulting in an exclamation or two.
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Post by Shockprowl on Jan 20, 2020 21:59:29 GMT
Ahh, The Doctor's greatest fear- THE BUMHOLE SPIDER.
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