Post by dyrl on Jul 1, 2009 13:23:07 GMT
Inspired by all of the budding reviews of recent ROTF toys, feuled by subconscious rage bubbling just below the surface ever since the first image of Movie Chicken-Scream flashed before my eyes at Seibertron.com, I have made this review of...
ROTF Genericon!
ROTF Genericon is, as most of you may well suspect, actually a completely mistransformed Henkei Astrotrain with a strange insect crudely copied, cut on via MS Paint and serving as its' head.
However, this is no mere coincidence. Initially, to prove my point, I had considered taking my entire collection - from Henkei, to Masterpiece, to G1, and mistransforming them to generally look like something out of Michael Bay's Transformers movies.
Then, as soon as I had completed posing Genericon here for his picture, I decided there were better things to do with my short, mortal life span.
Besides; Genericon alone should make the point. What is the point? Simple: appearances to the contrary, the aesthetic of the Bayformers is terrible NOT ONLY because it departs heavily from the original look of the Transformers; not only because it even departs heavily from the admitably extremely broad scope and range of Transformers toys issued throughout the decades - no. The aesthetic of Bayformers is terrible in its' own right for being just down right lazy.
To take something that looks like a car or a plane and turn it into something that resembles a samuraii, a knight, an armored warrior with generally humanoid shape and form - this is not an easy task. Much criticism has often been laid at the feet of Transformers for anthropomorphizing the robots. Initially, Marvel comics did this because it was the best way to make it easy to draw them quickly for the comics. However, let's also celebrate the fact that by inadvertantly making the robots LOOK like super heroes of various sorts - the comics (and later cartoons) presented a wonderful challenge to engineers. A challenge, because it is not easy to make - say - a Walther P-38 actually transform into the original Megatron. It's not easy to make a sleek F-15 transform into the rather boxy seekers. The list could go on.
On the other hand, with regard to Michael Bay's Transformers - it's actually quite easy to make a vehicle fold out into twenty randomly twisted parts with some fungus on a peg thrown in for good measure and called "th head."
Let Genericon up there testify. Lo and behold Gnericon does not have any legs - at least not by human standards. But why should he? He's an alien from another planet, and the scientific laws of evolution which seem to imply that having legs is actually useful don't apply because we're talking about aliens. And to demonstrate just how alien Genericon is - he has a vague stand-like thing with some boosters out front.
The boosters - when ignited - do flip him backwards, but, waving his four random limbs around and adjusting for variable wind, this only helps Genericon mode forward - doing back flips.
Yes, that's right. Back flips. Albeit backwards back flips.
And this is how Genericon moves forward.
What?
You expected him to walk? Only humans do that silly.
These are aliens.
As for Genericon's limbs - he has three claw like elements at the end of the middle limbs. He really can't hold anything in these claws and they really don't seem to be very nimble. But holding things and being nimble is a traight of human hands - and - yes, that's right - Genericon is an alien after all.
And finally - we come to the limbs up top. These are Genericon's generic extra limbs, to signify how alien he is, because if he only had two limbs above his torso, it would look too human - and these are aliens.
....
what?
Waiting for me to explain what other purpose those extra limbs serve?
There is no other. That's all. They're there so he can look more alien. Duh.
Genericon transforms into a space shuttle and a choo choo train.
Pete
ROTF Genericon!
ROTF Genericon is, as most of you may well suspect, actually a completely mistransformed Henkei Astrotrain with a strange insect crudely copied, cut on via MS Paint and serving as its' head.
However, this is no mere coincidence. Initially, to prove my point, I had considered taking my entire collection - from Henkei, to Masterpiece, to G1, and mistransforming them to generally look like something out of Michael Bay's Transformers movies.
Then, as soon as I had completed posing Genericon here for his picture, I decided there were better things to do with my short, mortal life span.
Besides; Genericon alone should make the point. What is the point? Simple: appearances to the contrary, the aesthetic of the Bayformers is terrible NOT ONLY because it departs heavily from the original look of the Transformers; not only because it even departs heavily from the admitably extremely broad scope and range of Transformers toys issued throughout the decades - no. The aesthetic of Bayformers is terrible in its' own right for being just down right lazy.
To take something that looks like a car or a plane and turn it into something that resembles a samuraii, a knight, an armored warrior with generally humanoid shape and form - this is not an easy task. Much criticism has often been laid at the feet of Transformers for anthropomorphizing the robots. Initially, Marvel comics did this because it was the best way to make it easy to draw them quickly for the comics. However, let's also celebrate the fact that by inadvertantly making the robots LOOK like super heroes of various sorts - the comics (and later cartoons) presented a wonderful challenge to engineers. A challenge, because it is not easy to make - say - a Walther P-38 actually transform into the original Megatron. It's not easy to make a sleek F-15 transform into the rather boxy seekers. The list could go on.
On the other hand, with regard to Michael Bay's Transformers - it's actually quite easy to make a vehicle fold out into twenty randomly twisted parts with some fungus on a peg thrown in for good measure and called "th head."
Let Genericon up there testify. Lo and behold Gnericon does not have any legs - at least not by human standards. But why should he? He's an alien from another planet, and the scientific laws of evolution which seem to imply that having legs is actually useful don't apply because we're talking about aliens. And to demonstrate just how alien Genericon is - he has a vague stand-like thing with some boosters out front.
The boosters - when ignited - do flip him backwards, but, waving his four random limbs around and adjusting for variable wind, this only helps Genericon mode forward - doing back flips.
Yes, that's right. Back flips. Albeit backwards back flips.
And this is how Genericon moves forward.
What?
You expected him to walk? Only humans do that silly.
These are aliens.
As for Genericon's limbs - he has three claw like elements at the end of the middle limbs. He really can't hold anything in these claws and they really don't seem to be very nimble. But holding things and being nimble is a traight of human hands - and - yes, that's right - Genericon is an alien after all.
And finally - we come to the limbs up top. These are Genericon's generic extra limbs, to signify how alien he is, because if he only had two limbs above his torso, it would look too human - and these are aliens.
....
what?
Waiting for me to explain what other purpose those extra limbs serve?
There is no other. That's all. They're there so he can look more alien. Duh.
Genericon transforms into a space shuttle and a choo choo train.
Pete
