8 - Marvel UK Mash-Up, War of the Skull, Legacy and Sky Lynx

[Grand Moff Muffin]

THE MAD MARVEL UK MASH-UP

or

MARVEL SUPERHEROES MEET THE TRANSFORMERS, THUNDERCATS AND ACTION FORCE, BECAUSE WHY NOT

PART 1

The story so far:

Marvel UK's Transformers comic ran for 332 issues from 1984 to 1991.

Marvel UK's Thundercats comic ran for 129 issues from 1987 to 1991.

Marvel UK's Action Force comic ran for fifty issues from 1987 to 1988 before merging into the Transformers comic.

Marvel UK also published a number of superhero comics around this time.
___

In the year 2003, Galactus approached the planet Nebulos. The Last Autobot reacted by travelling from Cybertron to intercept Galactus. What occurred between them would never be known, as the Last Autobot never returned from their meeting, though Galactus turned back and did not come near the planet that he had originally intended to consume.

Instead, Galactus set a new course that led him into an uncharted sector of the Galaxy where time runs more slowly, a sector he had not been planning to venture into for the next few millennia. He was pleased to find it rich in undefended worlds. In 2013, ten years later by our reckoning, Galactus's progress through this region of space led him to devour two minor planets, which their unfortunate inhabitants referred to as Third Earth and New Thundera.

In the year 2015, Earth's new Sorceress Supreme, successor of Dr Strange, successfully defended our world from a sudden invasion by a previously unknown alien sorcerer called Mumm-Ra who wielded a dark Sword of Omens and commanded a horde of magically enhanced Reptilians from the planet Plun-darr... a planet located in the mysterious sector of space currently being decimated by Galactus.

Now read on!
___

Unlike their predecessors from thirty-five years earlier, the Avengers of 2018 tended not to wear their full battle gear around the house. Apart from Thor and the Vision, that is. Old habits died hard. Or perhaps they felt it would be disrespectful to their fallen comrades to change old customs.

But much had changed. Not only did the 27-year-old Franklin Richards, a.k.a. Tattletale, answer the door in jeans and t-shirt, but the door that he answered was not the front door of Avengers Mansion but rather the entrance to the lobby of Avengers Tower, located on the former site of the block that had included 177A Bleecker Street and was now part of the Stark Legacy Foundation's Greenwich Village Regeneration Zone, established following the collateral damage caused by the final battle between the Hulk and the Abomination in the year 2008.

Katy Witwicky had yet to press the buzzer to announce her landing party's surprise visit when Franklin instructed the JARVIS A.I. to unlock the door, and stepped out to greet them.

"Hi," she said. "I guess you have automatic systems to alert you to visitors before they have a chance to ring the doorbell."

"It's not that," he replied. "I dreamt of your visit two nights ago and marked it down in my diary when I woke up."

"But... we only had the idea of dropping in on you this morning," said Katy's half-Nebulan friend, Lieutenant Danita Santella of the Cameron Space Marines, entering the building ahead of the two android former Avengers, Jocasta and Machine Man. JARVIS reactivated the defences once all four visitors were safely inside.

"Yeah," said Franklin. "But if I'd told you two days ago, you might not have come. Crazy, right? Franklin Richards," he said, sticking his hand out.

"Hi. Dani Santella. Nice place you have here."

"It's all right," said Franklin. "Took me some getting used to. The Baxter Building didn't have a Sanctum Sanctorum for a penthouse or a Danger Room in the basement." He flipped a switch and a wall screen showed a jungle environment, where the black-and-gold-garbed tech-ninja known as Laserblade (son of Scarlett and Snake-Eyes) and the purple-clad gymnast called Swift honed their martial arts skills against a simulated attack by samurai chimpanzees from the planet Halfworld. "Danger Room," he repeated, to avoid any confusion.

The Vision phased through the ceiling. "It is good to see you both again," he told the two androids.

"Yipes!" said Katy, who had failed to notice his silent arrival. "Sorry..."

"Brain, Sif and Thor are in the rest area," Franklin told Dani and Katy, as the Vision led Jocasta and Machine Man away to converse with them privately. "I'll take you to them."

"Yes!" whispered Dani to Katy.

"Don't forget what I told you," she hissed back. "Sif's his wife now." Then, aloud, she asked, "Who's Brain?"

"Friend of Swift's. He's good with gadgets. Though he's not in the best of moods, as he's stumped by the latest challenge that we've put to him."

"Really? Anything I can help with? I have a certain... affinity with machines."

"Two stasis pods containing feline humanoids of unknown origin popped out of hyperspace in near-Earth space six days ago," said Franklin. "The Autobot Omega Supreme retrieved them, and his leader Jetfire had the Protectobots drop them off here. But they're damaged, and so far we've been unsuccessful in our attempts to revive the occupants."

"Let me take a look at them," said Katy, feeling the Creation Matrix nanobots stirring in her brain.

TO BE CONTINUED

[Grand Moff Muffin]

THE MAD MARVEL UK MASH-UP

or

MARVEL SUPERHEROES MEET THE TRANSFORMERS, THUNDERCATS AND ACTION FORCE, BECAUSE WHY NOT

PART 2

When Captain Hammerhand and his cyborg Berserker pirates boarded the star-liner 'Imojyn', they were anticipating easy pickings. They were not expecting three of its passengers to be armed and prepared to fight. No sooner had Top-Spinner scattered the on-board security team with the whirlwind-like blows of his flail than he came under heavy fire from Wal Rus's prosthetic laser tusks and was forced to take cover behind his personal shield. Meanwhile, Rocket Raccoon blinded Hammerhand with his blaster pistol and then engaged his rocket boots to avoid a charge by Ram-Bam, who promptly stunned himself by crashing through a bulkhead. The fourth Berserker, Cruncher, attempted to grab Rocket's girlfriend, Lylla, in a bear-hug, only to get a hard kick to a non-mechanical part of his anatomy, a paw-jab to the eye and a laser blast to his soft belly.

The wounded and humiliated pirates limped back to their spaceship, disengaged docking clamps and hurriedly jumped into hyperspace, leaving the talking animals to revive the star-liner's scattered crew.

The Berserkers had thought they had been adjusting well to their new line of work, pirating in space rather than on the oceans of Third Earth, but today's experience had set their confidence back considerably. They would have to pick their targets more carefully in future.
___

After swooning in a manner most unbecoming a Space Marine upon being introduced to Thor, Dani retreated to the Danger Room to accept a challenge to test her martial arts skills in a sparring match with Swift. Meanwhile, Franklin and Brain took Katy to the engineering level of Avengers Tower, where they found the Protectobot Groove carrying out maintenance on his vaporators, surrounded by an assorted jumble of high-tech components, some of them recognisable as belonging to Cobra Battle Android Troopers, G.I. Joe Battleforce 2000 vehicles, a Quinjet from the 1980s and an early-model Centurion droid.

They guided her over to where the two stasis pods lay.

"You should have taken them to my brother in Portland," she told them. "He's just as good at this kind of thing as I am."

Having changed out of his ninja garb, Daniel O'Hara wandered into the room, accompanied by the two imposing Asgardians, and Groove got up from where he was sitting to observe the proceedings.

Katy looked at the two dormant figures in the stasis pods - one male with a dark-spotted orange beard, one younger female with a white stripe running through her brown hair, both of them with pointed, cat-like ears. Then she turned to the devices themselves, and used the Creation Matrix to picture the alien mechanisms in her mind's eye, seek out the damaged components, and fix them.
___

Somewhere in interstellar space, at the head of a fleet of warships from the planet Plun-darr, drifted Mumm-Ra's Black Pyramid, now a spaceship in its own right rather than being tied to the surface of a planet. In its central chamber, the mummified priest handed down instructions to a motley assemblage of mercenaries such as Blackjack O'Hare, Captain Shiner, Driller, and the independent Sharkticon, Gnaw.

Mumm-Ra froze, mid-rant, sensing a change in the balance of mystic forces that he alone could perceive, flowing around and through all life in the cosmos.

Grasping the Sword of Plun-darr in one gnarled hand and the dark Sword of Omens in the other, he raised his arms and called on the Ancient Spirits of Evil to show him the hiding place of the last of his enemies, who he realised had finally awoken from their long sleep.
___

In her Sanctum Sanctorum at the pinnacle of Avengers Tower, the Sorceress Supreme sat bolt upright, sensing a dark power forcing its consciousness into the building that was home to her and her friends.

TO BE CONTINUED

[Grand Moff Muffin]

THE MAD MARVEL UK MASH-UP

or

MARVEL SUPERHEROES MEET THE TRANSFORMERS, THUNDERCATS AND ACTION FORCE, BECAUSE WHY NOT

PART 3

The Dreadnoks, now in their sixties and on parole after serving more than two decades in prison, had already been drinking heavily for three hours when night fell and Mumm-Ra's questing magic probe settled upon them and a number of their fellows in a biker bar just outside the city limits, detecting in them their barely suppressed destructive and rebellious tendencies. The alien sorcerer gave them a mental nudge to bring their anger and resentment towards the establishment to the surface, and then, at just the right moment, inserted in the mind of their leaders a notion of the Avengers as the lynchpin of that establishment. Mumm-Ra placed a block on their capacity for self-preservation and rational thought, and, like a child with a pull-back-and-go toy, settled down in front of his viewing pool to watch the chaos that would ensue as Buzzer, Ripper, Torch and the rest ran for their bikes. All he wanted from these expendable agents was a distraction...
___

Elsewhere in the city, a middle-aged Dan Ketch was at home having dinner with his family when he sensed the presence of terrible evil. He rushed outside, his head bursting into a flaming skull as he was transformed into the Ghost Rider.
___

The female was the first to awaken. As they broke open the stasis pod, she began speaking with great urgency in a tongue that none of them could understand.

"Illyana!" Franklin yelled into a communicator. "We need a spell of translation down here, fast!"

Before he had even finished speaking, a portal opened and the Sorceress jumped out followed by a small purple dragon. For a split second it appeared as if she were wearing pink pyjamas, but they quickly changed before their eyes into more imposing and stylish mystical garb.

"Something's coming," she declared portentously, and then spoilt the effect by adding, "And have you guys eaten all the pizza?"

Thor handed her a half-empty box as she lightly brushed the lips of their extra-terrestrial guest with her fingertips, enabling her to speak in English.

"It's Mumm-Ra," the feline female gasped. "He's going to kill us all!"

"Security alert," interrupted the disembodied voice of JARVIS. "Multiple hostile motorcycle incursions converging on Avengers Tower."

"It's starting," said Illyana ominously, making a face as she tasted cold pizza. "Lockheed, darling, can you warm this up for me, please?"

"I'll go," volunteered Daniel, hurriedly re-donning his ninja outfit. "Groove, are you up for this?"

"Be a pleasure," replied the Autobot, transforming to his two-wheeled battle mode. The tech-ninja called Laserblade, son of Snake-Eyes and former apprentice to Storm Shadow, snatched up his weapons and leapt on board the revving motorbike, which promptly sped from the room and down the main staircase of Avengers Tower, which JARVIS converted into its ramp configuration just in time to save them both from a bumpy ride.

In seconds they were out through the door and racing to meet the Dreadnok threat, while the Ghost Rider approached from another direction.

TO BE CONTINUED

[Grand Moff Muffin]

THE MAD MARVEL UK MASH-UP

or

MARVEL SUPERHEROES MEET THE TRANSFORMERS, THUNDERCATS AND ACTION FORCE, BECAUSE WHY NOT

PART 4

The noise made by Groove as he exited the room brought the cat-girl to her senses, and she focused for the first time on the three women, three men and small purple dragon surrounding her, strangers all.

Despite her years frozen in the stasis pod, she sprang lithely from the vessel and in two bounds had scampered up to the top of a storage locker, where she crouched on all fours, looking down at the assemblage, more with curiosity than with fear, though her overall anxiety levels clearly remained high.

"Reminds me of Tigra," Thor muttered to Sif.

The cat-girl's sharp ears picked up the name, and she frowned. "Tygra?"

"Tigra, fair maiden. She was a comrade-in-arms at one time."

"Oh. Not Tygra..."
___

The advantage of riding an Autobot motorcycle is that you have both hands free for fighting. The lead Dreadnok fired his chainsaw-shotgun, but the momentum of the discharge was absorbed by the vibranium in Laserblade's costume, and the tech-ninja's vibro-katana sliced the weapon cleanly in two and then slashed backwards, shredding the Dreadnok's rear tyre. With his other hand, Daniel loosed two electro-shurikens, which both shocked and unseated the next two bikers in line.

The Dreadnoks and their allies who encountered the Ghost Rider were treated less gently.

When the police rounded up the gang and Daniel learnt that most of them were of pensionable age, he wished he'd gone a little easier on them. A couple of them had broken ribs or hips falling from their bikes, while others had experienced slipped discs, and, most tragically, one of the pair of bikers tasered by his shurikens had suffered a fatal heart attack. But they had been driving like demons, and, before departing, the Ghost Rider assured him that devilish forces had been urging them on throughout their rampage.
___

They adjourned to the conference chamber, where they were met by Jocasta, Machine Man and the Vision. Swift and Dani Dareheart joined them, followed by Laserblade and Groove.

"Who won?" Katy asked Dani in a whisper.

"Call it a draw. But I could have beaten her easily if I'd used my suit."

"You haven't seen her suit."

"Oh! Really...?" Dani glanced in Swift's direction, reappraising the enigmatic young woman who wore her head bald save for a single long plait that reached down as far as her waist. "What does it do?"

"Later," Katy murmured.

The Thunderian was about to begin her tale.

TO BE CONTINUED

[Grand Moff Muffin]

THE MAD MARVEL UK MASH-UP

or

MARVEL SUPERHEROES MEET THE TRANSFORMERS, THUNDERCATS AND ACTION FORCE, BECAUSE WHY NOT

PART 5

Destabilising attacks took place almost simultaneously across the quadrant, seemingly random and unconnected if it weren't for their timing. The ancient evil spirit Mongor landed on Scarvix, and brutally slaughtered the entire population of a number of outlying civilian settlements with his demonic scythe before turning his attention on the planet's second-largest city. A Third Earth Technopede appeared on Pz-Zazz and laid siege to the Big Boss's underground stronghold. And Gnaw's freelance Deluxe Sharkticons, who we shall refer to, for want of better names, as Gnightmare, Gnemesis, Gnasty, Gnibbler, Gnailgun and Gnigel, launched a murderous assault on the Femaxians' capital city.

Norrin Radd, the Silver Surfer, felt himself drawn to an unknown object in the interstellar gulf - an object in the form of a pyramid. Like a moth to a flame, its aura drew him in, and then smote him, leaving him unconscious and adrift in space, separated from his surfboard by a dark energy even more potent than the Power Cosmic.
___

Pumyra's story:

"It was less than a year from the day we first set foot on New Thundera to the day Galactus came to tear down our dreams, and those of our allies on Third Earth. New Thundera was the first to be consumed. We had sent out messages into space, calling the scattered survivors of the original Thundera home, telling them it was safe, that the planet's instabilities had subsided, and the evil one, Mumm-Ra, had been vanquished. They returned, trusting the words of assurance, words that called them, as it turned out, to their deaths...

"For Mumm-Ra had not been destroyed - perhaps cannot be destroyed. The Herald of Galactus left the Thunderians and the peaceful peoples of Third Earth bewildered, but she had the opposite effect on Mumm-Ra. Her arrival spurred him into swift, decisive action! He accepted without hesitation that our two planets were doomed, and knowing that, he realised he no longer needed to attempt to defeat the Thundercats by attacking us directly. To destroy us now, all he had to do was prevent us from escaping the coming of Galactus.

"He unleashed the full, unsuspected might of his armies against New Thundera's spaceport before the people had even agreed to the necessity of flight. The Reptilians, Monkians and Jackalmen wiped out the guards and destroyed our ships. The Thundercat heroes reacted and fought to their last breath to defend our few remaining vessels, but they were too late, and too few. Our greatest champions died, not at the hands of mightier foes, but overwhelmed by sheer numbers. Lion-O, Cheetara, Panthro, Tygra, Bengali - they all fell under the swords and death-rays of the hordes of Plun-darr. As a medic, I was tasked with saving the life of my injured comrade, Lynx-O, and keeping this out of the hands of Mumm-Ra. The stasis pods were my last hope."

From a satchel that never left her side, she produced the Book of Omens.

"To my knowledge, all my fellow Thunderians perished with the arrival of Galactus, for our ships were all destroyed. Mumm-Ra's forces escaped intact. My last memory of New Thundera was the sight of that devil, who kept his distance during the battle, taking the Sword of Omens from the hand of the dying Lord Lion-O."

"What about the other planet, the one you call Third Earth?"

"They had fewer ships. Maybe the Thunderkittens managed to get out with a few of our friends from that world before Galactus consumed them - I just don't know. All I know is my mission, to protect the Book of Omens, which is the one thing Mumm-Ra lacks in order to become the most powerful force in the Galaxy. I set our course for a world whose co-ordinates are written on the Book itself - a mythical world our people have never seen, which we had thought existed only in the distant past of Third Earth, if it existed at all - a planet we refer to as First Earth... And I awoke here, in your midst."

Dani snapped her fingers.

"Lynx-O? Lynxana! I have met one of your people, only recently, on the planet Derut Four."

"You've seen Lynxana the Hunter?"

"I have, but... I'm afraid she died, pursuing one of your enemies, a Reptilian called S-S-Scumb. He died shortly afterwards. I'm sorry. I only knew her for a short time, but, for what it's worth, I liked her a lot."

"Then the Thunderians are a dead race."

"Not necessarily," said Brain. "You referred to some Thunderkittens who might have gotten away, and there may be other survivors out there that you know nothing about. Your friend Lynx-O's going to be all right. Now that Katy's fixed the pods, he should be up and about in a couple of hours, all wounds healed."

Pumyra shook her head. "My species' survival can no longer be my primary concern. Protecting the Book is all that matters, otherwise Mumm-Ra will cause devastation and misery on a scale the Galaxy has never seen."

Jocasta tilted her head as if listening to a voice only she could hear, then spoke. "I think it's starting. Multiple attacks are occurring across the quadrant. X-51 and I are being recalled to our star-gliders."

"You don't go," said Franklin. It was a statement, not a suggestion.

"Excuse me?"

"You stay with us. That's what I saw when I nodded off earlier. And you call for reinforcements."

"His words makes sense," said the Vision. "If the two Thunderians and the Book are what this sorcerer seeks, and if he is behind the earlier attack on Avengers Tower, then here is where we must consolidate our forces."

"No, we need to take the fight to Mumm-Ra," said Illyana. "He has already attacked Earth once, three years ago, with what sounds like just a fraction of his army. I drove him off, but not before countless lives were lost in Mexico, Siberia and Australia. At the time, it seemed like he was looking for something, but we knew not what. I guess we know now. He just arrived a few years early, that's all."

"And it must be more than coincidence that these attacks are taking place within hours of the Thunderians coming out of stasis," said Sif.

"I agree with the Sorceress," said Groove. "We must keep the battle away from the Earth at all costs. Jocasta, Machine Man - call your captains and explain the situation."

"What is our plan of attack?" No-one had noticed Swift leave the conference chamber, but now she reappeared in full battle armour, six inches long and flying around the room on mechanical wings like her avian namesake. She hovered for a second and then enlarged to full size, her wings folding up into hidden compartments on her back. Swift's suit was a 2018 fusion of the technologies behind Ant-Man, Iron Man and the Falcon.

"See what I mean?" Katy whispered to Dani.

"What else do you see?" Thor asked Franklin.

"Too many shifting possibilities," he muttered. "But battle is inevitable - and we will suffer loss before this is over."

"I've spoken to our captains," Jocasta announced, though nobody had heard her saying a word. "The Victory and Vigilant are at the Avengers' disposal, including their Autobot warriors - Gunrunner, Skyhammer, Sunstreaker and Windcharger."

"I'll call in my fellow Protectobots," said Groove. "We won't leave Earth, but we can help defend Avengers Tower in your absence."

"I shall summon the Warriors Three from Asgard," said Thor.

"Oh, good!" murmured Dani to Katy. "I wouldn't mind being introduced to Fandral the Dashing. He's not married, is he?" she added with a mischievous wink, earning herself a kick in the shin.

"I'll alert my brother out at the Xavier Institute," said Illyana. "His wife, Rapture, has been running the school for the gifted since Cyclops and Phoenix retired. I can have them stand by in case we need any extra support here. Then I'll cast binding spells on the Book of Omens to prevent its being opened by anyone but me. I'll hide it where Mumm-Ra will never think of looking for it, and create decoy copies to fool him. We'll attack him on two fronts - Thor will command the attack on his fleet from without, while I lead the strike from within, on Mumm-Ra himself. Brain and Franklin will remain here with Lockheed to look after Lynx-O and co-ordinate our efforts. The Sanctum's defences will protect you from mystical threats in my absence while the Protectobots guard against the physical. Thor, have I missed anything?"

"I am content with the plan, good Sorceress." Then, to Pumyra, "Will you join with us in our perilous mission, Thunderian?"

"Just try and stop me!" she hissed.

"Then I say, Avengers and allies... Assemble!"

TO BE CONTINUED

[Grand Moff Muffin]

THE MAD MARVEL UK MASH-UP

or

MARVEL SUPERHEROES MEET THE TRANSFORMERS, THUNDERCATS AND ACTION FORCE, BECAUSE WHY NOT

PART 6

The star-glider 'Spearhead' dropped out of hyperspace over Femax and landed close to the Royal City. Sideswipe, Circuit-Smasher and the Spearhead's two Robot-Busters promptly disembarked and began laying into Gnaw's Sharkticon invasion force. The Autobot Micromaster Astro Squad arrived on Pz-Zazz and entered the tunnel created by the attacking Technopede. When they caught up with the giant crawling robot, they set about carving it up with their space lasers. At around the same time, the Circuit-Breaker 'Dasher' Shaedira entered the atmosphere of the planet Scarvix in her star-fighter and strafed the scythe-wielding spirit Mongor. When he clambered out of the smoking crater, she was waiting in her fully charged suit to send him back to whatever dimension he came from with a decisive electric blast.
___

While the Avengers assembled their allied forces, Mumm-Ra sent four warships on ahead of his main fleet to test Earth's defences, and these were detected by Cameron Space Control as they approached the Solar System. The Sorceress summoned Katy Witwicky urgently to her Sanctum Sanctorum.

With their ability to create, destroy and repair mechanical devices ranging from a mobile phone to a spaceship, and imbue such devices with life, Katy knew that she and her brother Jacko shared a spot in the top ten most powerful Earthlings of their generation. However, Illyana Rasputin was in a different league altogether. Katy exited the lift on the top floor of Avengers Tower, a few metres below the helipad they had seen from the outside when they first arrived, and found herself in the kind of bedroom one might expect of a single woman in her late twenties. Then Illyana invited her to climb the ladder into her attic.

[Note: It is debatable whether Illyana and Franklin should be considered members of the same generation of Earthlings as Katy Witwicky. The 29-year-old Illyana was born in 1976 but transported from her 1982 to this universe's 1995 by Dr Strange, thus never meeting the Illyana who was a member of the New Mutants and died of the Legacy Virus, while Franklin Richards' physical age has been altered a number of times during his life, the last instance being when he was abducted to the future in 1993, then returned to his parents in 1996 as he was at the age of five. In 2018, he is considered to be 27.]

Katy expected only a small storage space - after all, they were at the top of the building. She was not prepared to find herself in a mind-blowingly big room of stone arches, columns and staircases that looked like it came out of a woodcut by M.C. Escher. When she peered through an archway she saw herself from the back, in a room identical to the one in which she was currently standing. The Sanctum Sanctorum was a pocket dimension, unbounded but finite in extent. The trapdoor through which they had climbed closed up and vanished to leave an unbroken, rich purple carpet.

Illyana pointed to two large spherical energy cages suspended in the air without visible support below the vaulted, chandeliered ceiling. One contained the murderous mutant Sabretooth, responsible for the deaths of the X-Men Archangel, Gambit and Psylocke in the mid-1990s and countless more besides. The residents of the Xavier Institute had no appetite to continue with attempts at his rehabilitation. The other sphere held a nightmarish N'Garai demon.

"I have the means to disable two of the approaching warships," said Illyana, gesturing at her prisoners. "I've heard that you have friends amongst the Decepticons, and wondered if you would be willing to use your influence to provide the means to neutralise the other two."

Katy swallowed hard at what was being proposed, then managed to get out the words, "I'll need to make a few calls..."

"Ask them in person," said Illyana, effortlessly opening a space portal from her Sanctum to Decepticon City on Cybertron. Katy took a deep breath and stepped through.
___

The Bifrost deposited on the roof of Avengers Tower not only the Warriors Three, but also Brunnhilde the Valkyrie and her winged steed, Aragorn, in response to Thor's call to arms. In addition, the Vision had succeeded in contacting Eros the Titan, a.k.a. Starfox, another former Avenger, who agreed to join the assault on Mumm-Ra's main battle fleet, causing Danita Santella to lose all interest in Fandral the Dashing. Meanwhile, Laserblade summoned his fellow former students of Storm Shadow, the next generation of what had once been G.I. Joe's Ninja Force - Star Samurai, Hush Job, Sai-Spy and Styletta, daughter of Jinx.

The Protectobots had arrived in the street below and formed Defensor, but Brain was still uneasy at the prospect of being left alone in Avengers Tower with the coveted Book of Omens, Franklin Richards and only a small Flock dragon to defend them. Franklin assured him they would be fine, but seeing all the other adventurers gathering for the mission, Brain insisted on calling up his friends Slick and Hassle and asking them to come over with their bags of special tools to keep them company while the big guns were away.

Her task completed, Katy sought out the drinks cabinet in the rest area of Avengers Tower, as she needed a stiff drink to settle her emotions. The Decepticons had been all too willing to engage in a little sanctioned piracy in which they got to keep the captured vessels afterwards.
___

The four warships each carried a full crew complement of forty bloodthirsty Jackalmen from the planet Plun-darr, eager to cause mayhem amongst the humans. But they were destined never to reach Earth, because just as they were passing Jupiter a magical space portal opened on each vessel's bridge. One produced a snarling Sabretooth, another a slavering N'Garai, the third an oversized red-and-gold robotic lion and his Predacon team-mates, and the fourth a boarding party of Decepticon Micromasters. The first ship spiralled out of control and exploded as it hit the gas giant's atmosphere too fast for controlled entry. The second lost power and spun slowly into the moon called Io, where it crashed and also exploded. The other two, once their crew were all dead, set a course for Cybertron.
___

The Lady Sif watched from an upper landing as a number of her allies gathered in the rest area to muster their courage ahead of tomorrow's perilous mission to attack Mumm-Ra. Volstagg was regaling all and sundry with tales of his supposed accomplishments, while Machine Man was asking himself whether he had ever encountered Brain, Hassle, Slick and Swift before, as the group registered as strangely familiar to his robot senses, despite never having met him until today. Judging from their body language as they sat beside one another, the dark-haired Space Marine, Lieutenant Santella, had hooked up with Starfox - hardly the greatest shock in the world - and was now trying to fix her fair-haired friend up with Fandral the Dashing, only Katy seemed unhappily distracted by thoughts of something other than men.

Sif wondered what she had been doing with Illyana up in the Sanctum Sanctorum.
___

Next, the Sorceress took Pumyra and the Book of Omens up into her loft. A few minutes later they both descended, still in possession of the Book, or so it seemed.

TO BE CONTINUED

[Grand Moff Muffin]

THE MAD MARVEL UK MASH-UP

or

MARVEL SUPERHEROES MEET THE TRANSFORMERS, THUNDERCATS AND ACTION FORCE, BECAUSE WHY NOT

PART 7

The next morning, everyone left to go and fight Mumm-Ra and his fleet in deep space. Everyone, that is, except Brain, Franklin, Hassle, Slick, Lockheed and Defensor.

Almost as soon as they had gone, a second giant Technopede, which Mumm-Ra had buried on Earth upon his initial visit three years earlier, surfaced and began crawling towards Avengers Tower.

"It'll destroy hundreds of homes and kill countless civilians before it reaches us," realised Franklin. "Defensor! Go and intercept it at once!"

"Protectobots, roll out!" ordered Hotspot, as the giant warrior separated into a miscoloured fire engine, a police car and motorcycle, an ambulance and a rescue helicopter, all of which set off at full speed to halt the mechanical menace.

"Are you crazy?" shouted Brain. "It's obviously a diversion! It was the Protectobots' job to defend us!"

"No," said Franklin, calmly. "It was the Protectobots' job to go after the diversion. Now, arm yourselves and take up positions on the first floor. I'll look after the Book of Omens."

Brain shook his head in exasperation. What was Franklin going to do? Dream the enemy to death?

Franklin made his way to the upper levels, posting Lockheed on the fourth floor.
___

Four of Earth's enemies swooped down on Avengers Tower astride flying devices known as Nosedivers. They smashed their way through the reinforced windows on levels one, three and six.

On level one, Captain Shiner and Safari Joe opened fire the moment they were inside, sending Brain, Hassle and Slick diving for cover, weapons in hand, and a ferocious firefight ensued.

Vultureman found level three deserted and headed upstairs, only to be confronted by Lockheed, who sent his feathers up in flame. It was a horrible way to go.

The strategically minded Ratar-O, who had planned the entire operation, entered on level six. Although he hadn't explained it to the other three in those terms, their job was to sacrifice themselves while he got the Book for Mumm-Ra.

Brandishing his daggers, Ratar-O chased Franklin all the way to the top of Avengers Tower, where Grune the Destroyer waited on the helipad with a pair of Skycutters to whisk them and their prize away.

In Illyana's quarters, Franklin pulled open the trapdoor in the ceiling and chucked the Book through it. Ratar-O pushed past him and leapt after it. He emerged from the hatch, not into the Sanctum Sanctorum, but onto the roof. He waved the Book triumphantly at Grune.

"Kill that one!" he said, pointing down at Franklin, and Grune leapt down through the hatch, eager to obey.
___

With the automated defence systems of JARVIS on their side, Hassle and Slick were able to outflank the unsuspecting Captain Shiner and Safari Joe and shoot them dead before they had a chance to adapt to the unfavourable tactical situation.

On the roof, Ratar-O kicked his Skycutter into life and took off, while inside the building, Grune the Destroyer towered over Franklin, brandishing his Thundranium mace. As soon as Franklin, who was secretly one of the most powerful mutants on the face of the Earth, was certain that Ratar-O was safely away, he atomised Grune with a bio-energy blast.

"I've got it, Lord Mumm-Ra!" cried a triumphant Ratar-O, holding the Book of Omens aloft as he flew away from Avengers Tower. Mumm-Ra heard, and once the cackling creature was clear of the Sorceress's mystical defences, the evil wizard transported the Book out of Ratar-O's hand and into his own, light-years away, in the heart of his pyramidal spaceship.

Ratar-O had a couple of seconds to realise that the Book was gone before Jetfire blew him out of the sky with his particle beam cannon.

TO BE CONTINUED

[Grand Moff Muffin]

THE MAD MARVEL UK MASH-UP

or

MARVEL SUPERHEROES MEET THE TRANSFORMERS, THUNDERCATS AND ACTION FORCE, BECAUSE WHY NOT

PART 8

Flashback to the nineteenth of August, 2018, and the planet Cybertron.

Sergeant 'Hellforce' Jynk struggled to keep up with his commanding officers, Captain Sam 'Spacehiker' Wainwright and Commander Allan 'Backstop' Silver of the star-glider 'Stalwart', as they strode through the alien throng of the Cosmic Carnival, trying to catch sight of something, anything that might spark a memory from 1988. Jynk's Powermaster partner, the Autobot Punch, followed them at a distance, making his own observations.

"We were part of the sideshow," recalled Sam. "They kept us in... that cage there!"

"Damn, you're right," agreed Allan. "No sign of Big Top, though."

In the place formerly occupied by the Spacehikers and Big Top, there now crouched a teenaged boy and girl with certain feline characteristics about their eyes, their ears, their hands and their feet, as well as in the graceful way they moved about their confined space and in how they carefully observed those who observed them.

The poster on the wall said, "Wildkitten and Thundakat - the finest acrobats this side of the Orion Nebula!"

Sam didn't like to see them in the cage, but they appeared to be fit and healthy, and he was tempted to stick around and see their show, then perhaps find an opportunity to speak to them, discover what sort of a contract they'd been conned into signing, and ask if there was anything he could do to help.
___

On the fourth of October, the Stalwart received its daily briefing from Cameron Space Control. One of the items mentioned was Katy Witwicky's awakening from stasis of a pair of 'Thundercats' who had found their way to Avengers Tower on Earth. Pictures of Lynx-O and Pumyra were attached. Captain Wainwright stared at them stupidly for the best part of a minute before making the connection.

That pair at the Cosmic Carnival, the ones who'd signed their freedom away five years earlier to pay for the ongoing medical treatment of their grievously injured friend, Ben-something, who they said they had found floating in a damaged stasis pod amongst the debris of a planet that had been otherwise consumed by Galactus.

He hadn't been able to do anything for the three of them at the time, but he could sure as hell do something for them now.

He punched the ship's interstellar communicator.
___

At the same time, on Earth, just to keep the Action Force element of the story going, the septuagenarian master of disguise, Zartan, was busy busting his Dreadnok pals out of jail.

Again.

As in the olden days, he wondered why he bothered.

TO BE CONTINUED

[Grand Moff Muffin]

THE MAD MARVEL UK MASH-UP

or

MARVEL SUPERHEROES MEET THE TRANSFORMERS, THUNDERCATS AND ACTION FORCE, BECAUSE WHY NOT

PART 9

Thor led his five fellow Asgardians, the Vision and Eros the Titan in a frontal assault on Mumm-Ra's space fleet, backed up by the Autobot Powermasters, Sunstreaker and Windcharger, and Katy Witwicky's first living creation, Action Master Thundercracker, who rode a Solo Mission Jet Plane resembling a purple F-117 Nighthawk. Katy herself, piloting her Cameron star-fighter, flew close past key enemy ships such as the Lunatak Red-Eye's Thundrillium-powered 'Sky-Tomb' and the robot Two-Time's massive 'Dome-Down', and used the power of the Creation Matrix to disable their engines, setting them up for Thor and the others to take them out.

At the same time, Illyana Rasputin transported four boarding parties into the interior of Mumm-Ra's pyramid flagship to draw his crew away from the evil one's central command chamber. Laserblade and the Ninja Force found themselves up against an army of Monkians. Machine Man and Swift were faced with Chilla the Lunatak and the robot known only as Driller. Dani Dareheart, Jocasta and Pumyra were quickly surrounded by a horde of bloodthirsty Reptilians. And the Autobot Pretenders, Gunrunner and Skyhammer, prepared to engage the remaining Lunataks, Alluro, Amok, Luna and Tug-Mug.

Observing the boarders courtesy of Mumm-Ra's magical viewing pool, S-S-Slithe recognised Dani as the gladiatrix who had killed his brother, S-S-Scumb, on Derut Four. Blackjack O'Hare remembered her as the Space Marine who had humiliated and wounded him and deprived him of his Tenacious Two on Grand Central Space Station. And the Sharkticons Gnautilator and Gnumbskull recalled how she and Jocasta had assisted in the defeat of their forces on Pequod. Mumm-Ra impatiently told them he didn't care who killed who - he just wanted all his enemies dead.
___

As soon as the last of Mumm-Ra's minions had been dispatched to the extremities of his pyramidal starship to repel the boarding parties, Illyana Rasputin, Mistress of the Mystic Arts, used the Eye of Agamotto, which she always wore around her throat, to teleport herself to his central tomb and engage him in single combat. Having confirmed that they were alone, she called upon the power of the Vishanti to erect magical shields at all the chamber's entrances, to ensure that it stayed that way for the duration of their battle.

"Foolish girl," smirked Mumm-Ra, making no attempt to stop her. "You will regret closing off all avenues of escape, and all hope of receiving help from your friends." And as the Sorceress Supreme watched, held aloft by her Cloak of Levitation, he invoked the Ancient Spirits of Evil residing in the four giant statues surrounding his tomb, to transform his decayed form into the near-invincible giant that was Mumm-Ra, the Ever-Living.

Illyana made the first move, firing mystic bolts from the Wand of Watoomb, which Mumm-Ra easily deflected back at her with the Sword of Plun-darr. The bolts struck her head-on, knocking the breath from her body and causing her to fly backwards into the chamber walls.

Mumm-Ra raised the weapon in his other hand, the dark Sword of Omens, and opened the Eye of Thundera embedded in its hilt. Corrupted by Mumm-Ra's evil, its former power to heal had become a power to destroy, and he used it to blast Illyana with a devastating energy beam. She cried out in pain, dropping to one knee on the chamber floor, and held up her hands in an attempt to ward off the assault.
___

Jocasta was down, and Dani found herself caught unawares by S-S-Slithe and a snarling Sharkticon. As the Reptilian's finger closed on the trigger of his death-laser, the Space Marine thought her luck had finally run out. But then Pumyra was there, a flying kick with one feline foot knocking the blaster out of his grasp, followed by a one-armed handstand and a spinning kick with the other foot that sent S-S-Slithe sailing through the air and into the gaping mouth of the Sharkticon, who reflexively closed his jaws on his luckless ally.

"Whoops," said the Sharkticon, realising his blunder. By this time, Dani had received the precious seconds she required to activate her Circuit-Breaker armour and blast the giant robotic fish into oblivion.

"I wish we had medics like you in the Space Marines," gasped Dani, once the danger had passed.
___

On the Dome-Down, Sunstreaker and Action Master Thundercracker teamed up to defeat the laser-shooting Two-Time, while Thor destroyed the Lunataks' Sky-Tomb with his enchanted hammer.
___

The Sorceress summoned the Crimson Bands of Cyttorak, in the hope that they might prove strong enough to hold back her enemy. With a shout, Mumm-Ra easily shattered the mystic bonds.

"You sealed your doom by coming here!" he gloated. "You only barely bested me when we fought on your homeworld. Now we are in my domain, and my power is increased tenfold! And to make certain of your end, I have taken steps to secure this in advance of our battle." And from the folds of his robe, he drew the Book of Omens, obtained by Ratar-O before his unfortunate demise.

"It will do you no good," declared Illyana. "You have not the wit to read it."

Mumm-Ra barked a laugh at this presumption, opening the Book. "I have lived a hundred lifetimes, and you are little more than a child. I..." And his voice tailed off as he read the words on the pages before him. "What is this? 'Age of Apocalypse'... 'Fear Itself'... 'Original Sin'... 'A Rage in Heaven'... 'Regeneration One'... 'Revenge of the Fallen'... 'Dogs of War'... 'The Rise of Cobra'... This text makes no sense. These are not spells. It's a work of fiction!"

"Of course!" smiled the Sorceress. "Surely you didn't think I'd let you get your hands on the real Book of Omens? And I had a particular reason for facing you alone, Mumm-Ra. I didn't want anyone to witness what I'm about to do to you."

Mumm-Ra looked at her incredulously. "What you're going to do to me? I know all your spells. I know the limits of your power, and those of your teacher, Dr Strange. Your wand is no match for my magical swords. I don't need the Book to finish you. And believe me, when you're dead, I'll find its location, and once I have it the universe will be mine!"

"Some of what you say might have been true once," said Illyana. "But you see, I have also lived more than one lifetime, and I have powers beyond those of Dr Strange." And with that, she removed the Eye of Agamotto, which can only be used by a being with a pure heart and a clean soul, and placed it on the ground beside her. "One other thing, Mumm-Ra. This is no wand. It's a sword."

Mumm-Ra looked at Illyana's wand more carefully, his gaze piercing the mists of illusion, and sure enough, its true form was that of a flaming Soulsword. As the Sorceress brandished this formidable weapon, her eyes turned from blue to yellow rimmed with red, horns sprouted from her fair head, her feet became cloven hooves and her modest costume was replaced by something altogether more extreme as she transformed into her Darkchilde persona.

"But-" Mumm-Ra began to protest, as his own Ancient Spirits of Evil deserted him, fleeing back into the four statues, and he shrank back to his original, shrivelled form.

Illyana traced a wide circle with her Soulsword, opening a portal to the demon realm of Limbo, or 'Otherplace', from which sprang numerous demons, led by the mighty S'ym.

"Whatcha need from us today, boss?" he demanded.

"Kill him," said Illyana, and, without hesitating, the demons tore Mumm-Ra apart.

TO BE CONCLUDED

[Grand Moff Muffin]

THE MAD MARVEL UK MASH-UP

or

MARVEL SUPERHEROES MEET THE TRANSFORMERS, THUNDERCATS AND ACTION FORCE, BECAUSE WHY NOT

CONCLUSION

When Sergeants Jack Runner and Joe Hammer phased from their human disguises into the forms of giant Autobot warriors, they made short work of their Lunatak opposition. However, their fellow boarding parties on Mumm-Ra's Black Pyramid had not had such an easy time of it. Machine Man had successfully subdued Driller by using his extending arms to tie up his enemy and drain him of his energy, but had then been frozen solid by Chilla's icy breath, leaving it up to Swift to knock out the queen of cold. Dani and Pumyra were engaged in mortal combat with Ma-Mutt and the Astral Moat Monster, but the Ninja Force had the worst of it, being totally outnumbered by the Monkian soldiers in their part of the ship. Star Samurai and Sai-Spy had been killed, Hush Job had been wounded, and Laserblade and Styletta were fighting back-to-back over his prone form and were on the verge of being overwhelmed when Gunrunner and Skyhammer smashed through the wall and drove away the last of the opposition.

Out in space, Windcharger had crushed the robotic Captain Cracker and scuttled his pirate starship, Starfox and the Vision had vanquished the repulsive Tongue-A-Saurus, and the Asgardians had finally turned the few remaining Monkian and Jackalman warships into floating piles of scrap.

In Mumm-Ra's central tomb, Illyana/Darkchilde reached out for the Sword of Omens, then paused and took a step back. Her eyes turned to blue again, her horns retracted, her legs became fully human once more, and her attire reverted to its original state. Her demon servants vanished back into Limbo, and the Soulsword was replaced by the Wand of Watoomb. She picked up and hung from her neck the Eye of Agamotto, which, as we observed, can only be used by a being with a pure heart and a clean soul. Then she retrieved the Sword of Omens and the Sword of Plun-darr, dropped the shields she had erected around the chamber, and set off in search of her friends.

Several Reptilian ships escaped into hyperspace. Once the star-gliders 'Victory' and 'Vigilant' had removed all the heroes from Mumm-Ra's Black Pyramid, the Sorceress was wondering whether there was some way in which she could salvage the giant ship and make use of it, when the Silver Surfer, reunited with his board, arrived too late for the battle, and, without a word, used the Power Cosmic to reduce the pyramid to space dust.
___

The star-glider 'Stalwart' returned to Cybertron, where Captain Sam Wainwright quickly made a deal with the organisers of the Cosmic Carnival, whereby he would give them his Sharkticon prisoners, Gnitro and Gnedward, in return for their cancelling the contract binding the former Wilykit and Wilykat, who now liked to call themselves Wildkitten and Thundakat. The Stalwart gave Wildkitten, Thundakat and their injured comrade, Bengali, a lift back to Earth, where they were reunited with Pumyra and the blind Thundercat, Lynx-O.

The five surviving Thunderians agreed for the Sword and Book of Omens to remain, for the time being, under the protection of Illyana Rasputin, on condition that they too were allowed to remain at Avengers Tower, and this was granted. Bengali continued to require medical treatment, which JARVIS was able to provide. The three younger Thunderians and the surviving members of the Ninja Force, Hush Job and Styletta, became Avengers-in-training, with reserve status, which was also held by the former Avenger, Lockheed.

Thor and Sif decided to go back to Asgard for a time, accompanied by the Warriors Three. The former Avenger, Starfox, and the ex-Defender, Brunnhilde the Valkyrie, took their places on the active roster, alongside Daniel, Franklin, Illyana, Swift and the Vision. Brain, Hassle and Slick departed, having had enough of alien invasions for one lifetime, as did the Protectobots, once the carcass of the Technopede had been safely disposed of.

After repairing Jocasta, Katy Witwicky invited her first living creation, Action Master Thundercracker, to join the Cameron Space Marines, and he accepted. Dani Santella boarded her star-fighter and set off in the direction of Nebulos. Unbeknown to her, as she removed her Circuit-Breaker costume and settled back into the pilot's seat for the trip through hyperspace, hiding in the hold of her ship was a Black Bunny Assassin with a death-laser and an itchy trigger-finger, waiting for the opportune moment to strike, and have his revenge.

THE END

[Grand Moff Muffin]

THE MAD MARVEL UK MASH-UP: DEADLIER GAMES

PART 1

Mojo was furious at the astronomical audience figures being achieved by recent broadcasts from the Murderpits of Derut Four, and was determined to host a rival tournament to boost his own channel's dwindling ratings. The destruction of the forces of Mumm-Ra by the Avengers and the Autobots provided the Spineless One with the perfect opportunity to have his talent-hunter, Spiral, round up a suitably colourful line-up of fighting individuals from amongst the scattered survivors of battle, and revive their failing careers by bestowing upon their undeserving souls the gift of interdimensional television immortality.

Spiral teleported herself onto the fleeing Reptilian warships, where she inevitably caused much consternation by her presence as she moved to and fro, selecting the best (or at least the most interesting) warriors for future stardom. On one ship she found two cyborg Berserkers, Cannon Blaster and Quickjaws, killed one and bagged the other for her master, Mojo. Then she came across the last three survivors from the Lunartix Empire, who went by the unlikely names of Carcass, Lobotomaxx and Predacon. They fought like demons, and two died beneath her swords rather than be taken, but she succeeded in capturing one of them alive.

Next, Spiral secured a lizard-like alien who appeared to be in command of one of the warships, and finally she liberated from cells protected by force-fields a cybernetic flying creature, a miniature Sharkticon with a bad attitude, and an angry-looking samurai warrior. All would provide points of interest for Mojo's loyal and not-so-loyal viewers.

Then Spiral visited Earth and located the Dreadnoks, who had been freed from jail by Zartan after Mumm-Ra induced them into launching a suicide assault on Avengers Tower a few days earlier. Most of them were overdue for retirement and suffering from assorted injuries. They had gathered in a forest clearing outside the city to plan their next move.

Zartan was there, obviously, as were his brother and sister, Zandar and Zarana. Buzzer, Ripper and Torch were also there, and so were Thrasher, Zanzibar, Road Pig, Gnawgahyde and the former Road-Jammers known as Burn-Out and Roadhog. Monkeywrench had died during the night-time battle with Laserblade, Groove and the Ghost Rider, and was now resting peacefully in the morgue.

Also present were several (relatively) young bikers who had been influenced by Mumm-Ra into riding on Avengers Tower alongside the older Dreadnoks, and Zartan had brought with him a handful of ex-Cobra Battle Android Troopers and caged Mega Monsters, genetically enhanced bio-beasts created by Dr Mindbender towards the end of 1993, two years before the final destruction of Cobra.

Spiral teleported into their midst and scattered the motley gathering with her many-armed fighting style, freeing the Mega Monsters and killing Gnawgahyde by accident when he staggered into the path of one of her flailing swords. It was a test. Most of those assembled ran. A few briefly held their ground, and Spiral selected the most likely candidates from amongst these, spiriting them back to the Mojoverse.

One of the younger bikers fleeing the scene upon Spiral's entrance was an undercover police officer, Robin Lindley, who had convinced her superiors to put her in a cell with Zarana in the hopes that she might lead them to her brother, Zartan. The plan had been going well until the unforeseen intervention of a many-armed swordswoman teleporting in from another dimension.

Robin kept her wits about her and tried not to get separated from her prime target. Yes, what had just happened was unusual, but she had had an unusual life and was determined to keep it together, unlike her late brother, Jed. Sure, she wasn't one to go looking for more out-of-this-world adventures in the way than Sammy and Allan had done, but when the weird came to Earth, she knew what to do.

As she ran, she spoke rapidly into her digital watch, calling for backup. And not just any backup. She was calling in a very special police car, one that some thirty years earlier had let her and her teddy bear, Daisy, fly on a Combaticon space shuttle.

The Protectobots moved in, together with the Avengers, Laserblade and Swift, and their Ninja Force friends, Hush Job and Styletta.
___

Spiral returned from her mission with ten subjects, and Mojo's personal assistant, Major Domo, selected half a dozen more from those who had been secured on earlier dates for routine screen-testing, so as to round out the roster. Having considered the altogether less pleasant alternatives on offer, the following sixteen volunteers ultimately signed on the dotted line to participate in the 2018 Slaughter Arena tournament on Mojoverse Battle Station Zero:

B.A.A.T., a Battle Armoured Android Trooper formerly serving the terrorist organisation, Cobra
Cannon Blaster, a cyborg Berserker not currently allied to Hammerhand's band of space pirates
Cloud, a sentient nebula sometimes appearing in human form, once allied to Earth's Defenders
Electro, a.k.a. Maxwell Dillon, a super-villain from the planet Earth
Ghoarg, a Drakillar from Halfworld in the Keystone Quadrant
Gnecksnapper, a Sharkticon Micromaster from the planet Quintesson
Hachiman, a samurai warrior from the Planet of the Red Sun
Hooligan Jr, a murderous gladiator-in-training from the planet Mil-Wal
Hopper, an Autobot warrior from the planet Cybertron, able to transform into a mechanical frog
Lizzor, a lizard-like evil mutant from the planet Plun-darr
Lobotomaxx, an alien annihilator from the planet Zog, last survivor of the Lunartix Empire
Randy 'Roadhog' Horton, a former Road-Jammer, now in his fifties, allied to Zartan's Dreadnoks
Recorder 874, a Rigellian Recorder upgraded on Funghurus Six to fight in gladiatorial contests
The Bio-Viper, a Cobra Eel mutated by D.N.A. from piranhas and tentacled sea monsters
The Monstro-Viper, a Cobra Range-Viper mutated by D.N.A. from bears and rabid werewolves
The Stinger, a vicious cybernetic humanoid dragonfly from the planet Third Earth

Mojo was delighted, and rearranged his broadcast scheduling to give them prime time.

TO BE CONTINUED

[Grand Moff Muffin]

THE MAD MARVEL UK MASH-UP: DEADLIER GAMES

PART 2

The name's Randy 'Roadhog' Horton. I've always been a big dude. I'd been trying to make it as a bounty-hunter for two years over in Pennsylvania without much success, and was working as a motorcycle stunt-rider on the side to pay off the bills, when the Z Foundation approached me and three others and offered us jobs as the original Road-Jammers. This was a year or so before the government admitted that not all the Transformers were the same. Back then, Autobots and Decepticons were both fair game. Anyway, I was 28 and still wet behind the ears, know what I mean? We were all taken in by those Z Foundation dudes, even Felix, and he was real smart. But how were we supposed to know they were actually front-men for the Decepticons?

Anyway, once we figured that out, we struck out on our own, and stayed together for a few years. The smart guy, Felix, did a good job replicating and improving on the 'Cons' jammer tech, and we were soon back in business, taking down the odd robotic menace here and there, and making a quick buck in the process. But we had... creative differences, and before long went our own separate ways. The ex-Neo-Knight Thunderpunch was my partner for a few years, until Ultron killed him. Anyhow, thirty years on, I'm still a big dude, I'm still in good shape (and why not - Stallone's in his seventies) and I've still got a more-or-less clean rap sheet. Guess the law considered me more useful to 'em on the streets than behind bars.

Until last week, that is, when some psych-dude got inside my head and made me ride with those Dreadnok creeps in a crazy attack on Avengers Tower. What was that about? Me and my old Road-Jammer buddy, Burnout, were supposed to be tracking down Zartan and claiming the bounty on his head, not riding with his flunkies against a bunch of A-list superheroes. That just ain't our scene!

So the cops lock us up, and before we can straighten out our story with them, what do you think happens? The very guy I was hunting breaks us outta jail! Is that nuts or what? We go along with him, figure on still getting a piece of that bounty, but hell, do I come to regret it, when some six-armed sword-goddess appears in our midst. I should've run like the rest of 'em, but I was stupid and went for a weapon instead. I learnt later that it was a test, and she was there specifically to grab those who chose fight over flight, so lucky ol' me gets beamed up to some weird dimension along with one of Zartan's Cobra robots and two genetically altered Cobra troopers who don't even look human any more, to fight in some twisted deathmatch tournament to be broadcast on the interdimensional airwaves by a big fat yellow blob who calls himself Mojo. Hell, that really ticked me off.

The six-armed sword-chick was kind enough to go back and fetch me my chopper and my other stuff from Earth, so that I could show 'em what I could do. But I was stuck there, and the opposition looked pretty mean.

When I saw there were sixteen of us, I figured the idea was to pit us against each other one-on-one, whittling us down to eight, then four, then two in the grand final. But no, it seems that had been done before. Mojo's plan was to team us up in pairs, the aim of each round being to keep both you and your partner alive, or else the survivor risks being outnumbered two-to-one in the next round. That was cool, it meant I only had to win three fights to get out of this hellhole. But who would I be paired up with?

The day before the first round of fighting, I learnt that my partner was to be Ghoarg, a giant alien vampire bat thing, or 'Drakillar', possibly the scariest-looking dude in the whole line-up. I liked the way some of the other guys' faces fell when they missed out on getting him. I felt that with Ghoarg on my side, I stood a decent chance of making it home in one piece.

Then, the next morning, Mojo's guy, Major Domo, comes to me and tells me that Ghoarg has been sent home to Halfworld, wherever that is, and I've been assigned a replacement partner.

I almost spat out my breakfast prune juice when I saw who had replaced the dread Drakillar - a little girl wearing a few bits of metal. Sad to say, I reckon I was almost old enough to be her grandfather. And needless to say, my heart sank. I almost felt like crying. Where was my pal, Ghoarg?

She patted me on the shoulder and said, "There, there, don't fret." She said her name was Dani. She said she'd done this kind of thing before, and she said she had a plan.

TO BE CONTINUED

[Grand Moff Muffin]

THE MAD MARVEL UK MASH-UP: DEADLIER GAMES

PART 3

I asked her if she had superpowers. She said no.

Her story didn't make much sense to me. According to her, she once shot a rabbit, and the rabbit bore her a grudge because she'd made it look bad, and it followed her until it spied a chance to shoot her when she wasn't looking, which it did. And it was a mercenary rabbit, so rather than kill her, it looked around to see who might pay the most money for her, and it heard about Mojo's tournament, which, she claimed, was in competition with a rival tournament that she'd won, or at least survived, a month earlier. Which, she said, made her something of a celebrity in certain circles. Anyway, the rabbit reckoned Mojo would want her in the tournament, and figured out how to contact Mojoworld. And it turned out the rabbit was right. The rabbit went away loaded with cash, Ghoarg went home to his family, and Mojo reckoned on doubling his projected audience figures.

Like I said, it didn't make much sense to me.

I said to her that what she'd just told me didn't sound like the sort of thing that happened to a person with a plan. She laughed and said I was absolutely right.

The plan kicked in, she said, after the rabbit had gone. Oh, all right, if you insist, she didn't call it a rabbit, she called it a Black Bunny Assassin, but I'm damned if I'm going to call it that. Anyway, she said she'd threatened to go on strike, and refuse to fight. Mojo didn't like that one little bit - he felt his audience figures melting away - but she stood her ground. She told him she didn't care what he did to her, she wasn't going to co-operate, and let's see what your public makes of it. He asked her what it would take to get her to play the game. She said, not a lot. Her condition was simply that she be allowed to see the line-up of contestants and the fight schedule for round one, and choose who to replace. He readily agreed.

I found myself grinding my teeth at this piece of news. So she was the one who deprived me of my Ghoarg! Unbelievably, she said I should be grateful. By her reckoning, the Drakillar would have gone down in the first round. I said, if she wanted my gratitude, she should have chosen to replace me, so that I would be the one who got sent home! She laughed again and said no, that wouldn't have been a very sensible move on her part. I asked her why, and instead of answering she walked over to my chopper and started rummaging through my bags. Before I could stop her, she had pulled out my most precious possession - my set of jammers.

TO BE CONCLUDED

[Grand Moff Muffin]

THE MAD MARVEL UK MASH-UP: DEADLIER GAMES

CONCLUSION

I told her she didn't look like someone who'd been in many fights. She said there was a difference between looking like you've been in a lot of fights and looking like you've lost a lot of fights... and that if she'd wanted to select a partner based on looks, she'd have picked Cloud or Hachiman. I had no answer to that.
___

In round one, Cloud and Recorder 874 fought B.A.A.T. and Electro. As Dani had confidently predicted, the androids were both terminated in the first few seconds of battle, before they could fire a single shot at the enemy, thanks to the lightning bolts discharged by the other two combatants. This left Cloud and Electro to pelt each other with high-voltage electricity until one of them succumbed. It appeared to be a stand-off, and Mojo began to worry that the audience might get bored and change the channel, but then Cloud saturated Electro with water vapour, and, before he realised the danger he was in, he was soaked to the skin, and a vicious lightning strike from Cloud put him down for the count.

The Sharkticon Micromaster, Gnecksnapper, chewed the head off the Monstro-Viper, while his partner, Lobotomaxx, emptied his laser sub-machine gun into the valiant Hachiman, who was able to block the first two bolts but not the next sixteen. Meanwhile, the Stinger from Third Earth managed to kill Lizzor, the evil mutant from Plun-darr, and Hooligan Jr shrugged off the firepower of the Berserker, Cannon Blaster, and smashed the cyborg with his spiked mace.

Me and Dani were up against the Bio-Viper and an Autobot called Hopper. We had planned our strategy for this match, and I knew I could fulfil my part of the plan - I only had doubts about whether she could survive hers. I announced to the Autobot in a loud voice that I would take his head off. He sprang towards me in his mechanical frog form, spouting some characteristic guff about not wanting to hurt humans, while I rode at him at full speed on my chopper. I whacked him with my flail, causing him to transform to his upright form, at which point I activated my jammer. He toppled over and lay there awkwardly on his back, unable to move. I dismounted and rushed to his side, telling him once again, very insistently, that I was going to take his head off. He understood my meaning now, and when I hit him in the head with my flail, his head came off cleanly, almost as if its owner had voluntarily severed the connections between it and the rest of his body. The audience wouldn't have realised what had actually happened, mind, and I'm sure they enjoyed seeing me hold the head aloft as I took it to be my trophy.

Then I remembered my partner, and sought her out, to learn whether she was alive or dead. I found the girl writhing in the painful grip of the Bio-Viper's tentacles. She was putting up a spirited resistance, but its piranha teeth were only seconds away from sinking into her flesh when I pulled it off her, and together, with great effort, we succeeded in grappling it to the ground and cutting off the flow of blood to its brain. It took a good ten minutes to die. I don't know whether the audience stuck with us. If I'd been in their place, I'd have taken a coffee break at that point.
___

"It's all about permutations," she'd told me right at the start. I didn't know what that meant, but as it turned out I didn't get to use my jammers in round two, because the one remaining Transformer, Gnecksnapper, and his alien pal, were pitted not against us but against Hooligan Jr and the Stinger. And they lost. Unfortunately for us, if we made it to the final, both their opponents survived the battle without significant injury. But Gnecksnapper and Lobotomaxx were dead.

The two of us were up against Cloud in the semi-final, and while two-against-one sounds good, I didn't rate our chances. How were we supposed to fight a girl who could change into a thundercloud and strike us down with lightning bolts? Dani said, "Just leave this one to me," so I did. There wasn't much else I could do. And it turned out all right in the end. Seems Dani's metal costume was actually one of those Circuit-Breaker thingies. It was out of juice, thanks to the machinations of the rabbit, but all she needed was a few good jolts of electricity to power her up again. This was more like it! Now that my partner could fly and shoot her own lightning bolts, she could start pulling her weight in this tournament!

I stayed well out of it as the two girls chased each other around the sky. I think they were talking to each other as they fought, though the microphones couldn't pick up what they were saying. In the end, my partner won, or so it seemed, 'cos there was a big flash and Cloud vanished, supposedly destroyed. I dunno what really happened, whether Dani talked Cloud into losing, or into pretending to lose, or what. But Mojo and his audience seemed satisfied with the result.
___

The final round was the toughest. Hooligan Jr was bigger than me, and the Stinger from Third Earth was a nimble flyer. It was a toss-up as to which way it would go. I rode at Hooligan on my bike, just as I had done with Hopper, and he waited for me to come on. I dodged the swing of his mace and shattered his kneecap with my flail, causing him to howl with pain for the first time in the tournament. I got cocky and came back for another pass, and he threw his mace, taking my chopper out from under me and sending me sprawling on my back. That landing really hurt. The alien bore down on me, ready to tear me apart with his massive hands. Suddenly, she was there, coming to my rescue when I needed it most, blasting Hooligan with all the energy in her Circuit-Breaker suit, a more-than-lethal dose. But by saving me, she had left herself exposed to our other foe, and the Stinger took its chance to strike her down. She cried out and sank to the arena floor. With the last of my strength, I picked up Hooligan's mace and hurled it at the Stinger.
___

And so, here I am, thanks to her. And I'm mightily relieved to hear you say she'll make a speedy recovery, on account of the electromagnetic field generated by her suit takin' the brunt of the alien creature's sting. Here's the Autobot's head, as promised. He's a talkative fella, even without a body, though of course he played dead until after Mojo returned us to Earth, as did Cloud, who explained to me that she kept her molecules dispersed so as to appear invisible until it was safe to coalesce once more. She said she'd come along to see you before returning to outer space, just as soon as she's found some clothes to wear. I gather she's an old friend of yours, Valkyrie.

And that's my story. At 58, I'm really too old for all this hoo-ha, but I've still got to pay the bills, and I was just wondering... I see you have no-one stationed on security detail in your ground floor lobby, and I know you've had some trouble recently with biker gangs. I don't suppose you'd have an opening for an ex-bounty-hunter, looking for a desk job, who's got a knack for keeping undesirables away, to look after this place for you when you're out and about, avenging and defending and whatever else it is you do around here?

No need to answer right away, but if need be I can point you to a few people who might be willing to provide references...
___

Round 1:
Cloud beats B.A.A.T. and Electro but loses Recorder 874.
Dani Dareheart and Randy 'Roadhog' Horton beat Hopper and the Bio-Viper.
Gnecksnapper and Lobotomaxx beat Hachiman and the Monstro-Viper.
Hooligan Jr and the Stinger beat Cannon Blaster and Lizzor.

Round 2:
Dani Dareheart and Randy 'Roadhog' Horton beat Cloud.
Hooligan Jr and the Stinger beat Gnecksnapper and Lobotomaxx.

Round 3:
Dani Dareheart and Randy 'Roadhog' Horton beat Hooligan Jr and the Stinger.

THE END

[Grand Moff Muffin]

Over 200 characters referred to in The Mad Marvel UK Mash-Up and War of the Skull:

Aerialbots:

www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Air_Raid
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Fireflight
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Silverbolt
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Skydive
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Slingshot
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Superion

Asgardians:

marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Brunnhilde_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Fandral_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Hogun_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Sif_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Thor_Odinson_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Volstagg_(Earth-616)

Berserkers:

thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Cannon_Blaster
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Cruncher
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Hammerhand
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Quickjaws
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Ram_Bam
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Top_Spinner

Cobra androids:

www.yojoe.com/action/86/bat.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/93/cobrabaat.shtml

Cobra Mega Monsters:

www.yojoe.com/action/93/bioviper.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/93/monstroviper.shtml

Dreadnoks:

www.yojoe.com/action/85/buzzer.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/89/gnawgahyde.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/86/monkeywrench.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/85/ripper.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/88/roadpig.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/86/thrasher.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/85/torch.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/86/zandar.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/87/zanzibar.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/86/zarana.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/84/zartan.shtml

Fantastic Four:

marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Benjamin_Grimm_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Jonathan_Storm_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Reed_Richards_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Susan_Storm_(Earth-616)

Inhumanoids:

inhumanoids.wikia.com/wiki/D%27Compose
inhumanoids.wikia.com/wiki/Gagoyle
inhumanoids.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Inhumanoids
inhumanoids.wikia.com/wiki/Metlar
inhumanoids.wikia.com/wiki/Sslither
inhumanoids.wikia.com/wiki/Tendril

Lunartix Empire:

www.yojoe.com/action/94/carcass.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/94/lobotomaxx.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/94/predacon.shtml

not to be confused with

Lunataks:

thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/Alluro
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/Amok
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/Chilla
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/Luna
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Red_Eye
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/Tug-Mug

Marvel supervillains:

marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Arno_Stark_(Earth-8410)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Emil_Blonsky_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Frankie_Raye_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Galan_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Heralds_of_Galactus_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Maxwell_Dillon_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/N%27Garai
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Nathaniel_Richards_(Kang)_(Earth-6311)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/S%27ym_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Sentinels_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Thanos_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Ultron_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Victor_Creed_(Earth-616)

Micromasters:

botchthecrab.com/archive/techspecs/decepticon/1989/ts_airwave.jpg
botchthecrab.com/archive/techspecs/autobot/1990/ts_astro_squad.jpg
botchthecrab.com/archive/techspecs/decepticon/1989/ts_greasepit.jpg
botchthecrab.com/archive/techspecs/decepticon/1990/ts_race_track_patrol.jpg
botchthecrab.com/archive/techspecs/decepticon/1989/ts_sports_car_patrol.jpg

Midnight Wreckers:

marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Brain_(Midnight_Wreckers)_(Earth-8410)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Hassle_(Midnight_Wreckers)_(Earth-8410)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Slick_(Midnight_Wreckers)_(Earth-8410)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Swift_(Midnight_Wreckers)_(Earth-8410)

Mojoverse characters:

marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Major_Domo_(Mojoverse)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Mojo_(Mojoverse)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Rita_Wayword_(Earth-616)

Neo-Knights:

tfwiki.net/wiki/Circuit_Breaker_(G1)
tfwiki.net/wiki/Dynamo
tfwiki.net/wiki/Rapture
tfwiki.net/wiki/Thunderpunch

Power Pack:

marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Alexander_Power_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Jack_Power_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Julie_Power_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Katherine_Power_(Earth-616)

Predacons:

www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Divebomb
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Headstrong
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Predaking
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Rampage
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Razorclaw
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Tantrum

Pretenders:

botchthecrab.com/archive/techspecs/autobot/1988/ts_gunrunner.jpg
botchthecrab.com/archive/techspecs/autobot/1989/ts_skyhammer.jpg

Protectobots:

www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Blades
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Defensor
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=First_Aid
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Groove
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Hot_Spot
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Streetwise

Quintessons:

tfwiki.net/wiki/Jolup
tfwiki.net/wiki/Kledji
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Quintessons

Road-Jammers:

tfwiki.net/wiki/Burn-Out
tfwiki.net/wiki/Felix
tfwiki.net/wiki/Randy_Horton
tfwiki.net/wiki/Skunge

Rocket Raccoon characters:

marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Blackjack_O%27Hare_(Earth-616)
www.marvunapp.com/Appendix4/drakillarhalfworld.htm
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Killer_Clowns_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Lylla_(Earth-616)
www.marvunapp.com/Appendix4/redbreath.htm
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Rocket_Raccoon_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Wal_Rus_(Earth-616)

Spacehikers:

tfwiki.net/wiki/Allan_Silver
tfwiki.net/wiki/Daisy
tfwiki.net/wiki/Jed_Lindley
tfwiki.net/wiki/Robin_Lindley_(G1)
tfwiki.net/wiki/Sammy_Wainwright

Thunderians:

thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Bengali
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Cheetara
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Grune_the_Destroyer
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Lion-O
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Lynx-O
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/Lynxana
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Panthro
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Pumyra
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Tygra
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Wilykat
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Wilykit

X-Men:

marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Charles_Xavier_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Elizabeth_Braddock_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Henry_McCoy_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Jean_Grey_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Lucas_Bishop_(Earth-1191)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Piotr_Rasputin_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Scott_Summers_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Warren_Worthington_III_(Earth-616)

Other G.I. Joe characters:

www.yojoe.com/action/subteams/battleforce2000.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/86/drmindbender.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/87/jinx.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/subteams/ninjaforcejoe.shtml
gijoe.wikia.com/wiki/Red_Shadows
www.yojoe.com/action/82/scarlett.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/82/snakeeyes.shtml
www.yojoe.com/action/84/stormshadow.shtml

Other Marvel characters:

marvel.wikia.com/wiki/A%27Lars_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Anthony_Stark_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Aragorn_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Bruce_Banner_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Cloud_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Daniel_Ketch_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Eros_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Franklin_Richards_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Greer_Grant_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Henry_Pym_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Illyana_Rasputina_(Earth-616)
marvelcinematicuniverse.wikia.com/wiki/J.A.R.V.I.S.
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Jocasta_Vi_Quit%C3%A9ria_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Lockheed_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Norrin_Radd_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Rigellian_Recorders
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Samuel_Wilson_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Stephen_Strange_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Vision_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Wanda_Maximoff_(Earth-616)
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/X-51_(Earth-616)

Other Thundercats characters:

thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Astral_Moat_Monster
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Captain_Cracker
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Captain_Shiner
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Driller
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Hachiman
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Jackalman
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Lizzor
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Ma-Mutt
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Mad_Bubbler
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Mongor
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Monkian
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Mumm-Ra
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/Nayda
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Ratar-O
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_S-S-Slithe
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Safari_Joe
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/Shadowmaster
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Snowman_of_Hook_Mountain
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/Snowmeow
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/Technopede
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_The_Stinger
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Tongue-A-Saurus
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Tuska_Warrior
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/Two_Time
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Vultureman

Other Transformers characters:

tfwiki.net/wiki/Alice
tfwiki.net/wiki/Big_Top
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Blast_Off
tfwiki.net/wiki/Centurion_(Marvel)
tfwiki.net/wiki/Cog
tfwiki.net/wiki/Frenzy_(Movie)
tfwiki.net/wiki/Gnaw_(G1)
tfwiki.net/wiki/Hooligan_(G1)
tfwiki.net/wiki/Hopper
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Jetfire
tfwiki.net/wiki/Last_Autobot
tfwiki.net/wiki/Mecannibal
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Metroplex
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Omega_Supreme
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Prowl
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Punch
tfwiki.net/wiki/Ravage_(ROTF)
tfwiki.net/wiki/Reedman
tfwiki.net/wiki/Scraplet
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Sharkticons
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Sideswipe
tfwiki.net/wiki/Spanner_(G1)
tfwiki.net/wiki/Spike_Witwicky_(G1)#Marvel_Comics_continuity
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Sunstreaker
botchthecrab.com/archive/techspecs/decepticon/action_masters/europe/ts_thundercracker.jpg
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Trypticon
www.ntfa.net/universe/english/index.php?act=view&char=Windcharger

Vehicles:

tfwiki.net/wiki/Cosmic_Carnival
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Fist_Pounder
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Nosediver
marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Quinjet
gijoe.wikia.com/wiki/Roboskull
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Skycutter
thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Thunderstrike

Martin

[Grand Moff Muffin]

WAR OF THE SKULL

or

CRITICAL CROSSOVER CRISIS

PART 1

In the year 1998, Reed Richards sent the time-travelling X-Man called Bishop forward twenty years in pursuit of the fiend from the future, Kang the Conqueror, whose latest plot consisted of gathering mutant-hunting Sentinel robots from up and down the timeline to use in his vendetta against Earth's heroes. Bishop never returned from his mission... but he arrived right on schedule in the year 2018, popping into existence in the Fantastic Four's old Baxter Building home and startling a napping Ben Grimm. Ben had forgotten all about Bishop, who had to remind the Thing who he was to avoid a summary clobbering by the retired superhero.

"Where's Kang?" demanded Bishop, guns at the ready.

"Beats me, pal," said the Thing. "Haven't heard a peep outta him in over a decade. Your best bet is to ask at Avengers Tower. The boys and girls based there are pretty much the only active super-team in New York these days. Lemme go fetch my buggy an' I'll run you on over."

Randolph Horton, the Avengers' security-guard-on-probation, was wise enough not to attempt to get tough with the two visitors, one of whom was known to him and every other New Yorker, and he buzzed them in and sent them on up to the rest area on the second floor, where Franklin was entertaining his old friends, the Powers. Though the Power Pack had broken up decades earlier, and Alex, Julie, Jack and Katie had aged at a more conventional rate than Franklin, they still considered him one of their family, and they had all done stints as Avengers in the last twenty years, though no more than two of them at any one time. Ben Grimm knew them all well and they immediately made him welcome, and did their best to put his sombre companion at ease.

The Thunderian medic, Pumyra, was up on the sixth floor, tending to the relatively minor injuries sustained in recent battles by the ninja, Hush Job, and the Space Marine, Lieutenant Santella, along with the much more serious long-term injuries of her fellow survivor, Bengali. Pumyra was aided in her ministrations by the elderly Thunderian, Lynx-O. Illyana Rasputin and Lockheed were closeted away in the Sorceress's Sanctum Sanctorum, and all the other Avengers and Avengers-in-training were out on various errands.

JARVIS confirmed that no temporal incursions had been reported by the Cameron Space Control intelligence network, so Bishop found he was at a dead end. When he felt it was polite to do so, he made his apologies and left, his intention being to head over to the Xavier Institute where he understood Colossus, Rapture and the Beast were still in residence, overseeing a new generation of mutant students.
___

Just as nothing much at all was happening on Earth, an awful lot of something was happening in an obscure corner of the sector of the Galaxy ostensibly under the protection of the Avengers and Cameron Space Control.

On an unremarkable-looking little moon with a number instead of a name, a power generator exploded. Then the backup power generator exploded, and the force-fields confining some of the most dangerous entities in the Galaxy went down.

One of them went, "SCREEEEEEEE!"

Another went, "RRARGHH!"

The first was a giant undead creature with a dinosaur-like head and exposed ribcage.

The second was a towering green tentacled monster.

The name of the first was D'Compose.

The second was called Tendril.

The prison moon's Wakandan Commander Kolaka scrambled into his Robot-Buster exo-suit before the life-support systems failed completely, while the Autobot vehicles, Gasket and Grommet, Matrixed in 2015 by Jacko Witwicky as a favour to his uncle, Spike, combined to form the robot called Cog.

Kolaka and Cog stood outside the facility, watching Tendril's arms rip the walls down as if they were made of tin foil, and attempted to fathom what could have destroyed their power systems, which had been designed with numerous fail-safes precisely to prevent this sort of thing from ever occurring.

A shadow fell across them as an enormous spaceship blotted out the light from the gas giant they were orbiting.

An enormous red spaceship shaped like a humanoid skull.

"Identification?" Kolaka asked his Autobot friend.

"Action Force records flag its configuration as belonging to the Roboskull, a vessel created by an early prototype terrorist organisation linked to Cobra, the Red Shadows. But the Roboskull of 35 years ago was a one-man fighter. This thing is a mile long."

The ship turned its skeletal face towards the moon's surface, and beams of light shone down, illuminating the freed Inhumanoids and their human and Autobot former captors.

TO BE CONTINUED

[Grand Moff Muffin]

WAR OF THE SKULL

or

CRITICAL CROSSOVER CRISIS

PART 2

Hurtling through the gulf of interstellar space somewhere between the sector of the Galaxy containing the human worlds of Cameron, Earth and Nebulos, and the sector containing the robot worlds of Elpasos, Junk and Lithone, not far now from Scarvix and the Grand Central Space Station, was the ancient planet known as Cybertron, homeworld of the Transformers.

Large parts of the giant metal world, restored by the Last Autobot in 1991, remained unoccupied, there simply not being enough Autobots and Decepticons left to claim and hold the entire planet. The population of Autobot City: Iacon consisted of at most a hundred Autobots and over three hundred non-aligned Cybertronians, with another fifty or so Autobots manning the mobile fort formed from the Action Masters' Armoured Convoy and the Micromasters' Battlefield Headquarters.

Around sixty Decepticons remained alive on Cybertron, founding their own city in Kalis, and they now had various co-operation agreements in place with both the Autobots and, somewhat to their surprise, the humans, who had found them useful allies in recent battles with other hostile forces. One of those hostile forces, the Quintessons, whose homeworld was dying, had claimed Tarn and the western shores of the Rust Sea, while the cosmpolitan Cosmic Carnival lay on the Terbium Plains, where ships from across the Galaxy could land and take off without interference from any of the more established powers.

Jolup, commander of the Quintessons' military forces, was leading a patrol of guards into the unsecured western districts of Tarn in response to a report of an unidentified flying object crossing the city's radar screens the previous night. As his small reconnaissance party ventured into unexplored territory, he stumbled across the landing site of the fearsome Roboskull, and learnt first-hand, and to his everlasting regret, who it was who controlled it.
___

Although the surface gravity, temperature and atmosphere were tolerable to most oxygen-breathing life-forms, the lack of vegetation and sunlight made Cybertron an unattractive prospect for permanent habitation by carbon-based species, and the air quality was not great, which was why the Cosmic Carnival maintained its own, filtered, internal atmosphere. However, Cybertron was ideal as a temporary refuge for desperate races with nowhere else to go, and it therefore made sense that the evil Thunderian wizard known as the Shadowmaster, freed from the Shadow Realm by Mumm-Ra shortly before his death at the hands of Earth's Sorceress Supreme, would lead the surviving warships of the Reptilians and Monkians to Cybertron, where they fortified a deserted mine on the slopes of the Manganese Mountains and made the area their base of operations, or at least a place where they could lick their wounds and plan their next move. In the following days, they were joined by other survivors of Mumm-Ra's aborted invasion of Earth, including the Mad Bubbler and Hammerhand's Berserkers, and entered into a non-aggression pact with a group of Mecannibals who were camping out nearby.

But they had been there for little over a week when their peace was shattered by the arrival of the moon-eclipsing Roboskull.

TO BE CONTINUED

[Grand Moff Muffin]

WAR OF THE SKULL

or

CRITICAL CROSSOVER CRISIS

PART 3

The Master of the Roboskull had recruited two guides in this brave new universe. The first of these was Arno Stark, alleged relative of Tony Stark and confirmed fugitive from justice, following his failure to wrest control of Stark Interstellar from the Stark Legacy Foundation and subsequent theft of the last Iron Man suit from Avengers Tower - a suit he now wore at all times, as the Iron Man of 2018.

Arno had disappointed the Master by promising him five Inhumanoids, only learning afterwards that Gagoyle, Metlar and Sslither had been killed in their final battle with the Earth Corps, and that only D'Compose and Tendril had survived to be imprisoned by Cameron Space Control. However, he had redeemed himself with a show of force on the slopes of the Manganese Mountains, and as he waded through the remains of Hammerhand's Berserkers and dumped the corpse of the Mad Bubbler at the Master's feet, he knew he was back in favour.

The Master's other guide in this universe was, of course, Kang the Conqueror, who had arrived in 2018 not long before Bishop but promptly abandoned his Sentinels plan when he realised that (a) there were no Sentinels in this future, and (b) a far more interesting opportunity was about to present itself.

Kang had warned his supposed new 'Master' off a direct invasion of Earth or any of its close allies. Mumm-Ra had shown such a venture to be folly, what with their being under the protection of the Sorceress Supreme and the Asgardians, never mind all those Autobots and superpowered mutants. However, there were, he said, other options for building up a power base and becoming the dominant force in this Galaxy, and establishing a foothold on Cybertron was a relatively low-risk first step along that road, provided they steered clear of Metroplex. So, after securing the two remaining Inhumanoids and a couple of Autobot and human prisoners into the bargain, the Roboskull headed for the Transformers' homeworld and landed close to Quintesson City. A patrol observed the ship's arrival and was duly eliminated, except for its commanding officer, Jolup, who joined Cog and Kolaka in the Roboskull's ample cells.

The Roboskull then tracked the Reptilian and Monkian survivors to the Manganese Mountains, and Arno Stark made short work of the expendable lackeys sent out by the Shadowmaster to test the intruders' mettle.

Now the battalions of Reptilians and Monkians serving the Shadowmaster had trooped out onto the mountainside to challenge the invaders, and found themselves facing equal numbers of turquoise-skinned amphibian humanoids and red-furred ape-like creatures from the Roboskull. The Master favoured unleashing the Inhumanoids on the opposition, or possibly showing them what his ship's weapons could do, but Kang tactfully suggested that a more profitable course would be simply to eliminate their leader, leaving only followers who would then surely fall into line and provide a valuable boost to their growing army.

So, a call went out from the Master's own magician, challenging the Shadowmaster to single combat, the winner to take possession of the loser's legions.

It was the last thing the Shadowmaster wanted, but all his followers had heard the challenge, so he had no choice. If he refused, they would turn on him and kill him anyway. Kang and the Master knew this. They also knew that if the Roboskull's magician failed, they could always fall back on the ship's firepower and the two Inhumanoids.

Within half an hour, the Shadowmaster was dead, and the Roboskull was in full control of the slopes of the Manganese Mountains. The Master's first command to his new Reptilian and Monkian forces was to take their ships and raid the Cosmic Carnival for food and other supplies. Water, they did not require, as the caves beneath the mountainside contained a plentiful quantity in an underground reservoir, making them ideal for the Roboskull's amphibious regiments.

The Master's second command was for his followers to carve his face on the side of the mountain.
___

Days later, with the base on Cybertron established, the Roboskull was back in space once more, now supported by Reptilian and Monkian warships, which eagerly led their new Master to a largely uninhabited world where the few surviving refugees from Third Earth, former allies of the hated Thunderians, had established a colony. The Roboskull wiped out the fledgling settlement and took a handful of captives - Snowmeow, a sabre-toothed cat formerly allied to the noble Snowman of Hook Mountain, Torca the Tuska, and Nayda, the last of Third Earth's Warrior Maidens. The rest, they killed.

The Master employed his Reptilian and Monkian warships to establish a supply line between this resource-rich planet and his mountain stronghold on Cybertron.

On the return trip, the Roboskull encountered a small cloud of Scraplets in hyperspace. Kang advised that they might come in handy against the Transformers, so they made an effort and succeeded in establishing a simple dialogue with their combined intelligence, the end result being that a semi-sentient entity formed from Scraplets, approximately seven feet in height, was added to the mighty ship's crew.

They named this shape-shifting gestalt 'Scraplor'.

TO BE CONTINUED

[Grand Moff Muffin]

WAR OF THE SKULL

or

CRITICAL CROSSOVER CRISIS

PART 4

"Sub-Lieutenant 'Flashpoint' Vazon reporting for duty, Commander Kolaka."

"What are you doing here, son?"

"My star-glider, the Stalwart, was tracking the Reptilian warships that survived the destruction of Mumm-Ra's invasion fleet. We followed them here, and I snuck into the caves to find out what they were up to."

"Mission authorised by your captain?"

"Er, not exactly. But I'm a Circuit-Breaker operative. I can take care of myself."

"Apparently not. Where's your suit?" The Wakandan pointed to the young Nebulan's waist, drawing attention to the complete absence of the distinctive metal belt that typically contained a male operative's Circuit-Breaker tech when it was not covering his arms and upper body.

"Same place as your Robot-Buster and the Autobot's weapons, I suppose. But don't worry, we're going to get them back."

"I admire you optimism, son, but we've been in these red cells for over a week now, and if there's a way to escape, we have yet to find it."

"They're going to let us out. The Master of the Roboskull intends to use his prisoners for entertainment purposes. They told me, he's going to pit his warriors against us in gladiatorial combat and make us fight to the death."

"Well, that's just terrific. You can count on the decks being stacked against us. I guess our temporary stay of execution has run out."

"Don't make the seating arrangements for our funerals just yet, sir. I'm a Circuit-Breaker, remember? We have a track record of beating the odds in situations such as this."

"What are you talking about, son?"

"Haven't you read the reports on Dani Dareheart's participation in the 2018 Galaxy Kombat tournament on Derut Four and the Slaughter Arena tournament on Mojoverse Battle Station Zero? She totally nailed those suckers. And if she can do it, so can I."

Kolaka shook his head. "How long have you been a full Space Marine, Sub-Lieutenant?"

"Six weeks... I replaced Kelly Carter, who died in the attack on the planet Quintesson."

The Wakandan smiled sadly, and put his hand on Vazon's shoulder. There were a lot of things he could say to try to put the boy's head straight, but what would that achieve? In the end, he simply said, "You'll do fine, son," and returned to his bunk.
___

In the first round of gladiatorial contests at Skull Mountain on the planet Cybertron, the Inhumanoid D'Compose decomposed Snowmeow, turning the heroic cat into an undead monster. Arno Stark, the Iron Man of 2018, flew rings around the Autobot, Cog, blasting him into component parts by striking his joints with super-accurate repulsor blasts. And the naive young Circuit-Breaker, 'Flashpoint' Vazon, found his costume infected by Scraplets, so that he could barely levitate ten feet off the ground and deliver a feeble electric blast to the Inhumanoid Tendril before the big green monster crushed him with its tentacles.

Despite these losses, Nayda, the last surviving Warrior Maiden from the planet Third Earth, out-fought the muscular, blue-skinned robot sent against her, decapitating it with its own sword, while Commander Kolaka, in his Robot-Buster exo-suit, succeeded in destroying the Quintesson General Jolup with a focused plasma blast, and Torca the Tuska snapped the neck of Ree-Chiree, a vicious samurai chimpanzee from Halfworld in the Keystone Quadrant.

In the second round, D'Compose decomposed Torca, and pitted his two undead servants against one another for the Master's amusement, until both were no more. Arno Stark teamed up with Tendril to finish off Commander Kolaka, whose exo-suit had been damaged in round one. And Nayda found that her first round opponent, the blue-skinned android, had, unlike Kolaka's exo-suit, been fully repaired during the interval, and was now one of a team, coming at her alongside a steel-jawed cyborg with a laser cannon in place of his right arm, and the Master's chief magician, a female humanoid wielding a spell-weaving staff.

The Master, watching from on high with Kang the Conqueror at his side, applauded his warriors' victories. Fair play counted for nothing in his hollow eyes.

TO BE CONCLUDED

[Grand Moff Muffin]

WAR OF THE SKULL

or

CRITICAL CROSSOVER CRISIS

CONCLUSION

Although Ree-Chiree had not fared well against the last Tuska Warrior, he had piqued sufficient curiosity to result in the Roboskull taking its recruiting drive to Halfworld in the Keystone Quadrant, from which it returned in a matter of days, not only with a phalanx of samurai chimpanzees, but also with a squadron of killer clowns on vacu-sleds, half a dozen Drakillars and a Red Breath.

These new forces, added to Arno Stark, Kang the Conqueror, Scraplor, the two Inhumanoids, the battalions of Reptilians and Monkians from the planet Plun-darr, the troops the Master had brought with him upon his first arrival in this universe, and the awesome Roboskull itself, were considered more than sufficient for them to move on to the next phase of their grand plan for Galactic domination.
___

The humans and the Transformers did not participate in the 2018 War of the Skull. Rather, it was fought between the armies based at Skull Mountain and the garrison from the non-aligned robot world of Elpasos that currently held the former Decepticon city-state of Polyhex.

Polyhex was where the source of the Smelting Pool was located, and the Master of the Roboskull, otherwise known as Skeletor, wanted control of it. He mustered his armies of turquoise-skinned amphibian humanoids and red-furred ape-like creatures - which we shall now refer to by their correct names of Mer-Men and Beast Men - and ordered his chief magician, the sorceress Evil-Lyn, who had vanquished the Shadowmaster on the slopes of the Manganese Mountains, to mount the feline Panthor and lead them and the samurai chimpanzees before the walls of Polyhex in an attempt to draw out their foes.

Meanwhile, the blue-skinned android and the steel-jawed cyborg with a laser cannon in place of his right arm, who both fought in the recent gladiatorial contests and who we will now name as Faker and Trap Jaw, together with their comrades, Clawful, Jitsu, Kobra Khan, Spikor, Stinkor, Tri-Klops, Two Bad, Webstor and Whiplash, would enter the city via the Autobot Resistance's old network of sewer tunnels at the head of a column of Reptilians, to strike at the robots from Elpasos from an unexpected direction.

Kang the Conqueror had boasted of his skills as a general, and Skeletor decided to put them to the test, instructing him to fly above the battle on the back of the barbarian bird, Screeech, and co-ordinate the forces on the ground.

Skeletor would observe their progress from his throne on the bridge of the Roboskull, ready to intervene alongside the Inhumanoids if need be, though Kang had assured him this would not be necessary, and Skeletor intended to hold him to that promise.

Arno Stark was left in command of the Monkians, killer clowns and Drakillars, their duty being to protect Skull Mountain and the assortment of combat vehicles (Fist Pounders, Fright Fighters, Land Sharks, Nosedivers, Rotons, Skycutters and Spydors) that were being secretly held in reserve, within its caverns.

Fortunately for Kang, the invasion of Polyhex went according to plan, and in less than a day the city fell. Skeletor magnanimously accepted the surviving robots into his growing empire. Notable additions welcomed into the Army of the Skull that day were a mechanical spy called Phr'nzee who fired serrated compact discs with deadly accuracy, a human impersonator called Alys, a one-eyed robot cat-monster called Rhavige and a trio of Reedmen.

As the dust settled and the year 2018 drew to a close, the Autobot, Decepticon and Quintesson City Commanders - Prowl, Trypticon and Kledji - came to the belated realisation that the balance of power on the planet Cybertron had shifted and a new tactical appraisal of the situation was urgently called for.

THE END - FOR NOW

FACT-FILE INTERFACE

THE AVENGERS

The Avengers' core members at the end of 2018 number as follows:

Brunnhilde the Valkyrie - Asgardian, former Defender, wielder of the enchanted sword Dragonfang
Daniel 'Laserblade' O'Hara - tech-ninja, son of Scarlett and Snake-Eyes, student of Storm Shadow
Eros, a.k.a. Starfox - Titan, son of Mentor, brother of Thanos
Franklin 'Tattletale' Richards - mutant, son of Reed and Sue Richards, nephew of Johnny Storm
Illyana Rasputin, Sorceress Supreme - mutant, sister of Colossus, student of Dr Strange
Swift - martial-artist, sometimes associated with the vigilante group, the Midnight Wreckers
The Vision - synthezoid, creation of Ultron, former husband of the Scarlet Witch

The following are also residents of Avengers Tower in New York at this time:

Aragorn - Asgardian winged horse, companion to Brunnhilde the Valkyrie
Bengali - Thunderian blacksmith and mechanic, cousin of Tygra, wielder of the Hammer of Thundera
Cloud - sentient nebula, able to take human form, former Defender
Hopper - Autobot warrior, currently undergoing reconstruction
Hush Job - silent ninja, student of Storm Shadow, Avenger-in-training
Lockheed - Flock dragon, former Avenger, companion to Illyana Rasputin
Lynx-O - Thunderian elder, blinded when escaping the destruction of his homeworld
Pumyra - Thunderian medic, martial-artist and gymnast, Avenger-in-training
Randolph 'Roadhog' Horton - former Road-Jammer, the Avengers' security guard and occasional cook
Styletta - ninja, daughter of Jinx, student of Storm Shadow, Avenger-in-training
Thundakat, formerly Wilykat - Thunderian acrobat, brother of Wildkitten, Avenger-in-training
Wildkitten, formerly Wilykit - Thunderian martial-artist and gymnast, Avenger-in-training

Among the allies that the Avengers can call upon in time of need to defend the Earth are the Asgardians, who include Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three (Fandral the Dashing, Hogun the Grim and Volstagg the Voluminous), the former X-Men (Bishop, Colossus, Rapture and the Beast), Swift's fellow Midnight Wreckers (Brain, Hassle and Slick), the Cameron Space Marines, the Silver Surfer, and the Earthen Autobots led by Jetfire, who include the Aerialbots, the Protectobots, Omega Supreme and the Space Bridge, Spanner.

Avengers Tower is operated by the JARVIS A.I. and is nine storeys high, at least from the outside. The building's interior is laid out as follows:

Basement - Danger Room training suite
Ground floor - entrance lobby, Roadhog's quarters, garage containing Roadhog's motorbike
First floor - staging area, storage, Aragorn's stables
Second floor - rest area, recreational facilities
Third floor - dining room, kitchens
Fourth floor - conference chamber, small meeting rooms and offices, infirmary
Fifth floor - engineering level, apartments (Bengali, the Vision)
Sixth floor - apartments (Eros, Hush Job, Laserblade, Lynx-O, Tattletale, Thundakat)
Seventh floor - apartments (Brunnhilde, Cloud, Pumyra, Styletta, Swift, Wildkitten)
Eighth floor - Quinjet and Thunderstrike hangar bays
Ninth floor - Illyana's quarters, access to roof helipad and, sometimes, the Sanctum Sanctorum

Mystical artefacts held safe within Avengers Tower (most of them in the impenetrable Sanctum Sanctorum) include:

Bengali's Hammer of Thundera
Brunnhilde's sword, Dragonfang
Illyana's Soulsword
Lynx-O's Braille Board
The Book of Omens
The Book of the Vishanti
The Cloak of Levitation
The Eye of Agamotto
The Eye of Thundera
The Orb of Agamotto
The Sword of Omens
The Sword of Plun-darr
The Wand of Watoomb

FILE ENDS

INHUMANOIDS CHARACTERS AT LARGE AT THE END OF 2018

D'Compose - inhumanoids.wikia.com/wiki/D%27Compose
Tendril - inhumanoids.wikia.com/wiki/Tendril

MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE CHARACTERS AND VEHICLES AT LARGE AT THE END OF 2018

Beast Man - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=512
Clawful - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=1248
Evil-Lyn - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=548
Faker - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=545
Fright Fighter - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=1437
Jitsu - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=572
Kobra Khan - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=1094
Land Shark - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=1434
Mer-Man - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=511
Panthor - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=556
Roton - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=1431
Screeech - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=555
Skeletor - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=862
Spikor - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=1257
Spydor - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=1433
Stinkor - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=1256
Trap Jaw - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=547
Tri-Klops - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=546
Two Bad - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=1255
Webstor - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=1244
Whiplash - www.he-man.org/collecting/toy.php?id=573

THUNDERCATS CHARACTERS AND VEHICLES AT LARGE AT THE END OF 2018

Bengali - thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Bengali
Fist Pounder - thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Fist_Pounder
Lynx-O - thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Lynx-O
Nosediver - thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Nosediver
Pumyra - thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Pumyra
Skycutter - thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Skycutter
Thunkakat - thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Wilykat
Thunderstrike - thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Thunderstrike
Wildkitten - thundercats.wikia.com/wiki/LJN_Toyline:_Wilykit

[Grand Moff Muffin]

THE LEGACY OF RODIMUS PRIME

December 2018, the planet of Junk.

"What news from Cybertron, Kup?"

"It's a crazy place these days, lad, a crazy place. Makes this planet look positively sane. Used to be you knew where you were - just us, the Decepticons and a few neutrals playing the great game of kill-or-be-killed. But now we're sharing the place with twenty or thirty other species, it don't feel like home any more, to some of us true Cybertronians."

"Come on, Kup, we're at peace now, and Cybertron's too big for the surviving Transformers to expect to live on it all by themselves."

"Peace? Yeah, we got peace with the few remaining 'Cons, sure, but there's plenty of new hostiles waiting to take their place. We got Quintessons in Tarn, and Sharkticons in the Rust Sea. We got a big red Roboskull hovering over Polyhex and our old digs in the Manganese Mountains. We got 'Robo Machine Puzzler Fiends' in Helex. We got Terrakors from the planet Skalorr moving into the slag swamps, now that Gutcruncher's no longer holding that sector. We got the Cosmic Carnival parked out on the Terbium Plains. And we got a Zoid who calls himself 'Krark, Prince of Darkness' reported to be messing about with Sixshot's old Firecon mass-production lines in Vos. Believe me, old Xaaron - I mean, Thunderclash Prime - has his hands full like never before."

"'Old' Xaaron? Heh! With his new name and body, no-one thinks of him as old any more. You might want to think about following his lead and getting an upgrade one of these days, old-timer. But what would we call you? Kupgrade? The Kuptain? Kuperion Prime? Seems you don't have to hold the Creation Matrix to be named a Prime these days..."

"Xaaron may not have the Matrix, but he used the Matrix Flame to give life to Ultra Magnus and the Autobot Triple Changers, and he woke Primus in time to save Cybertron from Unicron. I think he deserves the title. Besides, the Creation Matrix only seems to like living in humans nowadays."

"Perhaps it's for the best. You can complain about the other robot races claiming pieces of Cybertron, but I don't see how they can make a bigger mess of things than we and the 'Cons did when we were calling the shots. Galaxy's probably better off without a new generation of Transformers running roughshod over everything."

"Save your philosophising for the Junkions, lad. Speaking of whom, where have Wreck-Gar and our other hosts scurried off to now?"

"They're watching Earth television broadcasts again - been at it solidly for the last three weeks. They're currently hooked on something called 'Kay Pop'. Blurr tried explaining it to me but ended up just confusing himself. Perceptor's trying to develop a scientific formula to make sense of it all. And Springer's off exploring the parts of this world that the Junkions have yet to show us. He wants to get a clearer picture of Junk's defensive and offensive capabilities."

"Ah, now, Springer, he's a 'bot after my own fuel-pump. I know you've been around longer than he has, but you could sure learn a thing or two from him about strategic planning."

"Really? I thought he got most of his old team killed."

"Don't believe everything you hear, lad, unless it comes from me."

"All right, then, oh wise mentor. Is it true that Springer actually met Rodimus Prime one time?"

"Still haven't asked him yourself, eh? What are you afraid of?"

"I dunno. He's so darned serious."

"Maybe that's what happens to you when you get most of your team killed."

"But you said-"

"Never mind what I said. You know he led the Wreckers when they got massacred by Megatron and Galvatron in the Time Wars."

"Galvatron... He's another guy like Rodimus Prime who I have trouble believing ever actually existed."

"Galvatron existed, believe me."

"Did you meet him?"

"Meet him? Nah. But I briefly saw him imprisoned in a stasis pod on the Ark in 1990, rendered temporarily harmless by his own mind-bug. And I think I caught a glimpse of him firing the first shot against Unicron the following year."

"But was he really who they say he was - a future version of Megatron? I met Megatron once, when I got captured on Cybertron in 1989 (not 1990, as the Junkions insist on believing) and once was quite enough."

"Dunno. Only time I met Megatron was when he got fused together with Ratchet. Didn't look like he had a great future ahead of him then, I can tell you. And then I saw what was left of him after Optimus and Grimlock did their thing together on Hydrus Four. If Galvatron got created out of Megatron, it must have been some other Megatron."

"And Rodimus Prime was some other Hot Rod?"

"I guess so. I mean, they say he came from twenty years in the future, but thirty years have passed now, and you're still you, aren't you?"

"I'm still me, and still at rank five and about two thirds of the way down the pecking order for leader of the Autobots. Heck with it, I'm the lowest-ranking Autobot on this screwy planet."

"You think you'd be happier if you were Rodimus Prime?"

"Maybe... Maybe not. I know so little about him."

"We know pretty much everything about him in this universe, lad. The guy only lived for two days - one day in 1987, and then another day in 1989. He popped into existence to have a scrap with Galvatron on Mount Verona the first time around - I know you've seen the video records logged by Ultra Magnus and Bumblebee. And then he vanished again, until he popped back into existence to take part in the Time Wars before disappearing for good. Can't say he had much success on either occasion. He left Galvatron behind in 1987 for Magnus to deal with, and then Optimus Prime had to step in and save him in 1989. You've done a lot more good in your time as Hot Rod than that guy ever did."

"I suppose."

"And no, I don't think Springer met him. He may have seen him from a distance during the Time Wars, but you'd be better off talking to Ironhide, Swoop or Wheeljack, who were actually present when they formed a brief alliance with the visitors from 2009."

"Which included you, apparently."

"Yeah, so I'm told. I've never been properly introduced to Ultra Magnus, but Springer knows him well, and according to Magnus, both you and I helped him fight Galvatron in 1986, and then I was there again with Rodimus Prime in 1987."

"And in 1989."

"Yeah. But Magnus wasn't there to testify to that. Or rather, he was, but that was a different Ultra Magnus."

"This makes my head hurt."

"You picked the subject, lad."

"And I'm sure regretting it. Like I said, I have trouble believing in any of this. I mean, travelling back in time. Do you ever wonder what that would be like?"

"Every time I see Robo Machines, Robotix and Zoids stomping around Cybertron like they own the place."

"Right. By the way, you never did tell me why they summoned you back to Iacon."

"I don't really want to talk about it. You remember the Tyroxians?"

"Of course."

"Well, they could be the next 'friendly' species to be welcomed to our homeworld. Optimus Prime said a few things before he went away, and, well, Xaaron and Prowl wanted to have a word with me about that... incident. Seems the Tyroxians don't recall things happening quite the way we do."

"That's ridiculous. You saved my life that day."

"I'm glad you see it that way. 'Cos you're next on the list of people they want to talk to about it."

THE END

[Grand Moff Muffin]

THE LEGACY OF GALVATRON

A family of four walked along the shore of a lake somewhere in North America, enjoying the outdoor air on a clear, crisp, winter day, when suddenly the tranquillity was shattered by a pair of sonic booms in quick succession, and the sky over the lake was transformed without warning into a warzone.

Jetfire, leader of the Earthen Autobot defence forces, flew in pursuit of Action Master Thundercracker. Jetfire's quarry rode his Solo Mission Jet Plane, which bore an uncanny resemblance to a purple F-117 Nighthawk, an Earthen aircraft traditionally piloted from inside the cockpit rather than by sitting astride it - a novel arrangement of passenger and vehicle that severely compromised its aerodynamics, though evidently still permitted it to break the sound barrier.

The two jets soared over the landscape at a criminally low altitude, skimming across treetops and dodging obstacles with death-defying accuracy. Action Master Thundercracker changed tactics, rapidly gaining altitude, before suddenly power-diving straight down, pulling up at the last second in the hope of sending his pursuer into a crash landing. Against almost any other flying Transformer, the trick would have surely succeeded, but Jetfire was skilled at such manoeuvres and took it in his stride.

They returned to the skies above the lake, the four humans staring up at them, attempting to follow the twists and turns of the epic dogfight. As they regained altitude, Jetfire engaged his scramjets, accelerating hard and striking Action Master Thundercracker a glancing blow, unseating him.

The non-Transformer plummeted from the sky, his Solo Mission Jet Plane responding to his predicament and following him down, too slowly to save him before he hit the ground. As it descended it transformed. Just before impact, the Action Master teleported, rematerialising inside his exo-suit, whose rocket thrusters brought him to a safe, if jarring, upright landing.

Jetfire landed alongside him. "Nice move," he said.

"The legacy of Skywarp," said Action Master Thundercracker, readying his sonic boom blaster.

Jetfire was waiting for his opponent to go for his gun, his right hand retracting and being replaced by an energy axe, which he used to slice the sonic boom blaster in two. "The legacy of Optimus Prime," he grinned, swinging it back with the intention of cutting through Action Master Thundercracker's exo-suit. The axe bounced off the armour, the kinetic energy of the blow reflected back against the axe-wielder, sending Jetfire sprawling on the ground. "What the-?" protested the Autobot.

"And that's the legacy of Galvatron," said Action Master Thundercracker.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"It's no lie. My body's made up of bits of Skywarp, Thundercracker and the Nucleon-soaked Starscream, but my exo-suit's duraflex outer metal construction is all crazed-alternate-future Megatron."

"Damn, that's insane, Thundercracker."

"Galvatron was insane. Recycling his body parts is just part of the humans' drive for a circular economy and a cleaner, greener future. And I'll thank you to call me by my proper name, Action Master Thundercracker."

"You don't like being called Thundercracker?"

"I'm a different guy. Like Lego Batman."

"Fair enough," said Jetfire, accepting his opponent's hand to help him up.

By this time, the human family had hurried over to check on them. "You all right, J.F.?"

"Fine, Buster, once I get some feeling back in my right arm."

Jessie was writing on an electronic notebook. "The results are consistent with previous trials. Action Master Thundercracker, you're definitely better suited to combat in a vacuum than within Earth's atmosphere, but you're no slouch at either. Between this and your performance fighting alongside the Avengers in October, I'm minded to recommend your full release from SHIELD duty and permanent reassignment to Cameron Space Control."

"Thank you, Dr Witwicky."

"My pleasure. It'll be good to know you're out there watching my daughter's back."

The humans' cars drove up under their own power. Buster's yellow Volkswagen and Jessie's silver Datsun transformed. Cerebros stayed in car mode, as Spike was not wearing his Headmaster armour, and as for Jacko's black Lotus, it hadn't had a robot head attached to it since the Decepticon Runabout had been captured by RAAT back in 1987. Jacko was still humming and hawing about whether or not to give it a new head and/or full sentience.

Action Master Thundercracker knelt down and placed his shattered sonic boom blaster on the ground in front of the humans.

"If you wouldn't mind...?"

Buster put a restraining hand on his son's shoulder. "Let me try first." He closed his eyes and concentrated, and the pieces moved slightly, but no more. He shook his head in frustration. "I can see it in my mind, but... no. It's all yours, pal."

Jacko looked at the broken weapon, and it separated into its smallest components before reassembling, knitting together until it was as good as new.

THE END

[Grand Moff Muffin]

THE LEGACY OF PRIMUS

December 2018, a nightmare world filled with flames. skulls and the wailing of damned souls.

He wants to stop. Leg muscles scream in agony as they are forced to the limits of endurance and beyond. Burning, oxygen-starved lungs beg release from their famine, but are denied by a sere throat constricted by stark, naked terror. He wants to stop, but to stop running means certain death!

The demon - a thirty-foot Cobra Battle Android Trooper - is coming for him - relentless, unstoppable - it never falters, never tires, it will not rest until it has him. He knows he cannot escape. But he... will not... give up! He has to run... and hide! He hopes his friends will find him... He hopes the Autobots will save him!

"Bluestreak! Bumblebee! Cerebros! It's right behind me... It's going to kill me! You've got to... save me?" Frozen like statues, they do not respond. "H-help... HELP MEEEE!" All hope is gone. Complete and utter despair washes over him, sweeping away the last straw he'd feverishly clung to... sweeping it away... burning it! Rending it! And crushing it underfoot!

No hope. No hope whatsoever. And yet... and yet... FRA-CHOOM! A beautiful young woman with dark hair, fair skin and living circuitry running two thirds of the way up her legs and arms and down her front from metal bands around her ankles, wrists and neck destroys the giant B.A.T. with a devastating lightning blast.

He has been rescued. He does not recognise his saviour, but the sight of Circuit-Breaker technology is enough to convince him he has nothing more to fear... He should have known better! A cybernetic humanoid dragonfly swoops down and impales the girl from behind with its deadly stinger. She cries out in shock and dismay. He watches, mesmerised as the alien monster moves in for the kill... but the Circuit-Breaker has a friend, a large black man who smites the creature with a vicious spiked mace.

The battle is won, the spell broken. He turns once more to flee from the madness, but his path is blocked by a purple-hooded, skull-faced man carrying a staff topped by a ram's head, an evil-looking version of Iron Man, and... Kang the Conqueror.

Jacko Witwicky woke up, gasping for breath, and switched on his bedside lamp. Strange. That wasn't the way the dream normally ended. He suddenly remembered something, turned, and saw the dark-haired girl from his dreams sleeping peacefully beside him.
___

In the year 2008, Katy Witwicky was walking home from school when a man jumped her from behind and tried to cover her mouth and nose with a strange-smelling cloth that she could only assume was soaked in chloroform or suchlike. Her self-defence training took over, and it was only after her assailant was unconscious, his arm broken in two places, that she found time to panic and ran the rest of the way back to her house, shouting for her parents. She found her home deserted with signs of a violent burglary have taken place, though she couldn't immediately see anything missing apart from her mother, her father and her fourteen-year-old brother, Jacko.

Katy found Bluestreak and Bumblebee in the garage, immobilised by what she immediately recognised as jammers. She removed the devices, but the Autobots weren't able to tell her anything useful about their attackers. Katy suddenly remembered the mugger she had knocked out, and cursed herself for leaving him unattended. Bluestreak quickly drove her to the scene, but he was gone.

As panic swept over her again, Bumblebee came to the rescue with an offer to call in a legendary Autobot tracker living on Cybertron, called Steeljaw, who possessed an array of chemical receptor microchips in his nose module sensitive enough to pick up chemical traces in the air as faint as one part per trillion. With the assistance of the Space Bridge, Spanner, and Slingshot the Aerialbot, who could land just about anywhere, Steeljaw was with them in under two hours. The kidnappers at the house had escaped by air and could not be tracked, but the mugger stank of chloroform and had run off on foot, and Steeljaw was soon hot on his trail.

When they found the isolated house where the remnants of Cobra were keeping Jacko in a drugged state, and their parents tied up in the basement to use as leverage to get what the wanted from the two Matrix-bearers (who, if all had gone according to plan, should both have been in their clutches by this point), Katy insisted on going in alone. The terrorists were no doubt on the alert and prepared for Autobot interference, and she couldn't risk anything happening to her family.

Katy used the Creation Matrix to scan the grounds for living and non-living machinery. Of the former, there was none, but there was a HISS tank stashed in the garage and a couple of FANG gyrocopters in the back, along with four powered 'Viper' gliders. There were a pair of sentries on patrol, equipped with night-vision goggles. With a thought, she had the Matrix reconfigure the goggles to apply extreme pressure to their wearers' temples, knocking them out.

She proceeded inside, dismantling door locks and handguns as she went, not saying a word to her enemies as she did things to them, from constricting watches to break their wrists, to smacking them in the foreheads with their radios as they tried to summon backup. Of their leaders, Tomax was the one who wore silver armour on his right shoulder, Xamot on his left, so after tonight the twin brothers would now share mirror-image collarbone fractures.

A few weeks after the kidnapping and rescue, in a secret facility somewhere off the coast of Japan, under the strict supervision of her father and a number of secretive government types in dark suits, Katy gave life to Action Master Thundercracker.
___

Ten years later, on Christmas Eve, Danita Santella was fully recovered from the injuries she had sustained on
Mojoworld and returned to Cameron Space Control, where she had a confession to make to her best friend.

"I slept with your brother."

"What...? Why?"

"Um... He's not bad-looking?"

"No, really."

"Well, I went to Portland as I had to go somewhere, and didn't fancy spending all that time with my Italian relatives. I knew from our previous visit that he liked me, and, well..."

"What?"

"You keep saying how he doesn't want his Matrix powers, and how he tried and failed to return them to Optimus Prime. I just wondered if there might be some things we could try... I sure would have found those powers useful on the Predator space station, and on Derut Four, and on Mumm-Ra's flagship, and in the Mojoverse..."

"I get the point. And you thought going to bed with my brother might do the trick?"

"It was just an idea I had. Why are you laughing? He said he thought it was worth a shot."

"I bet he did. Oh, this is too funny for words!"

"What? Oh... right. Damn it, I'll kill him."

"Hey, you can't complain, it was your idea. But I'm afraid you've been had. Good for Jacko."

"So you're not angry with me?"

"Why should I be angry? You're both grown-ups. Besides, I've got bigger things to worry about."

"Like what?"

"Remember that night before the showdown with Mumm-Ra's forces? You were trying to set me up with that Asgardian, Fandral."

"Yeah. Shame nothing came of it."

"Well, you know how, after the battle, Thor, Fandral and most of the others of their kind returned to Asgard and you set off alone for Nebulos?"

"Which I never reached, thanks to a certain Black Bunny..."

"Well, I stayed on Earth for a few days to see my parents and talk about Action Master Thundercracker's future. They put me up at Avengers Tower, and, well... me and Starfox... I mean, Eros..."

"What?! No! He was mine!"

"You got over him, apparently."

"That's true, but..."

"Dani. I'm pregnant."

"Oh... Oh!"

"Yeah."

"I see. How do you feel about it?"

"I'm not sure. But think about it."

"I am."

"The Creation Matrix, which I inherited from my father."

"Yes."

"The next Matrix-bearer... my daughter... could be an immortal. And the niece of Thanos."

THE END

ROBO MACHINES, ROBOTIX AND ZOIDS AT LARGE ON CYBERTRON AT THE END OF 2018

ROBO MACHINE MONSTERS (HELEX)
Bladez - counter-x.net/gobots/reviews/series3/bladez.html
Bugsie - counter-x.net/gobots/reviews/series3/bugsie.html
Creepy - counter-x.net/gobots/reviews/series2/creepy.html
Fangs - counter-x.net/gobots/reviews/combiners/monsterous.html
Fright Face - counter-x.net/gobots/reviews/combiners/monsterous.html
Gore Jaw - counter-x.net/gobots/reviews/combiners/monsterous.html
Heart Attack - counter-x.net/gobots/reviews/combiners/monsterous.html
Hornet - counter-x.net/gobots/reviews/series3/hornet.html
Klaws - counter-x.net/gobots/reviews/series3/klaws.html
Pincher - counter-x.net/gobots/reviews/series2/pincher.html
Scorp - counter-x.net/gobots/reviews/series2/scorp.html
South Claw - counter-x.net/gobots/reviews/combiners/monsterous.html
Vamp - counter-x.net/gobots/reviews/series2/vamp.html
Weird Wing - counter-x.net/gobots/reviews/combiners/monsterous.html
Zod - counter-x.net/gobots/reviews/zod/index.html

THE EVIL TERRAKORS OF SKALORR (SLAG SWAMPS)
Goon - robotix-animated.wikia.com/wiki/Goon
Nemesis - robotix-animated.wikia.com/wiki/Nemesis
Steggor - robotix-animated.wikia.com/wiki/Steggor
Tyrannix - robotix-animated.wikia.com/wiki/Tyrannix
Venturak - robotix-animated.wikia.com/wiki/Venturak

RED MUTANT ZOID ARMY (VOS)
Hellcat - zoids.wikia.com/wiki/Helcat
Hellrunner - zoids.wikia.com/wiki/Merda
Krark, Prince of Darkness - zoids.wikia.com/wiki/Salamander
Mammoth the Destroyer - zoids.wikia.com/wiki/Mammoth
Red Scavenger - zoids.wikia.com/wiki/Gustav
Redhorn the Terrible - zoids.wikia.com/wiki/Red_Horn
Slime - zoids.wikia.com/wiki/Malder
Slitherzoid - zoids.wikia.com/wiki/Molga
Spineback - zoids.wikia.com/wiki/Gator
Tarantulon - zoids.wikia.com/wiki/Gurantula
Terrared - zoids.wikia.com/wiki/Glidoler
Zark - zoids.wikia.com/wiki/Pteras
Zaton - zoids.wikia.com/wiki/Geruder
Znake - zoids.wikia.com/wiki/Stealth_Viper
Zunder - zoids.wikia.com/wiki/Zatton

SKY LYNX MAY BE A RUBBISH TOY, BUT...!

PART 1

Previously, in 'Earth's Mightiest Heroes':

1991. The Battle of Klo.

On the southern land mass, Counterpunch revealed his true allegiance, transforming back into the Autobot Punch in order to come to the aid of Blurr, Chromedome, Gears, Hubcap and Red Alert, but the six of them together were soon overwhelmed by the superior firepower of Ruckus, Slugslinger, Treadshot, Triggerhappy and Windsweeper. The Autobot Motorvators rolled forward to take the place of their fallen comrades, but Doubledealer swooped down and raked them with fire from his solid-light blaster, while the Reflector trio, Spectro, Spyglass and Viewfinder, blasted Chainclaw and Ramhorn from three directions.

"Stop!" screamed Knok from her position plugged in behind Doubledealer's main gun.

"What?" protested Doubledealer.

"Look! Look around you! Look at what the Decepticons have done!"

The giant falcon blinked, taking in the sight of all the dead pink aliens for the first time since having arrived on board Grimlock's fleet, disguised as an Autobot.

He looked up as a series of flashes appeared in the sky - ships dropping out of hyperspace.

Sky Lynx. Countdown. The Astro Squad. Omega Supreme.

The Autobot reinforcements had arrived.

Doubledealer ejected Knok and Skar and landed.

"Go! Get out of here!"

"No," said Knok. "We can escape together. Transform yourself into an Autobot! After what the Decepticons have done here, no-one's going to be taking any prisoners."

Doubledealer looked around, first at all the dead natives, then at the wounded Autobots, Chromedome, Red Alert, Gripper and Chainclaw, rising to their feet, and finally at the approaching form of Omega Supreme casting a shadow over the battlefield.

"No," he said quietly. "That's not going to work this time."

Now read on!
___

"Countdown! Omega!" cried Sky Lynx. "Our comrades in the lands to the east and west require urgent assistance. Go to them! I can handle things here..."

And so, as the wounded Autobots on the ground mustered to drive away the Reflector trio, Sky Lynx swooped down upon the more powerful Decepticons present.

"You fiends have outdone yourselves for villainy this day!" snarled Sky Lynx, observing all the dead bodies lying around. "You will pay dearly for this outrage!"

Doubledealer took to the air to put some distance between himself and his fleeing Powermaster partners. His flapping wings made him the most obvious target for the avenging Autobot, who split in two, his puma module landing in the trees while his dinobird form spewed a stream of fire from his mouth that hit the mercenary head-on. The dinobird burst through the cloud of smoke and flame, and gripped Doubledealer bodily in his talons. Dinobird and falcon tumbled through the air, locked together in a deadly embrace, each trying to bring his teeth to bear on his opponent. The Decepticons on the ground had no clear shot, and watched helplessly as the larger and stronger Sky Lynx finally got Doubledealer's head in his mouth and crushed it, spitting out the cerebral core in a ball of fire. He released the decapitated Powermaster, who spiralled away to explode against the mountainside.

"Now! Shoot him!" cried Treadshot, the Decepticons' team leader, firing his particle blaster to set the example. He and Slugslinger were skilful marksmen and struck Sky Lynx's armour a couple of glancing blows, but Ruckus, Triggerhappy and Windsweeper's shots went well wide of the mark.

As stated in his personnel file, "when Sky Lynx is in action, instinct seemingly takes over. He moves with a fluid feline grace, and with a purposelessness that befits one as fearless and daring as he." And with the massacre of the natives evident all around him, the Lieutenant Commander's blood was up.

The Decepticons hoped that Sky Lynx would respond sensibly to being faced by five warriors, each of whom had a firepower rating of eight out of ten, and back off, thus allowing them to make good their escape, but Sky Lynx had ratings of ten out of ten on strength, speed, endurance and courage, and was in no mood to give quarter. His puma module burst from the treeline, pouncing upon Treadshot, who he had observed as being in command and the most competent gunner and so the first target for elimination. The dinobird made good use of this distraction to fly into the midst of the other Decepticons, and scatter them with a flap of his wings and a swipe of his mighty tail.

A scream cut short signalled Treadshot's demise and struck terror into the heart of the cowardly Slugslinger, who broke ranks and bolted, but Ruckus, Triggerhappy and Windsweeper had more courage than sense and held their ground. Triggerhappy's Nebulan partner, Blowpipe, the late Lord Zarak's brother-in-law, had had enough, however, and fled on foot, leaving the Targetmaster weaponless as Sky Lynx's two modules combined once again, not into a space shuttle this time but into a giant fire-breathing dragon. (Note: A dragon differs from a flying dinosaur in that it has six limbs - two wings and four legs.)

Slugslinger ran headlong into Gripper and Chainclaw, who showed him no mercy, though his Nebulan partner, Caliburst, was fortunate enough to simply be taken prisoner by Chromedome and his Nebulan partner, Stylor. Red Alert overtook Blowpipe and likewise accepted his surrender.

But Sky Lynx bit, swiped, stomped, slashed and burned until Ruckus, Triggerhappy and Windsweeper were no more. They put up a good fight, and when it was over Sky Lynx was minus one wing, one optic and half his tail and had several nasty blast holes in his armour, but he was still standing.

The other Autobots sighed, knowing they'd never hear the end of it. But they were alive, and the Decepticons who had been about to kill them were dead, so none among them was inclined to begrudge their saviour his moment of glory.

TO BE CONTINUED

[Grand Moff Muffin]

SKY LYNX MAY BE A RUBBISH TOY, BUT...!

PART 2

"I can't understand it. Sky Lynx, of all people! In Primus's name, why would Optimus choose that fool to be his personal spaceship and travelling companion?"

"Beats me! He's the most aggravating Autobot I've ever encountered."

"Thinks he's better than everyone else... above us mere mortals."

"Completely lacking in modesty. Always telling people how wonderful he is."

"You said it! He doesn't have a single redeeming characteristic."

"Yeah..."

"Not one!"

"True, true... though to be fair, he is quite brave."

"Well, yes, of course he's brave, that goes without saying. But apart from his bravery, there's not one good thing to be said about Sky Lynx."

"And he's such a weird-looking mechanoid - all those teeth!"

"They say the Decepticons are terrified of him, because of the way he looks."

"And he sure is annoying."

"Damn right. No redeeming qualities whatsoever, apart from bravery, and striking fear into his enemies."

"What I find particularly annoying about him is the way the neutrals adore him so. Only this morning, I heard J'Muk and Wheezel going on and on about how Sky Lynx repeatedly saved them from Decepticon hunter-seeker skyships and harvester units during the reign of Straxus... and gave them a lift home afterwards."

"Big deal. He saved my life once. So what?"

"Come to think of it, he saved me twice during the war, not counting what happened during the battle with Unicron."

"Yeah, of course that doesn't count. That and the Battle of Klo. I mean, that was just... you know."

"Exactly."

"Quite so. And apart from his bravery, striking fear into his enemies, and saving the lives of you, me and a bunch of worthless neutrals..."

"...and other Autobots..."

"...and other Autobots. Apart from that, he doesn't have a single redeeming feature."

"And, of course, he only succeeded in saving so many lives during the war because he has such awesome strength, speed and endurance."

"Pah! Strength, speed and endurance are worthless without the intelligence to put them to good use."

"And Sky Lynx won't shut up about how clever he is."

"Clever! If he was so clever, why did he remain on the Cosmic Carnival for so many months, performing stunts for the amusement of aliens? He could have escaped easily! The Autobot Resistance was without his much-needed skills during that period!"

"I heard he was afraid what would happen to the human children that came with him if he broke his contract."

"But to abandon your comrades-in-arms just for the sake of a few humans! Only an idiot would make a choice like that."

"Yeah, only an idiot. Although..."

"What?"

"It's the sort of thing Optimus Prime would do."

"Well, yes, but he's different. He's not pompous and boastful, like Sky Lynx."

"You're absolutely right about that."

"And I think I can say with complete confidence, and without any fear of contradiction, that apart from his strength, intelligence, speed, endurance, courage, skill and compassion, the fear he inspires in his enemies, and all the neutral and Autobot lives that he's saved, there is not one single good thing to be said about that thrice-cursed braggart, Sky Lynx."

"True, true."

"Well, I'm glad we got that settled."

"Oh. And of course, without Sky Lynx's help, we could never have finished building that aqueduct."

THE END

STORIES LISTED IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER

MISCELLANEOUS
The year 1987: Battlechargers Forever / Transformers #23 and 32
Beginning from September 1988: Tales from the Cosmic Carnival / Transformers #44
January 1989: A Stopped Clock / Transformers UK #199-205, 223-227 and 251-254
The year 1989: A Stopped Clock: Chimes at Midnight / Transformers #60-61

THE LAST DAYS OF THE TRANSFORMERS WAR
The year 1990: Transformers UK #229, 237-239 and 255-289
The year 1990: The Magnificent Six (Transformers UK Annual 1991)
The year 1990: Transformers #67-70
The year 1990: The Last Days of the Transformers War: Xaaron / Transformers #71-73
The year 1991: The Last Days of the Transformers War: Unicron / Transformers #74-75
The year 1991: The Last Days of the Transformers War: Nucleon / Escort Duty / Breaking Bonds / Transformers #76-80
November 1991: Top Secret
December 1991: Another Time and Place (Transformers UK Annual 1992)
December 1991: The Reckoning

WHAT HAPPENED AFTERWARDS
The year 1992: Destiny of the Dinobots (Transformers UK Annual 1990)
The year 1992: Stylor's Sequel
The year 1992: Stylor's Statement
The year 1992: Stylor's Speech
The year 1993: The Last Minispy (time of narration)
The year 1993: The Last Minispy: Jaws of Steel
The year 1993: Earth's Mightiest Heroes
The year 1993: Earth's Mightiest Heroes: Minefield

INTERIM
1991-2018: Sky Lynx May Be a Rubbish Toy, But...!
1994-2018: Marvel Superheroes Meet the Transformers

TWENTY YEARS LATER
The year 2014: Twenty Years Later
The year 2014: Twenty Years Later: Kup's Story Retold
September 2017 to July 2018: Prelude to the Predator War
August 2018: Where Were You During the Predator War?
August 2018: Life and Freedom
August 2018: Cameron Space Marines
September 2018: Titanium Shott Blaster for Hire
September 2018: Titanium Shott Blaster for Hire: Death's Head vs Grimlock
September 2018: Game Over
September 2018: Game Over: Walkthrough
October 2018: The Mad Marvel UK Mash-Up
October 2018: The Mad Marvel UK Mash-Up: Deadlier Games
November-December 2018: War of the Skull
December 2018: The Legacy of Rodimus Prime
December 2018: The Legacy of Galvatron
December 2018: The Legacy of Primus

[Andy Turnbull]

Fantastic stuff Martin.

I do so love a big massive crossover or three!

Andy

[Grand Moff Muffin]

Nov 9, 2018 21:26:36 GMT Andy Turnbull said:

I do so love a big massive crossover or three!

Thanks, glad you're enjoying it!

Martin

[Andy Turnbull]

Finally getting round to reading these.

Really enjoyed The Legacy of Rodimus Prime, must be weird to be presented with the more successful important version of you and for it to be seen as more an aberration rather than what's expected. Poor Hot Rod.

Andy

[Grand Moff Muffin]

Thanks, Andy, I welcome the feedback! Yeah, writing that one made me realise how the present day Hot Rod, Kup and Blurr actually missed out on all the interactions with their time-travelling future selves, and so would be characters who might not really believe those events ever happened.

I'm afraid my train trip to Edinburgh and back gave me time to come up with yet more ideas to put down in the form of TF fanfic. Every time I finish one, I vow to take a break for a bit to allow readers to catch up, but then something else pops into my head... I realise it doesn't help that I make no concessions to casual readers - for these stories to make any kind of sense they can't really be dipped into and out of.

Martin

[blueshift]

I just want to say I've been enjoying these too Martin, sorry for not commenting on every one! I'm enjoying the ones that are less crossovers more, but that's because I'm a filthy Transformers purist!

[Andy Turnbull]

Nov 25, 2018 18:11:08 GMT Grand Moff Muffin said:

Thanks, Andy, I welcome the feedback! Yeah, writing that one made me realise how the present day Hot Rod, Kup and Blurr actually missed out on all the interactions with their time-travelling future selves, and so would be characters who might not really believe those events ever happened.

I'm afraid my train trip to Edinburgh and back gave me time to come up with yet more ideas to put down in the form of TF fanfic. Every time I finish one, I vow to take a break for a bit to allow readers to catch up, but then something else pops into my head... I realise it doesn't help that I make no concessions to casual readers - for these stories to make any kind of sense they can't really be dipped into and out of.

Martin

I let them build up a little and then barrel through them all!

Andy