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Post by Andy Turnbull on May 10, 2016 22:39:04 GMT
NO.
Andy
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Post by Shockprowl on May 10, 2016 23:16:31 GMT
Top Cat Begins.... Like... Like Batman Begins...?
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Post by blueshift on May 11, 2016 5:27:13 GMT
Top Cat Begins.... Like... Like Batman Begins...? Liam Neeson is Officer Dibble
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Post by The Doctor on May 11, 2016 9:56:29 GMT
Top Cat Begins.... Like... Like Batman Begins...? Yep. Go look it up. Out on May 27th. -Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on May 11, 2016 9:58:07 GMT
I don't believe in coincidence. It was worth the 43-minute delay due to the technical fault with the projector starting the film 'Sing Street' to be given the complementary free cinema ticket Andu can use for TCB. Worth every minute. -Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on May 11, 2016 9:58:58 GMT
I mopped-up your booze-induced river of pink goo. This is your penance. Man up. -Ralph
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Post by Shockprowl on May 11, 2016 12:36:03 GMT
Top Cat Begins.... Like... Like Batman Begins...? Yep. Go look it up. Out on May 27th. -Ralph Errrrrr, sadly, I'm moving to a part of the world that has no cinema, television, or computer access of any kind. So, looks like I'll be missing out! Oh well.
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Post by Shockprowl on May 11, 2016 12:36:40 GMT
I mopped-up your booze-induced river of pink goo. This is your penance. Man up. -Ralph Pink goo?
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Post by The Doctor on May 11, 2016 13:11:17 GMT
Energon pink. It was everywhere. Literally rivers of it. Incredible.
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on May 11, 2016 13:11:56 GMT
Yep. Go look it up. Out on May 27th. -Ralph Errrrrr, sadly, I'm moving to a part of the world that has no cinema, television, or computer access of any kind. So, looks like I'll be missing out! Oh well. Look up the trailer... -Ralph
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Post by Shockprowl on May 11, 2016 13:38:46 GMT
Energon pink. It was everywhere. Literally rivers of it. Incredible. -Ralph Dear God. From, err, from which part of his body was it coming out of?
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Post by The Doctor on May 11, 2016 18:25:30 GMT
It became hard to quantify.
-Ralph
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Post by Shockprowl on May 11, 2016 20:25:06 GMT
Dear God.
Erm, are you ok, Doc'? That must have been a horrible thing to deal with.
What did you use to clean it up with?
And just why -in the name of sweet Jesus- was the goo.... PINK?!?!
PINK!!!!!!
HOW WAS IT PIIIIINNKK?!?!?!!!!!"
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Post by blueshift on May 11, 2016 20:26:58 GMT
Dear God. Erm, are you ok, Doc'? That must have been a horrible thing to deal with. What did you use to clean it up with? And just why -in the name of sweet Jesus- was the goo.... PINK?!?! PINK!!!!!! HOW WAS IT PIIIIINNKK?!?!?!!!!!" Because Andy is Vigo
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Post by Shockprowl on May 11, 2016 20:33:53 GMT
VIGGO MORTENSEN?!?!?!?!?!!!!!
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Post by Philip Ayres on May 11, 2016 21:35:13 GMT
A concerned forum member thought that the posts relating to Andu seeing Top Cat and Why belonged in their own thread.
Let it not be said that the God Mod team don't take suggestions on board!
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Post by The Doctor on May 12, 2016 12:28:41 GMT
Fine editing work from Phil.
-Ralph
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Post by Philip Ayres on May 12, 2016 12:31:46 GMT
Thank you.
Andu did invite you to fill in the gaps in his story so I thought it only right that you, and others present, interjected at an appropriate place.
Did you par chance have anything Sweet And Sour in the Chinese? That could explain the pink. There again looking at those photos of the Strawberry Daiquiris.....
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Post by Benn on May 12, 2016 13:09:05 GMT
And the shots. They can come in all manner of colours.
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Post by The Doctor on May 12, 2016 16:47:29 GMT
I had lemon chicken and was fine.
-Ralph
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Post by Philip Ayres on May 12, 2016 16:57:14 GMT
I don't think we're casting aspersions on the quality of the food, merely it happened to be in Andu's stomach above the dodgy sandwich which needed to come out!
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Post by Bogatan on May 12, 2016 19:42:13 GMT
The Chinese was the day before. I'm confident the 20-30 or more shots he consumed were responsible.
I had half as many and my spit was thick and glow in the dark pink for the night and the next morning.
In a related story while attempting to prevent scenes like those in the Ibis hotel room, drunk me acquired a bottle of water on my way back to the hostel only to discover I had bought Sparkling water. The despair on that discovery will stay with me.
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Post by blueshift on May 12, 2016 19:43:58 GMT
I am baffled by how you guys had so many shots! You were on shots #2 when I left!
And speaking of movie challenges, how goes GI Joe the Animated Movie?
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Post by Bogatan on May 12, 2016 19:54:53 GMT
It escalated fast.
12 shots arrived on a tray but there were only 6 of us left drinking. Shortly after another tray arrived again with 12 shots. Why? I dont know. On it went seemingly faster and faster until Andy himself felt shame as he returned to the bar for more. He returned with tales of bar people with looks of fear and disgust. Surely an achievement in a city centre Wetherspoons.
Then someone (I blame Graham) realised we were approaching 113 shots and that was the neew goal.
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Post by The Doctor on May 12, 2016 20:25:38 GMT
It is now time to reveal What Happened To Andu.
So there we all were in the pub having a fun time on the Saturday. Mid-afternoon, I was part-way through my second pint when sinus related pain which had been bothering me for three weeks previously had one last excruciating stab right through my head. Thus, I gave myself some painkillers and put an end to drinking booze for the day. I even had to abandon the rest of that pint due to taking the tablets. This would turn out to be fortuitus...but for whom?
Andu powered on through his evening, at one point being so jolly that he decided he was Doctor Doom (which was unusual). Many rounds of shots were taken while I looked on with my lemonade. I foolishly pointed out that the team were close to reaching #113 shots between them. This became a challenge, with many excitable chats about James Roberts and his fine #113 facts of fun. Within moments of shot #113, Andu began to sway slowly in his seat. He looked pale. The eyes began to droop. Whereas moments before he had been shouting many thrilling lines from the Transformers TV story 'The Rebirth' for all the pub to enjoy (and perhaps some passing travellers 13 miles away and slightly to the East), he was now silent. He rose unsteadily to his feet, his centre of gravity apparently in dire peril, and declared he was off to the hotel room to sleep. He had not made it to midnight. I felt he was able to make it back to the hotel as it was just around the corner. Surely nothing bad could happen?
The remaining TMUK-ers enjoyed convivial conversation until naturally breaking up for the night. I returned to The Hotel Room. Andu was asleep on his bed, like a baby but bigger. The television was on. He appeared peaceful. Sometimes his eyes would flutter open so I made him a nice cup of tea. As I am a good chum, I stayed up for about half an hour in case of booze related illness from him, channel hopping through nothing of much interest. It looked safe to turn in for the night. Beside his bed was his new pile of Marvel Transformers UK comics retrieved from a comics mart scant hours previously. I thought that if there was chunder he would spew upon them from where they were in relation to his head, so I moved them far away from him to the table along the wall for their own safety.
I turned off the light and got in to my bed. Within scant seconds of lying down, Andu suddenly arose in the darkness like Lazarus and began a fast chicken-walk across the room while making strange noodling noises. Instead of heading for the loo, he was making a direct bead for the Marvel UK TF comics! Concerned for my good friend's welfare, I dashed up like a puma and shoved the comics out of the way mere micro-seconds before an enormous river of pink goo erupted from Andu, accompanied by the howl of an exploding volcano. The pink goo poured over the side of the table like a dashing greyhound, requiring quick thinking to move the comics yet again. "YEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" yelled Andu.
Then, suddenly, he turned to his right and fired a quick volley of pink goo from his maw at the pile of exciting Transformers toys lying there. It was a bit like when Godzilla uses his fire breath but crap. With the speed of a penguin sensing fish, I dived to my right and pushed him back, diverting the eruption just in time! My nimble reflexes scattered the toys out of the way while he went back to trying to cover the comics again with the contents of whatever was left in his deluded system. I wiped pink goo from the packet containing his two highly rare Botcon Ratchet kits. Only later would we realise that in doing this, one of the Ratchet heads must have been been lost instantly in the pink slime. Oh the humanity!
I urged Andu to repair to the bathroom. He heeded my warning, yelled: "YEEEEEEEEAAAARRRRRRRGH UUGGGGGGGGGGGGH" and promptly exploded within the little room. It looked just like The Red Weed in 'The War of the World' but slightly camper. While he clung on to the toilet like it was the last pint in a pub and yet somehow managing to be sick everywhere near and round the bowl without hitting it much, I started to mop up the dingy detritus of despair in the main room. My mood did, admittedly, darken slightly. Surely, however, it was all over now?
But Andu had not yet fired his final volley.
"RRRAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE RRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" he stated, not unboldy. His strange fascination with returning to the table returned with a vengeance as (impossibly) more pink lava erupted from his venerable Vesuvius. Dashing with the panache of a goat who has sensed butter, I once more swept toys and comics out of his way, pausing only to wipe pink stuff from my spectacles case and to kick my trainers out the way just in time. But it was not over yet.
Escape to danger!
Yes, Andu was once more back in the loo. Some men paint the town red past the hours of midnight when out for a fun evening. Some other men paint toilets pink instead...and not even an outdoor one in an interesting area of town at that! "HUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!", exclaimed the Scots stereotype. But he was not Ben Hur.
At last, the shuffling terror was over. Feebly, like a blind man playing Frogger in the real world, he shuffled over to the many rivulets and channels of undigested terror that covered what was supposed to be our temporary abode. Mistaking small thin pieces of toilet paper for vast swathes of cloths and detergents with which to clean this affair, he looked like a broken man. The kind of man who goes to the shop for a Cornetto but finds there are none in stock. Like a giant amongst the pygmies of goodness, I assisted the exciting clean-up operation.
After a few moments, some dim awareness seemed to reach Anduland. Somewhere inside his damaged mind, the vaguest hint of a sunset appeared over a foggy moor. "At least...I didn't get my trousers," he opined like a rubbish version of Hamlet. With great solemnity, I pointed to the floor where the aforementioned trousers would never run free in the wild ever again. Like a geriatric songbird, they would never sing again. No, Monsignor, no. Those trousers won't hunt. The weakest, most forlorn, most despairing sound that was ever heard by the creature known as Man came from the lips of Andu along with a very, very quiet: "Fuck."
It was over.
-Ralph
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Post by blueshift on May 12, 2016 20:30:10 GMT
Bravo Ralph, that was magical!
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Post by Fortmax2020 on May 12, 2016 21:24:22 GMT
That was some superb storytelling. So vivid, so real, so... I feel ill.
Did our gentle titan retire to bed soon after? Or did he beg forgiveness first? How long were you awake for in fear after??
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Post by Fortmax2020 on May 12, 2016 21:39:43 GMT
And was this all true? *wide eyed wonder*
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Post by blueshift on May 12, 2016 21:53:38 GMT
And was this all true? *wide eyed wonder* We also had a complete set of Galactica 1980 trading cards!
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Post by Benn on May 12, 2016 21:56:24 GMT
'Had'
Do they exist no more?
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