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Post by The Doctor on Jun 7, 2021 10:26:20 GMT
When it gets warmer, more Beasties appear! Share your stories here.
I went to take a swig of my milk this morning and there was a Beastie lurking inside!!! Bastard!!!
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Jun 17, 2021 10:32:49 GMT
THE BATHROOM BEAST KEEPS EVADING ME!!!
-Ralph
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Post by Shockprowl on Jun 17, 2021 17:19:16 GMT
Summer Beasties never bother me.
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Post by Pinwig on Jun 17, 2021 20:30:14 GMT
Girl screams 'spider!'
I rush over with brush to sweep it out the window.
Spider buggers off down a hole under the window.
Five minutes elapses.
Repeat this three times and you'll see why lesson one this morning was quite frustrating.
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Post by Grand Moff Muffin on Jun 17, 2021 21:25:11 GMT
My colleague is off to do more volunteering in Africa.
He has been telling us stories of the sorts of creepy crawlies they have there.
I have little sympathy for you lot.
Martin
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Post by Benn on Jun 17, 2021 21:28:15 GMT
Hey, he's choosing to go to them. We have no choice about home grown crawlies.
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Post by Grand Moff Muffin on Jun 17, 2021 21:41:55 GMT
Girl screams 'spider!' I rush over with brush to sweep it out the window. Spider buggers off down a hole under the window. Five minutes elapses. Repeat this three times and you'll see why lesson one this morning was quite frustrating. Give the girl a shoe to whack it with when it reappears, tell her to make its death swift and painless, and get on with the lesson. Martin |
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Post by The Doctor on Jul 2, 2021 9:37:08 GMT
There was a beastie on the cooker hob this morning!!!
-Ralph
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Post by Pinwig on Jul 2, 2021 20:45:20 GMT
Burn him! Burn him with gas mark 3!
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Post by The Doctor on Jul 4, 2021 21:42:57 GMT
It turned out that SOMEONE had oreviously spotted the Beastie there but had not warned me!!!
-Ralph
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Post by Shockprowl on Jul 5, 2021 20:37:33 GMT
Haa! The beastie minions of House Hohenzollern will offer you no respite, Doctor Habsburg!
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Post by The Doctor on Jul 8, 2021 15:08:37 GMT
A Beastie just ran at me while I was atop The Throne!!!
-Ralph
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Post by Shockprowl on Jul 8, 2021 20:47:47 GMT
Yes, that one was my favourite; my finest bug-warrior.
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 18, 2022 22:59:48 GMT
Caught three of the bastards in the living room today!!!
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Feb 21, 2023 22:57:52 GMT
We were mostly away for a few months but in getting back home...we have a real Beastie problem downstairs! I keep finding the buggers and tossing them out!
Used a bug identifier...wouldlice! Harmless, my hairy arse.
WAR.
THE SHERIFF IS BACK IN TOWN.
At the weekend I shall get some SPECIAL SPRAY.
DIE, YOU CREEPY BASTARDS, DIE!
-Ralph
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Post by Grand Moff Muffin on Feb 22, 2023 6:04:54 GMT
I like woodlice. They don't bite, they don't squish, they don't fly, they don't have long appendages, they're easy to pick up, and they transform into little marbles. Woodlice are the hedgehogs and Rock Lords of creepy crawlies.
Martin
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Post by The Doctor on Feb 22, 2023 8:30:07 GMT
I will wipe them out.
-Ralph
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Feb 22, 2023 10:42:10 GMT
It's a good thing AI isn't learning from us then.
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Post by Shockprowl on Feb 22, 2023 18:29:00 GMT
I will wipe them out. -Ralph I stand with you, righteousness Doctor. Nuke 'em. I don't like woodlice either. Little bastards. They represent damp and decay. If they want to go about their business outside in the garden, then that's fine. But just not in my fucking house! Or my regular house, for that matter. |
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Post by Grand Moff Muffin on Feb 22, 2023 18:56:11 GMT
They represent damp and decay. If you and Ralph have damp and decay in your houses that is attracting woodlice, you need to sort it out. Evicting the harmless beasties is focusing on the symptoms rather than the cause. Martin |
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Post by The Doctor on Feb 22, 2023 19:13:54 GMT
There is no damp or decay. There are gaps in the wall and the bastards are getting in. Heat kills them.
HEAT WILL KILL.
-Ralph
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Post by Shockprowl on Feb 22, 2023 21:45:43 GMT
We have damp and decay...
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Post by The Doctor on Feb 26, 2023 19:26:07 GMT
Numbers have significantly reduced. I am winning the war.
-Ralph
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Feb 26, 2023 23:55:22 GMT
But not hearts and minds.
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Post by Shockprowl on Feb 27, 2023 17:00:58 GMT
Wipe them out, Doctor. All of them.
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Post by The Doctor on Feb 27, 2023 17:11:33 GMT
I will Order 66 on their arses!!!
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Jun 18, 2023 10:54:57 GMT
I opened the curtains and a millipede ran at me! I tried to chuck it out the window but it landed on the floor of the home office so I had to chase it! Those buggers can go at some speed.
Meanwhile, every night is currently War Against The Moths.
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Aug 30, 2023 19:31:44 GMT
White powder deployed to take out the woodlice invasion. The bodies are piling up!
In a few days, we get the Polyfilla out.
-Ralph
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Aug 30, 2023 19:33:04 GMT
Poor woodlice. 🙁
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Post by The Doctor on Aug 30, 2023 19:35:33 GMT
I don't mind the odd one here and there but we have been having a proper invasion. Dozens every night. We wipe them out, then we seal up the hole they are coming from.
-Ralph
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