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Post by grahamthomson on Feb 13, 2008 14:57:26 GMT
Ah, you know how it is! All those adverts for "love" song albums, that "Atonement" film and who knows what else making you wish you had that special someone to buy cheap child-labour-promoting carbon-footprint-increasing tat for. I say give in to the pressure! Get yourself a date (or if you're already in a long, dull, lifeless relationship; a bit of dry humping) with these guaranteed to work* chat up lines! *Not a guarantee. And if you have your own, proven to work lines, then please share them here. Here goes. Get a pen and pencil ready: - I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock...
- Hi, the voices in my head told me to come and talk to you...
- Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
- I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you...
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Post by Andy Turnbull on Feb 13, 2008 15:26:35 GMT
Excuse me, would you like a pizza and a fuck? What's the matter don't you like pizza.
Andy
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Hero
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
King of RULES!
Everything Rules
Posts: 7,500
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Post by Hero on Feb 13, 2008 15:33:09 GMT
Hello, you RULE.
(That should work.)
===KEN
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Post by Andy Turnbull on Feb 13, 2008 15:53:05 GMT
What winks and makes love like a tiger? (you then proceed to wink)
Andy
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Post by Dark Stranger on Feb 13, 2008 15:54:01 GMT
Is their a mirror in your pants?
Cos I can see myself in them.
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Post by grahamthomson on Feb 13, 2008 15:58:43 GMT
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.
You have 206 bones inside you right now; want to have 207 tonight?
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Post by Dark Stranger on Feb 13, 2008 16:07:18 GMT
True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place. Ha ha ha, that one's brilliant! I remember giving a girl in America the old Phil Lynott line: Me: "Here love, do you have any Irish in you?" Her: "Yeah man, my great-grandparents were Irish" Me: "So you have a little Irish in you?" Her: "Yeah man." Me: "Would you like a little more?  " She promptly slapped me. |
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kayevcee
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
The Weather Wizard
Posts: 5,527
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Post by kayevcee on Feb 13, 2008 20:47:35 GMT
"That blouse looks good on you. It would look even better stuffed in the neck of a vodka bottle, set on fire and hurled through the window of the establishment."
Probably a niche market for that one.
-Nick
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Hero
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
King of RULES!
Everything Rules
Posts: 7,500
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Post by Hero on Feb 14, 2008 0:44:36 GMT
Tell her she RULES!!!!!  ===KEN |
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Post by grahamthomson on Feb 14, 2008 8:34:46 GMT
"That blouse looks good on you. It would look even better stuffed in the neck of a vodka bottle, set on fire and hurled through the window of the establishment." Probably a niche market for that one. -Nick I don't know... that might have a more universal appeal than you think. Though not always with something as fancy as a blouse. |
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Post by grahamthomson on Feb 14, 2008 10:33:45 GMT
You know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
You're on my list of things to do tonight!
Have you lost your virginity? If so can I see the box it came in?
One perhaps Ralph can use;
I wish you were my essay because I'd be doing you on the desk right now.
Your eyes are like spanners. Why? Because when I look into them, my nuts tighten.
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Post by Shockprowl on Feb 16, 2008 19:53:33 GMT
Just ask them about themselves, listen and show interest.
Yeah, whatever...
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Post by The Doctor on Feb 16, 2008 22:41:24 GMT
You know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated. One perhaps Ralph can use; I wish you were my essay because I'd be doing you on the desk right now. . Starting another essay soon. I shall hold that suggestion in reserve. -Ralph |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2008 16:49:57 GMT
'Your knickers are coming down'
'Why?'
'Because I've just made up my mind.'
Or how about this one:
'Why don't you sit on my face so that I can try on your beard.'
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2008 18:46:45 GMT
'Can I kneel down and pray in your church?'
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kayevcee
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
The Weather Wizard
Posts: 5,527
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Post by kayevcee on Feb 19, 2008 21:19:38 GMT
Maybe it's my sheltered Catholic upbringing, but I've never heard the word church used as a sexual euphemism before, nor have I seen cunnilingus referred to as prayer. It's a whole new world.
-Nick
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Post by The Doctor on Feb 19, 2008 21:25:05 GMT
Never let it be said that the Hub is not educational.
-Ralph
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Post by grahamthomson on Sept 21, 2009 20:42:52 GMT
Did any of these lines work for anyone?
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Post by The Doctor on Sept 21, 2009 21:51:58 GMT
I never used them.
-Ralph
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2009 7:13:43 GMT
i wasnt here back then |
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Post by grahamthomson on Sept 22, 2009 7:30:07 GMT
In that case, why not try any one of the above lines at work today and then let us know how you got on.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2009 8:54:10 GMT
In that case, why not try any one of the above lines at work today and then let us know how you got on. the only ladies at work are either taken or a bit old awww I might try it with a random girl online though lol |
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Post by The Doctor on Sept 22, 2009 9:56:51 GMT
Girls online, eh? Be sure it's not a sweaty overweight middle-aged bloke in a basement now.
-Ralph
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Post by karla on Sept 22, 2009 11:19:02 GMT
I wish I never came to this page!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2009 12:05:53 GMT
Girls online, eh? Be sure it's not a sweaty overweight middle-aged bloke in a basement now. -Ralph *horrible flashbacks* *starts rocking* Never again.....  |
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Dezzeh
Thunderjet
Wait, what?
Posts: 4,888
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Post by Dezzeh on Sept 22, 2009 15:53:29 GMT
I sampled a few of these with one of our office girls, she was espeically impressed with the fish mounted one and the virginity box!
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Post by karla on Sept 22, 2009 17:10:48 GMT
Girls online, eh? Be sure it's not a sweaty overweight middle-aged bloke in a basement now. -Ralph aaaaah my desk is the perfect height for resting my man-boobs. hmmm...I seem to have an itch inbetween my toes. can't quite....reach with.....hand.....too fat *phew* oh look my toothbrush is next to me how handy, i'll just scratch the inner crevices of my toes. *sniffs toothbrush flicks off crusty stuff* ...... i'll just give it a quick rinse, that should do the trick! aaaaw now my ear is starting to itch.... Karla a.k.a KARLTON |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2009 17:27:09 GMT
Girls online, eh? Be sure it's not a sweaty overweight middle-aged bloke in a basement now. -Ralph aaaaah my desk is the perfect height for resting my man-boobs. hmmm...I seem to have an itch inbetween my toes. can't quite....reach with.....hand.....too fat *phew* oh look my toothbrush is next to me how handy, i'll just scratch the inner crevices of my toes. *sniffs toothbrush flicks off crusty stuff* ...... i'll just give it a quick rinse, that should do the trick! aaaaw now my ear is starting to itch.... Karla a.k.a KARLTON *block**block* *BLOCK* |
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Post by The Doctor on Sept 22, 2009 17:34:06 GMT
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
-Ralph
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Post by Shockprowl on Sept 22, 2009 22:23:01 GMT
Aesir and Karla, you've made me ROAR with laughter so much so that Mrs Shockprowl had to come upstairs and tell me to shut up for fear of waking the Piglet! What an image!
*rests man-boobs on desk, dries sweat from fore-head, and clicks on Karla's photo. Hmm, wonder when Aesir will post a pic.....*
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