Feeling v down

[panderson]

Hi gang - this is not a cry for help or anything, just need to unburden/vent whatever and this is the place I have felt the most comfortable to do it for years - you guys are great
Things are just getting on top of me
I know the things happening to me - or rather to those I love - are manageable, but it all seems to be happening at once - and feel I should be able to snap my fingers and make it right - silly I know -
Anyway - so here it is...
First off, I may have said goodbye to my dog for the last time. Its not really my dog but my partners and due to a number of issues we have to find him a new home. My partner is a wreck at the mo - up and down and just want to hug her and make things better. We have someone coming to look at him tomorrow and so when I left (had to come back for work in morn) that may be the last time I see him and its just him me.....
Ok, and also my gran is dying and in extreme pain. We don't know hoe long she has. Has pancreatis (I think thats it) on top of having a number of strokes and other things so doc says cannot operate or that will kill her. She has been in NHS hospital in Leicester for about a month now, and its tearing my mum up. She is the rock of the family and seeing her crumble like this is a shock. And again just want to make her feel better but no joy there. Gran is in near constant pain and having trouble moving here to a care home for her final however long it takes. While the docs say she can go, there is this jobsworth ward sister who is refusing to sign her out, meaning she may lose place in care home, meaning we may have to go private, which no one can afford (£750 a week!!!). Also worried it is making parents ill - Mum is still getting over breast cancer, and dad blood pressure is a worry
Also worried about partner getting in a funk over work - been out of work for over a year and she is getting worn down...starting to like daytime TV - bad sign (laugh if you can) and trying to give her some support and get up and go and its coming across as pushy nagging which is not good
Add to this - and something not told anyone yet - but think my eyes are getting worse again - not sure but could me more clouds/dark patches and bad eye showing signs of additional inflammation - will keep eye on it but dont want to say anything yet to nearest ot dearest given situation
So there you are - - I think - I am very aware of the contradictory nature of feelings. I feel almost selfish for wanting to hug them - I want them to feel happy so I feel happy - I hate emotions - they are never black and white and sometimes just make you more messed up.....
Vent over
Sorry - just needed that - Mods please delete if too much and not place for this...

[blueshift]

D: If there is anything anyone here can do, let us now. We've all been there at some point, and yeah, life does suck at times, but you'll get over it.

The best advice I can give (which isn't /great/ advice) is perhaps make a list of all your problems and talk them over with your partner / friends to look for solutions together, rather than taking it all on your shoulders and getting in a solid worry over it.

With jobs for example, the job market is tough but it isn't impossible. I was out of work for a good while, and I got back in via temping. Ralph has his own stories on that too, as I'm sure a lot of people do.

[grahamthomson]

If you ever need a Hairy Man Hug, I'm here.

[Deleted]

The last thing you need at this time of year are problems like that but, if you don't worry too much and persuade yourself that you are going get through it all then it doesn't seem to be as bad as it is.

[The Doctor]

Have no fear about unburdoning yourself. I have found people to be very tolerant here when I've been going through bad times.

-Ralph

[Hero]

We all need to vent sometimes Paul. If you need to chat, you know where to find me.

===KEN

[legios]

I think we all need to unload what is in our mind every so often, and one of the good things about the Hub is that it is a comfortable place where we can do this - at least, I have always found it so.

Sometimes just the act of putting things out in the open instead of being in the recesses of the mind can help, so if you need to unburden yourself of things then go ahead.

Karl

[Grand Moff Muffin]

You're in my prayers, Paul.

Martin

[Andy Turnbull]

Nothing wrong with feeling the need to vent every now and then and we wouldn't be any kind of friends if we didn't offer support.

I'm sorry to hear things aren't the best for you and your family at this time of year always ready to lend a sympathetic ear/shoulder when needed.

Andy

[panderson]

Thanks for all your kind words guys
Still up and down here
Chester - our dog - now has a new home - lady came to pick him up on Monday...in a Porsche!!! Thats style - and her daughter is keeping his Facebook page updated so my better half can keep up with how he is doing but all v sad still - comfort eating to bugger
Gran still on slippery slope - and now having trouble finding her a care home - or rather a jobsworth snoooty ward nurse is dragging her hills meaning we have to pay a grand to hold a care home place while she undrags her hills and sorts out the paper work GRRRR

[dyrl]

Well - if it helps:

One of my dogs died this June - he was a st. bernard named Charlie .... in fact, there's a thread here on the Hub called "Channeling for Charlie." When I started the thread - I thought the dog would have a couple of weeks to live... he instead lived a few more months and it was great to take care of him over that time.

I cleared a spot out in the backyard for his grave and gave him a proper tombstone. He rests next to my childhood cat who crossed the Atlantic ocean with me and lived 21 years (yes, really). Both of them were wonderful companies.

My grandmother died quite a long time ago - 1998 if I remember correctly. She is buried at a small cemetary not far from my house. In fact, I visited her grave on Christmas eve, lit a candle.

As for girlfriend/work ... There's no reason to stress over this one. The economy is piss poor and if someone gets hit with unemployment the last thing they should think is that this is because of something they did or some fault of theirs. In this economy people lose jobs because the economy sucks, not because they suck as workers.

In any case - hang tough!
Pete