|
Post by blueshift on Sept 18, 2019 16:54:18 GMT
GO EAST GO SOUTH Now you can answer Shockers. You travel east to the apocalyptic wasteland and then south to the Desert Deadly DesertYou stand in a barren wilderness of sand dunes, pitted with the scorched bones of animals and various huge cacti. A large wooden palisade has been built, in front of which are standing two guards, dressed in burly Delta Force gear but instead of trousers are wearing mankinis. They block your way. "We're still doing the riddle thing!" they say. "Answer THIS crafty riddle, oh stranger. Is the Sentry great or is he shit? THINK CAREFULLY!" The guard waves his sword menacingly. Directions <N> North - Apocalyptic Wasteland
|
|
|
Post by Shockprowl on Sept 18, 2019 16:58:36 GMT
ANSWER The Sentry is both Great and Shit! The character is truly amazingly GREAT! But he is often handled poorly, handled Shit, by foolish writers who deserve a cruel torment-filled fate.
|
|
|
Post by blueshift on Sept 18, 2019 17:50:55 GMT
ANSWER The Sentry is both Great and Shit! The character is truly amazingly GREAT! But he is often handled poorly, handled Shit, by foolish writers who deserve a cruel torment-filled fate. The guards discuss with each other and then come to an agreement, nodding. "VERY WELL!" the first guard says. "YOU HAVE PASSED THE ENTRANCE TEST. YOU MAY ENTER... OUR GLORIOUS OASIS" You enter Desert OasisYou stand in the middle of a large wooden fort that has been built around a muddy puddle in the desert. The sandy ground is littered with burger wrappers and other assorted trash. Several tattered tents are scattered about. The denizens of this place wander about with glazed expressions, reading books and then just idly throwing them away, half-finished. There is a statue of the Sentry standing in the middle of the dwellings but it seems to be made from mud slapped on to a large cactus. You hope it's mud. In front of you is a tent that seems to be selling goods, a tent that seems to be selling food, and a bigger, more ornate tent that seems to be the leader's. Directions <N> North - Deadly Desert <T1> Tent 1 - Goods Tent <T2> Tent 2 - Food Tent <T3> Tent 3 - Leader's Tent
|
|
|
Post by Shockprowl on Sept 18, 2019 17:57:14 GMT
(I love you, Blueshift. You're a complete bastard, but I love you).
We need to make contact with The leader....
GO to Leader's tent.
|
|
|
Post by blueshift on Sept 18, 2019 18:13:27 GMT
(I love you, Blueshift. You're a complete bastard, but I love you). We need to make contact with The leader.... GO to Leader's tent. You march straight into the leader's tent! Leader's TentInside this spacious tent is an impressive sight, or it would be if you had no standards. The floor is strewn with pizza boxes and empty bottles of coke. Guards stand milling about in their mankinis, scratching themselves. A figure wearing a paper crown and a cloak (and little else) sits on a throne made from tin foil, going through his post. "OH NO!" he shouts, opening an envelope. "Another erotic novel! Curse that fiend, curse..." He pauses to look at it. "Oh wait, no, I ordered that one." He opens another envelope. "Another erotic novel! Curse that fiend, curse him! Bum flaps!! Can no-one save me from his evil? I need a mighty warrior!" He looks up at you. "Eh, you'll do. Welcome brave sir, I see you have travelled far to see me. Do not worry, you do not have to treat me as a literal god even though everyone does and I pretty much am one!" He lounges back in his throne and wriggles, pulling out a banana skin that he was sitting on and throwing it away. "I alone have created the only functioning society in this so-called apocalyptic world after the traitor general destroyed it! But I am afflicted! A terrible fiend keeps on posting me erotic novels, and I have been cursed to read them all! I want you to find this villain and kill them! As a reward I will give you 150 shiny gold!" He sits back in his chair. "To aid you in this quest you may choose one of these three items. Don't ask me why I don't give them all to you, THE SENTRY commands that you get just one! A magnet on a string A box of matches An empty crisp packet
|
|
|
Post by Shockprowl on Sept 18, 2019 20:16:38 GMT
Is... Is the leader...
Rik Mayall...?
|
|
|
Post by Pinwig on Sept 18, 2019 20:22:27 GMT
He certainly reminds me of someone...
|
|
|
Post by Shockprowl on Sept 18, 2019 20:24:41 GMT
I'm sure I don't know what you mean. You bastard.
TAKE magnet on a string.
|
|
|
Post by Benn on Sept 18, 2019 20:25:35 GMT
No, ASK who the target is!
|
|
|
Post by blueshift on Sept 18, 2019 20:44:54 GMT
I'm sure I don't know what you mean. You bastard. TAKE magnet on a string. You take the magnet on a string and add it to your inventory. The leader then consumes the remaining items as per custom. No, ASK who the target is! The leader stares at you. "I don't know who the fiend is! Otherwise I would use my godlike powers to smite them! You must discover their identity!
|
|
|
Post by Shockprowl on Sept 18, 2019 20:47:48 GMT
ASK The Leader if he has any evidence that may assist and if he has the power to reattach our arm.
|
|
|
Post by blueshift on Sept 18, 2019 20:49:54 GMT
ASK The Leader if he has any evidence that may assist and if he has the power to reattach our arm. The leader nods. "Yes, the only clue I have is that the person sending me these erotic novels is a MEANY! I hope this helps narrow it down. Also I have medical skills, and using my godlike powers I will reattach your arm. However I require all the hair on your head! Will you agree?"
|
|
|
Post by Shockprowl on Sept 18, 2019 20:51:59 GMT
................................
I'm simultaneously in awe of and terrified of The Blueshift...
SAY yes I agree. Two arms is more use than a nice hair-do.
|
|
|
Post by blueshift on Sept 18, 2019 20:56:27 GMT
................................ I'm simultaneously in awe of and terrified of The Blueshift... SAY yes I agree. Two arms is more use than a nice hair-do. You agree. Two guards come up behind you and shave off all your hair, putting it into a bucket and taking it away into a back section of the tent. The leader licks his lips and rubs his hand as he watches the hair being carried away. "And now," he says, "I will use my godlike medical skills to reattach your arm!" He takes your zombie arm, which is currently flailing about, and jams a cocktail stick into it. He then jams the other end of the cocktail stick into your arm stump. You now have a zombie arm uncontrollably flailing about attached to your shoulder via a cocktail stick.
|
|
|
Post by Benn on Sept 18, 2019 20:56:33 GMT
What do we look like anyway?
|
|
|
Post by blueshift on Sept 18, 2019 20:56:54 GMT
What do we look like anyway? I mean, it's not good...
|
|
|
Post by Benn on Sept 18, 2019 20:57:44 GMT
No, I imagine not at this point. What's the price for reattaching a buttock?
|
|
|
Post by Pinwig on Sept 18, 2019 21:25:03 GMT
You now have a zombie arm uncontrollably flailing about attached to your shoulder via a cocktail stick. Don't we get any health back for that masterpiece of puzzle solving?! I mean, come on!
|
|
|
Post by blueshift on Sept 18, 2019 21:30:14 GMT
You now have a zombie arm uncontrollably flailing about attached to your shoulder via a cocktail stick. Don't we get any health back for that masterpiece of puzzle solving?! I mean, come on! Careful, if anything you should have lost health!
|
|
Stomski
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!! But don't worry. It won't happen again.
Posts: 5,959
|
Post by Stomski on Sept 19, 2019 8:57:03 GMT
Epic work here Blue'.
This leader gives us 150g, perhaps all four of the leaders give us 150g each, leading to the 600g we need to order Unicron and complete the pie chart.
In which case we can use incidental gold (such as the 5 we found in the sock) for other purchases.
|
|
Stomski
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!! But don't worry. It won't happen again.
Posts: 5,959
|
Post by Stomski on Sept 19, 2019 12:51:08 GMT
GO DESERT OASIS LOOK MUDDY PUDDLE
|
|
|
Post by blueshift on Sept 19, 2019 15:51:29 GMT
GO DESERT OASIS LOOK MUDDY PUDDLE You leave the tent and stare in the muddy puddle. A horrible monster stares back at you! Ha ha only joking it is your face. The water looks really disgusting. Several inhabitants happily drink from it. "How lucky we are that our wise leader provides!" they say
|
|
|
Post by Shockprowl on Sept 19, 2019 17:24:43 GMT
No, I imagine not at this point. What's the price for reattaching a buttock? Oh damn, I forgot about our ass.
|
|
Stomski
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!! But don't worry. It won't happen again.
Posts: 5,959
|
Post by Stomski on Sept 19, 2019 21:29:47 GMT
USE MAGNET ON STRING WITH MUDDY PUDDLE
|
|
|
Post by blueshift on Sept 20, 2019 5:50:14 GMT
USE MAGNET ON STRING WITH MUDDY PUDDLE You dangle the magnet into the water. There is a click. You pull it out to find a 5 gold coin attached to it (gold is magnetic after the apocalypse)
|
|
Stomski
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!! But don't worry. It won't happen again.
Posts: 5,959
|
Post by Stomski on Sept 20, 2019 6:30:18 GMT
INVENTORY
|
|
|
Post by blueshift on Sept 20, 2019 11:42:09 GMT
HEALTH03/60 INVENTORYPIE CHART METER BRAIN PIECE 10 GOLD CHRISTMAS SOCK YELLOW FLOWER INSECT SPEAR K9 AND COMPANY SLAB BUM FLAP MAGNET ON A STRING EQUIPPED:ZOMBIE ARM+COCKTAIL STICK
|
|
Stomski
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!! But don't worry. It won't happen again.
Posts: 5,959
|
Post by Stomski on Sept 20, 2019 12:12:51 GMT
Oooh, we have a cocktail stick. Didn't think that would be ours to use.
|
|
|
Post by blueshift on Sept 20, 2019 12:44:04 GMT
Oooh, we have a cocktail stick. Didn't think that would be ours to use. I mean, it's attaching the zombie arm to your body at the moment
|
|
|
Post by Benn on Sept 20, 2019 13:16:25 GMT
When did we pick up th-- Oh. Oh.
Bum Flap. Right.
|
|