Post by The Doctor on Nov 14, 2007 22:19:47 GMT
From the TMUK Archives, May 2001.
---
THE TRANSFORMERS: "BIZARRE"
Written by Ralph Burns.
-------------------------------------------
"I love what you've done with your hair," replied Megatron. "It looks super."
"Thanks." mumbled Optimus Prime as he lounged back on his hammock, hastily strung up between two sturdy oak trees. It was a lovely day in the park today. "I just wasn't sure. You know what I'm like about hair." His ginger wig slipped a little as he spoke. Prime swore angrily and he quickly re-adjusted it.
Over by the picnic hamper, Megatron dug into some steel and graphite sandwiches. They had been his favourite for as long as he could remember.
"So, Megsey, what shall we do today?"
Megatron coldly regarded the hot sun beating down from the clear blue sky. Nearby, a few swans flew gracefully by. "Let's just stay here. Watch the world go by."
And so they did. Nothing happened and nobody came.
As dawn fell, Prime transformed into his truck mode and ferried himself and Megatron back to their cottage in the hills. It was in the old rustic style and was full of bric-a-brac they had picked up on their journeys.
When they got there, Megatron slithered away to his room. "See you tomorrow. I'm beat." he declared with a wave before retiring for the night.
Prime slouched around in the living room for a little while, tinkering with his collection of antique clocks. Eventually, he settled to lying back on his favourite couch and indulging in a bit of origami. He so enjoyed doing that. After a few hours he had produced an aeroplane, a duck, the eiffel tower and five hundred neural interfaces. He always felt the compulsion to make the later, though had no clear idea why. He much preferred ducks anyway.
Exhausted, he fell asleep on the couch.
Nothing else happened.
"Boo!" shouted Megatron.
Prime awoke to find his flatmate hitting him over the head with an inflatable sauce-pan. This angered him greatly and so he retaliated with a inflatable sheep.
The fun and games continued for some time.
Tired, the two settled into their easy-chairs and poured themselves an unleaded oil each.
"What will we do now?!" exclaimed Megatron excitedly.
There were no sounds from outside.
Prime contemplated dust molecules for a few seconds.
"Let's go for a walk in the village." he concluded
"Super!" shrieked his companion.
The village was quiet, but then it usually was. Rows of semi-detached Edwardian period cottages lined every street. There was no litter, no sound and a lack of morning papers lying on mats outside homes. No bottles of milk either. Nobody lived in the cottages.
Megatron quietly hummed 'Charge of the light brigade' to himself.
"Megsey," queried Prime as they automatically settled into a quick march. "Have you ever thought of how quiet it is round here?"
"Eh? That's just the way it is."
"Have you never thought to travel again? To go somewhere different for a change?"
Megatron paused in his march. Gravel ground itself out of existence underfoot. "Why? Everything we need is here."
"It was just a thought."
"Look, you're starting to worry me now. Let's go to the AD cafe for a nice cup of cocoa."
They entered the old cafe and quickly made themselves cocoa. They even had a couple of chocolate digestives too. There were no other customers.
An enjoyable afternoon was spent chatting about various issues. There was an amusing moment as they left when Megatron got his gun arm caught in the door and got stuck for a few minutes. Prime had found it extremely difficult to keep his face straight, even though he didn't have a mouth.
That night, after his companion had gone to sleep, Prime sat restlessly on the edge of his bed, fidgeting with a basketball. He had become increasingly restless of late. He tried a few slam dunks into his basketball hoop, then went to bed, troubled.
He awoke with a start in the middle of the night.
Shreds of paper were by his bed. He must have being doing origami in his sleep again. One of the shapes he had constructed was that of a computer monitor, just like the one which sat on top of his well polished desk.
He shook his head with confusion and his wig fell off. He stared at it mournfully.
Damn it. He needed some air.
Tip-toeing, so as not to wake up Megatron, he exited the cottage.
Once outside, he decided to go for a drive to help clear his mind. Once he had assumed the form of a truck, he hit the road. He drove on through the night and further than ever before.
It came as something of a shock then when he hit an invisible barrier. The air fractured into pixels before reforming.
Prime was rendered immediately non-operational.
He therefore failed to notice the computer script which began to scrawl across the sky.
>>>Program AFTER-DEATH (AD). V 6.7. (Variant Artificial Computer Generated Environment Analysis on Alien Lifeforms). Self-awareness of duplicate VR copies of subjects Megatron and Optimus Prime beginning to return. Purge action activation in 10...9...<<<
"You look awful!" shrieked Megatron in shock as he helped his friend into a wicker chair. "What happened to you?"
Prime rubbed his forehead absently. "Tyre puncture. Little crash. I'll be alright. I...I..."
Megatron continued to fuss about Prime. "Hang on, I'll go fetch a nice cooling glass of ginger beer and lime. Back in a tick." He ambled off into the kitchen.
Prime sat in silence. There had been something else, hadn't there?
He didn't notice that his origami figures were gone. All of them.
"Nope. Couldn't have been important," concluded Prime as Megatron came in with his drink.
Outside, nothing happened and nobody came.
This continued for a long, long time.
THE END.
----------------------------
31/5/01
---
THE TRANSFORMERS: "BIZARRE"
Written by Ralph Burns.
-------------------------------------------
"I love what you've done with your hair," replied Megatron. "It looks super."
"Thanks." mumbled Optimus Prime as he lounged back on his hammock, hastily strung up between two sturdy oak trees. It was a lovely day in the park today. "I just wasn't sure. You know what I'm like about hair." His ginger wig slipped a little as he spoke. Prime swore angrily and he quickly re-adjusted it.
Over by the picnic hamper, Megatron dug into some steel and graphite sandwiches. They had been his favourite for as long as he could remember.
"So, Megsey, what shall we do today?"
Megatron coldly regarded the hot sun beating down from the clear blue sky. Nearby, a few swans flew gracefully by. "Let's just stay here. Watch the world go by."
And so they did. Nothing happened and nobody came.
As dawn fell, Prime transformed into his truck mode and ferried himself and Megatron back to their cottage in the hills. It was in the old rustic style and was full of bric-a-brac they had picked up on their journeys.
When they got there, Megatron slithered away to his room. "See you tomorrow. I'm beat." he declared with a wave before retiring for the night.
Prime slouched around in the living room for a little while, tinkering with his collection of antique clocks. Eventually, he settled to lying back on his favourite couch and indulging in a bit of origami. He so enjoyed doing that. After a few hours he had produced an aeroplane, a duck, the eiffel tower and five hundred neural interfaces. He always felt the compulsion to make the later, though had no clear idea why. He much preferred ducks anyway.
Exhausted, he fell asleep on the couch.
Nothing else happened.
"Boo!" shouted Megatron.
Prime awoke to find his flatmate hitting him over the head with an inflatable sauce-pan. This angered him greatly and so he retaliated with a inflatable sheep.
The fun and games continued for some time.
Tired, the two settled into their easy-chairs and poured themselves an unleaded oil each.
"What will we do now?!" exclaimed Megatron excitedly.
There were no sounds from outside.
Prime contemplated dust molecules for a few seconds.
"Let's go for a walk in the village." he concluded
"Super!" shrieked his companion.
The village was quiet, but then it usually was. Rows of semi-detached Edwardian period cottages lined every street. There was no litter, no sound and a lack of morning papers lying on mats outside homes. No bottles of milk either. Nobody lived in the cottages.
Megatron quietly hummed 'Charge of the light brigade' to himself.
"Megsey," queried Prime as they automatically settled into a quick march. "Have you ever thought of how quiet it is round here?"
"Eh? That's just the way it is."
"Have you never thought to travel again? To go somewhere different for a change?"
Megatron paused in his march. Gravel ground itself out of existence underfoot. "Why? Everything we need is here."
"It was just a thought."
"Look, you're starting to worry me now. Let's go to the AD cafe for a nice cup of cocoa."
They entered the old cafe and quickly made themselves cocoa. They even had a couple of chocolate digestives too. There were no other customers.
An enjoyable afternoon was spent chatting about various issues. There was an amusing moment as they left when Megatron got his gun arm caught in the door and got stuck for a few minutes. Prime had found it extremely difficult to keep his face straight, even though he didn't have a mouth.
That night, after his companion had gone to sleep, Prime sat restlessly on the edge of his bed, fidgeting with a basketball. He had become increasingly restless of late. He tried a few slam dunks into his basketball hoop, then went to bed, troubled.
He awoke with a start in the middle of the night.
Shreds of paper were by his bed. He must have being doing origami in his sleep again. One of the shapes he had constructed was that of a computer monitor, just like the one which sat on top of his well polished desk.
He shook his head with confusion and his wig fell off. He stared at it mournfully.
Damn it. He needed some air.
Tip-toeing, so as not to wake up Megatron, he exited the cottage.
Once outside, he decided to go for a drive to help clear his mind. Once he had assumed the form of a truck, he hit the road. He drove on through the night and further than ever before.
It came as something of a shock then when he hit an invisible barrier. The air fractured into pixels before reforming.
Prime was rendered immediately non-operational.
He therefore failed to notice the computer script which began to scrawl across the sky.
>>>Program AFTER-DEATH (AD). V 6.7. (Variant Artificial Computer Generated Environment Analysis on Alien Lifeforms). Self-awareness of duplicate VR copies of subjects Megatron and Optimus Prime beginning to return. Purge action activation in 10...9...<<<
"You look awful!" shrieked Megatron in shock as he helped his friend into a wicker chair. "What happened to you?"
Prime rubbed his forehead absently. "Tyre puncture. Little crash. I'll be alright. I...I..."
Megatron continued to fuss about Prime. "Hang on, I'll go fetch a nice cooling glass of ginger beer and lime. Back in a tick." He ambled off into the kitchen.
Prime sat in silence. There had been something else, hadn't there?
He didn't notice that his origami figures were gone. All of them.
"Nope. Couldn't have been important," concluded Prime as Megatron came in with his drink.
Outside, nothing happened and nobody came.
This continued for a long, long time.
THE END.
----------------------------
31/5/01
