Post by dyrl on Feb 19, 2009 10:54:56 GMT
An old story I wrote a long time ago, I can't remember if I ever shared it with the Hub. Anyways, I re-read it, and I liked it, so here it is:
Insecticon lovers might find this worthwhile reading.
-pete
--------------------------------
"I thought you were my friend-?"
The words gave Kickback pause, jarring him more painfully than a laser blast. His victims usually begged for mercy or spent their last moments flying into hysterical frenzies, but this one ... whether on purpose or by accident ... had struck a chord. Kickback's mind raced back over the centuries, back to a more innocent day and age; when his home world, Cybertron, was unscarred by war and stood as a testimony to the marvels of a machine society. In those days, Kickback was, like the majority of his fellows, an Autobot. He was initially content with his lot, finding the society of his peers to be one of decency and respect, but something in side of him yearned for more and every time he turned to one of his fellow Autobots in search of kinship ... he was met with rigid and dry platitudes about "unclean thoughts," about "duty" about how "ambition is the beginning of the end" ... in short ... Kickback found himself without friends and in the company of robots shorn of imagination. This was the impetus that drove him to become a double agent for a small sect of radicals called Decepticons; this and the fact that one of them ... a certain Bombshell ... had become someone Kickback had longed to have since days immemorial: a true friend.
"I thought you were my friend-?"
Kickback whimpered, fear mingled with disbelief, he could hardly bring himself to comprehend what was happening to him now. Bombshell stood over him, clouded by the smoke pluming from a wound in Kickback's abdomen. The searing pain emanating from that wound was overshadowed only by the pain deep within Kickback's fuel pump ... the pain of betrayal; the anguish of one who'd been deceived by those closest to him.
Bombshell chuckled, raising the muzzle of his weapon and aiming it right into Kickback's face. "You always were gullible. Quite amusing, really. And you seriously thought to become a Decepticon?"
"I succeeded -" Kickback coughed, straining to continue, "I succeeded in my task, Bombshell! I have connections everywhere in the Autobot's upper hierarchy ... I got you the plans for the experimental fuel, I provided everything I'd promised! What gives!?"
"What gives receives not, my dear Kickback." Bombshell snarled, "You did indeed perform flawlessly ... in fact, I'd say you performed your task like a reall Autobot ... with diligence, determination, and above all, that naïve disregard for self-interest which characterizes their psychological type! How predictable!"
"What-what are you saying?" Kickback felt himself growing weaker and weaker as the energon continued to gush from his gaping wound, despite the efforts of his internal repair systems.
"I'm saying, Kickback; that I shall bring the fruits of your efforts to Shockwave and garnish his good favors! As for you ... you were merely my tool, a means to an end ... did you really think I'd let you take the glory for this mission?" Bombshell cackled like a lunatic once again ... it scared Kickback, but the espionage agent feigned resolve and spoke again:
"Bombshell-we-we agreed that we'd come before Shockwave together! That you'd benefit from bringing him not only the Autobot secret plans, but also a new warrior, that-."
"Yes, yes ... we said a lot didn't we?" Bombshell grinned, "But the Decepticons are a back stabbing and competitive lot. And you're ambitious Kickback ... ambitious enough to betray your Autobot brethren because somewhere deep down your instinct tells you joining the Decepticons will gain you more power! But you've miscalculated ... you see, if you've betrayed them ... you'd one day betray me-and what would I gain from bringing another competitor into the fold?"
"I-told-you-." Kickback felt himself losing consciousness. His systems kicked into over-drive, tapping emergency power reserves. He hovered dangerously close to stasis lock, "I told you-.Bombshell-I would-never-betray-you-you're my friend-the Autobots-never-befriended-me-told you-"
"Oh yes, yes ... that was quite a fascinating story you told Kickback. Quite fascinating," Bombshell chuckled, "It certainly peaked my interest as a psychologist. Here was an Autobot espionage officer turning against his own for a most puzzling reason ... because he could not find friendship amongst his peers, because his peers were respectful of all, but loving of no one ... or at least-not of him, because he had no one to share his most intimate thoughts with, because no one would be his soul-mate-all very tantalizing-and all of it very attractive to me if for no other reason than its' rarity as a psychological case- but there was one problem, dear Kickback-one little problem ... you knew I was a psychologist, you know what my most intimate fascinations and desires were ... in short ... you knew how to wet my appetite ... get at what was most important and intriguing to me- and use it to your own end ... gaining access to Commander Shockwave!"
"No-" Kickback cringed, shaking his head, "It's not like that-"
"Oh I think it is, Kickback." Bombshell snarled, pressing his weapon up against Kickback's head violently and yelling: "I think that's exactly what it's like! I think if I don't terminate you now ... then one day it'll be you pointing the gun at me!"
"For-Primus' sake Bombshell! You have to believe me!" Kickback moaned, all strength leaving him, "All I ever wanted was a friend! Someone to love and trust! And I was ready to give just as much in return! I thought that's what being a Decepticon was all about! Whenever Megatron speaks of our destiny as a race ... what else is he talking about but that?!"
"If you really believe what you're saying Kickback; it's all the more reason why you deserve the fate you've earned now," Bombshell smirked, "Realize this fool: friendship is a lie. And those who believe in it end up like this." Bombshell fired his weapon at pointblank range, but just as he did, Kickback slumped to the ground, limp from loss of energon. The round missed his head, slamming into the floor behind him. Bombshell shrugged, kicking the motionless body that lay at his feet. The Decepticon psychologist left.
* * *
"Ah ... Bombshell. You have returned." Shockwave stood erect, observing the various monitors arrayed in the Decepticon headquarter's control room.
"Yes, Commander Shockwave. And I have completed my mission successfully. The Autobot's experimental fuel plans are-"
"On the screen just to my left." Shockwave pointed at the aforementioned screen, which did indeed feature the plans. "You have expended energy unnecessarily."
"What?! But how?" Bombshell was shocked. His surprise only increased when Kickback emerged from the shadows. The Espionage officer's facial expression was cold and disinterested.
"Kickback has reported to me that you were successful in acquiring his services as a double agent against the Autobot forces. This is commendable." Shockwave turned to Bombshell. "What strikes me as illogical, however, is your insistence on acquiring the plans your self, despite Kickback having reliably provided them for us. Was there a miscommunication between yourselves? Are you perhaps falling prey to some manner of paranoia? I have been collating all logical possibilities for this anomalous situation since it originated, and am unable to compute a logical inference. Please confer with Kickback and prepare a report giving due cause for your actions so that we may avoid such future inconveniences."
* * *
Bombshell was silent, his face radiating a mixture of anger and embarrassment. Kickback was completely cold, which annoyed the Decepticon psychologist further. Clearly the spy had used a clone in his place ... a predictable and childish deception, but one that Bombshell simply hadn't expected of the "noble' Kickback. Still ... what was unsettling was the fact that Bombshell could not even detect a hint of gloating in Kickback's disposition. Once they were clear of the control room, Kickback abruptly turned to Bombshell. The two stood opposite one another, silent for a moment.
"Used a clone, did you?" Bombshell chuckled familiarly, "Well Kickback ... I'm impressed ... perhaps you do have what it takes to be a Decepti---aaaccck!" Without warning, Bombshell found himself lifted into the air; Kickback's razor-sharp claws grasped his neck like a vice.
"Listen ... and listen carefully. I thought you were my friend ... I thought I'd finally found someone to prove to me that this world wasn't full of self-centered egomaniacs or dull and boorish morons who simply did their duty and never asked questions! I thought I'd finally found someone who shared an authentic desire to live rather than just-get by ... one way or another-But no ... I guess not. I guess I must just have a glitch for thinking that way. So be it. The world wants me to learn my lesson and drop my illusions? Fine. Let's start now: You tell Shockwave exactly what happened- and exactly how much of an incompetent loser you are and how I bested you! You'll announce to him that I am more worthy of leadership in the Decepticon ranks than you are ... or I will finish you." Kickback paused for effect, narrowing his optics, "And trust me Bombshell ... I can tell a clone from the real thing."
Bombshell struggled, trying to cackle, but failing to do even that. Finally, he uttered a meek "uh-huh" and Kickback dropped him to the floor. The psychologist scurried off, leaving Kickback with a sense of loss. He'd won his life, won his position in the ranks of the Decepticons ... but it didn't matter. He'd lost his old illusions forever. He'd lost his dream of being able to connect with another being in a manner not based on self-interest or survival-but merely on friendship. And he'd remember the loss to the end of his days.
* * *
"Really?" Kickback backed away from Broad-Cast; curiosity getting the better of him. "You really thought I was your friend?"
"Y-yes-of course!" Broad-Cast tried to pick himself up off the floor. Only moments ago, Kickback had stunned him with a shattering blow in insect mode, and was now moving in for the kill in his robot configuration. Broad-Cast fumbled for support, finding it in the wall, and balancing his battered form. "For the love of Primus, Kickback ... what's-gotten into you? All the time we spent talking ... all the adventures we'd shared-you're the only one who knows about my feelings for Ja'Lala- you doubt my friendship?"
"Not at all Broad-Cast." Kickback replied dryly. "I doubt my friendship." With that, the Insecticon shot the Autobot communications officer, rupturing his armor and shattering his body. With a seasoned calm, Kickback approached Broad-Cast's work station and plugged himself in, by-passing all of the security codes (which Broad-Cast had shown him on the night Ja'Lala had agreed to be his mate ... after Kickback's intervention) and proceeded to record a host of information per his mission's M.O.
The hours passed, and Kickback, having acquired what he came for, proceeded to exit the com station. Kickback checked the time and counted down, "three, two, one ... mark. Shrapnel you bastard ... you better come through!" He moved out of the com station and transformed into his grass hopper mode, making way for his star cruiser in leaps and bounds. Sub-sonic frequency detectors intercepted a familiar electrical current filling the air ... it was a special surveillance disruptor frequency that Shrapnel would routinely emit to block all radar devices that might have a chance of catching Kickback upon his forays to and from targets. Kickback had initially been reluctant to place the responsibility for such an important component of his missions into Shrapnel's hands. After all ... escaping or getting inside a compound was an extremely risky business, and to rely on some one else to do it was-naïve to say the least. But Shrapnel was the only one with the technical expertise to pull it off, and besides, Kickback had made sure to wire a feed between his CPU and the CPU of his personal shuttle craft (where Shrapnel and Bombshell routinely awaited his return from such missions). Were his CPU to fail due to treachery on Shrapnel or Bombshell's part, the shuttle would automatically self destruct. True; it was kind of cruel, since conceivably, Kickback could be captured and killed without either Shrapnel or Bombshell being at fault, in which case their subsequent deaths would be unjustified ... but ... what was "justice' but a catch phrase to lure the gullible likes of Broad-Cast and others to Kickback's service?
Upon reaching the shuttle safely, Kickback reverted to robot mode. Shrapnel stood motionless on a hill side, acting "the electrical pole," as they liked to call it.
"All set ... let's book." Kickback nodded. The two Insecticons boarded the shuttle and, as if on cue, Bombshell gunned its' engines, simultaneously cloaking it. It was dawn of the next day before the Autobots of Asteroid Outpost 11-91 discovered Broad-Cast's remains and the virus that Kickback left in their computer as a going away present. By that time, the Insecticons were seven thousand light years away ... in another galaxy altogether.
* * *
"Excellent work, Insecticons." Onslaught nodded in affirmation over the main-view screen on the Insecticon's shuttle bridge. "As usual, the intelligence you provided will be of great tactical use to our efforts."
"As usual, we expect to be paid handsomely." Shrapnel replied coolly. "Shrapnel out." Flicking the monitor off, the Insecticon commander turned to his comrades. "So Kickback ... what's wrong?"
"Wrong?" Kickback was taken off guard by the question, as was Bombshell, who nonetheless relished it, as it meant that he and Shrapnel could gang up on the arrogant grass hopper again.
"Yes, wrong." Shrapnel continued, "You returned to the shuttle in an unusually quick pace and were very adamant about leaving the planet, even though I covered your retreat adequately. Why were you so twitchy? What happened in the com station that made you want to leave like that?"
"Oh-" Kickback smiled, "So over the last five missions it's "Kickback can't you hurry it up, Kickback can't you be more efficient, Kickback I insist you make haste' ... and when I finally do what my commander's been pushing for I get psycho-analyzed by you and quasar-brain here?"
"Bah!" Shrapnel relented, letting the espionage officer get up and go. Bombshell growled, feeling as if he'd missed the chance at learning of some new weakness in Kickback ... some new means to exploit in bettering his position. Still, the psychologist thought, Kickback had deflected Shrapnel's question through light-hearted humor-and then hastily left the room. The indication here is that the humor was a façade and that something had indeed disturbed him on outpost 11-91. But what?
* * *
Several days later, Kickback was on his own ... or at least, he felt rather sure he was on his own. What with the Insecticon's mutual habit of spying on one another, one could never be sure. Certainly there were thousands of precautions to be taken upon taking leave of the group. One could not simply "go off and do what you liked,' ... one had first to be sure that one was truly alone and could in fact do what he liked. Thus, Kickback made the rounds through all of the bars and strip-joints that Bombshell and Shrapnel expected him to hang out in. He feigned drunkenness and talked to all of Bombshell and Shrapnel's "plants' and "informants' in various low-life establishments. For good measure, Kickback would make sure to tell each of them different things, thus giving Bombshell and Shrapnel scrambled and conflicting information ... a sure way to keep them guessing and divided. Finally, after going through the whole routine ... Kickback would slowly but surely test, to the best of his ability, whether or not he was being surveyed or followed before actually embarking on whatever real journey or task he wished to undertake.
Fairly sure of his security, Kickback had made way for Cyberworld 4939 and arranged to see Ja'Lala ... widow of his former "best friend.' She was, of course, thrilled to see him and exploded into a sobbing torrent of thanks at his arrival. She lamented the fact that half of Broad-Casts' "so-called friends" didn't even show up at the funeral, that everything Kickback had predicted about them was true, that Broad-Cast really did love her and that she was a fool for not seeing it sooner ... she repeated all of this with a conviction that almost made Kickback forget that it was the result of a cerebro-shell that Bombshell had implanted into her brain, per Kickback's request, in order to get her to mate with Broad-Cast so that the Insecticon spy could claim the Autobot communication officer's friendship by having supposedly "convinced' his beloved to be with him.
Kickback knew all this ... but he also knew that the effects of a cerebro shell implant ... the "new" reality it imbibed upon its' victim ... was irreversible. Kickback couldn't explain to Ja'Lala that prior to her sudden "change of heart," she hadn't even noticed that Broad-Cast had feelings for her; hadn't even noticed he was alive. It would have been futile to explain to her that what she thought of as her friends' "betraying her" was simply their natural reaction to the fact that ... under the cerebro-shell's impact- she'd suddenly radically altered her life, left her mate of two hundred vorns, renounced many friendships, crossed the galaxy ... all to be with Broad-Cast-someone she'd never thought about, let alone talked about ... to anyone ... prior to the event. Kickback didn't bother telling her any of this ... it would have done no good. There was no way to reverse the effects of the cerebro shell ... and they would be felt by Ja'Lala as if they were the true and real result of her deepest will and sentiment. Kickback accepted all this and comforted her on the loss of Broad-Cast. Then, the Insecticon spoke to her:
"Remember this Ja'Lala ... Broad-Cast truly loved you- your friends-your so-called friends-they all said that he was merely infatuated ... and at first I thought the same. But then-just before he died, I realized something about Broad-Cast- he didn't know the difference between love and infatuation ... he was so naïve-in a way-so childishly simple in his feelings ... that for him ... there was nothing but love and friendship- maybe it's good that he died like that-thinking like that ... maybe it saved him from becoming cynical and coarse like everyone around you who thought your love was simply crazy- I just-I want you to remember that ...remember that people like Broad-Cast truly do exist ... they're out there and-when you're done grieving-don't go back to your old ways ... seek them out-find those kind of people ... and love them just as much as they love you-and if anyone ever asks you "why?'-walk away from the question."
She looked at him, perplexed, not really knowing what to say. Finally, she asked, "Did you love him as much as he loved you Kickback?-"
"No." Kickback frowned. "I don't think-I don't think I can anymore-I don't think I'm capable of it-I was once-but-not any more."
"Maybe-" Ja'Lala put her hand on the Insecticon's shoulder, soothingly, "Maybe you are ... if you know enough to recognize a good heart in Broad-Cast-"
"Grieve Ja'Lala. Grieve and seek out another like him ... good bye." Kickback turned away and left.
On his flight back to the Insecticon's layer, he considered how silly what he'd done was. After all, Ja'Lala's "love' was nothing but the result of Bombshell's cerebro shell, and her newly found gullibility was so great that she was prepared to embrace her slain lover's murderer as her new mate. Bombshell might have appreciated the sadism of what Kickback had done ... but Kickback didn't see it like that. Broad-Cast's question haunted him-"I thought you were my friend?"- And the Insecticon espionage officer considered whether or not Broad-Cast's death in that state of belief ... in that naïve belief that friendship and love were possibilities in this insane universe ... was not-a blessing denied to Kickback himself?
Fin
Insecticon lovers might find this worthwhile reading.
-pete
--------------------------------
"I thought you were my friend-?"
The words gave Kickback pause, jarring him more painfully than a laser blast. His victims usually begged for mercy or spent their last moments flying into hysterical frenzies, but this one ... whether on purpose or by accident ... had struck a chord. Kickback's mind raced back over the centuries, back to a more innocent day and age; when his home world, Cybertron, was unscarred by war and stood as a testimony to the marvels of a machine society. In those days, Kickback was, like the majority of his fellows, an Autobot. He was initially content with his lot, finding the society of his peers to be one of decency and respect, but something in side of him yearned for more and every time he turned to one of his fellow Autobots in search of kinship ... he was met with rigid and dry platitudes about "unclean thoughts," about "duty" about how "ambition is the beginning of the end" ... in short ... Kickback found himself without friends and in the company of robots shorn of imagination. This was the impetus that drove him to become a double agent for a small sect of radicals called Decepticons; this and the fact that one of them ... a certain Bombshell ... had become someone Kickback had longed to have since days immemorial: a true friend.
"I thought you were my friend-?"
Kickback whimpered, fear mingled with disbelief, he could hardly bring himself to comprehend what was happening to him now. Bombshell stood over him, clouded by the smoke pluming from a wound in Kickback's abdomen. The searing pain emanating from that wound was overshadowed only by the pain deep within Kickback's fuel pump ... the pain of betrayal; the anguish of one who'd been deceived by those closest to him.
Bombshell chuckled, raising the muzzle of his weapon and aiming it right into Kickback's face. "You always were gullible. Quite amusing, really. And you seriously thought to become a Decepticon?"
"I succeeded -" Kickback coughed, straining to continue, "I succeeded in my task, Bombshell! I have connections everywhere in the Autobot's upper hierarchy ... I got you the plans for the experimental fuel, I provided everything I'd promised! What gives!?"
"What gives receives not, my dear Kickback." Bombshell snarled, "You did indeed perform flawlessly ... in fact, I'd say you performed your task like a reall Autobot ... with diligence, determination, and above all, that naïve disregard for self-interest which characterizes their psychological type! How predictable!"
"What-what are you saying?" Kickback felt himself growing weaker and weaker as the energon continued to gush from his gaping wound, despite the efforts of his internal repair systems.
"I'm saying, Kickback; that I shall bring the fruits of your efforts to Shockwave and garnish his good favors! As for you ... you were merely my tool, a means to an end ... did you really think I'd let you take the glory for this mission?" Bombshell cackled like a lunatic once again ... it scared Kickback, but the espionage agent feigned resolve and spoke again:
"Bombshell-we-we agreed that we'd come before Shockwave together! That you'd benefit from bringing him not only the Autobot secret plans, but also a new warrior, that-."
"Yes, yes ... we said a lot didn't we?" Bombshell grinned, "But the Decepticons are a back stabbing and competitive lot. And you're ambitious Kickback ... ambitious enough to betray your Autobot brethren because somewhere deep down your instinct tells you joining the Decepticons will gain you more power! But you've miscalculated ... you see, if you've betrayed them ... you'd one day betray me-and what would I gain from bringing another competitor into the fold?"
"I-told-you-." Kickback felt himself losing consciousness. His systems kicked into over-drive, tapping emergency power reserves. He hovered dangerously close to stasis lock, "I told you-.Bombshell-I would-never-betray-you-you're my friend-the Autobots-never-befriended-me-told you-"
"Oh yes, yes ... that was quite a fascinating story you told Kickback. Quite fascinating," Bombshell chuckled, "It certainly peaked my interest as a psychologist. Here was an Autobot espionage officer turning against his own for a most puzzling reason ... because he could not find friendship amongst his peers, because his peers were respectful of all, but loving of no one ... or at least-not of him, because he had no one to share his most intimate thoughts with, because no one would be his soul-mate-all very tantalizing-and all of it very attractive to me if for no other reason than its' rarity as a psychological case- but there was one problem, dear Kickback-one little problem ... you knew I was a psychologist, you know what my most intimate fascinations and desires were ... in short ... you knew how to wet my appetite ... get at what was most important and intriguing to me- and use it to your own end ... gaining access to Commander Shockwave!"
"No-" Kickback cringed, shaking his head, "It's not like that-"
"Oh I think it is, Kickback." Bombshell snarled, pressing his weapon up against Kickback's head violently and yelling: "I think that's exactly what it's like! I think if I don't terminate you now ... then one day it'll be you pointing the gun at me!"
"For-Primus' sake Bombshell! You have to believe me!" Kickback moaned, all strength leaving him, "All I ever wanted was a friend! Someone to love and trust! And I was ready to give just as much in return! I thought that's what being a Decepticon was all about! Whenever Megatron speaks of our destiny as a race ... what else is he talking about but that?!"
"If you really believe what you're saying Kickback; it's all the more reason why you deserve the fate you've earned now," Bombshell smirked, "Realize this fool: friendship is a lie. And those who believe in it end up like this." Bombshell fired his weapon at pointblank range, but just as he did, Kickback slumped to the ground, limp from loss of energon. The round missed his head, slamming into the floor behind him. Bombshell shrugged, kicking the motionless body that lay at his feet. The Decepticon psychologist left.
* * *
"Ah ... Bombshell. You have returned." Shockwave stood erect, observing the various monitors arrayed in the Decepticon headquarter's control room.
"Yes, Commander Shockwave. And I have completed my mission successfully. The Autobot's experimental fuel plans are-"
"On the screen just to my left." Shockwave pointed at the aforementioned screen, which did indeed feature the plans. "You have expended energy unnecessarily."
"What?! But how?" Bombshell was shocked. His surprise only increased when Kickback emerged from the shadows. The Espionage officer's facial expression was cold and disinterested.
"Kickback has reported to me that you were successful in acquiring his services as a double agent against the Autobot forces. This is commendable." Shockwave turned to Bombshell. "What strikes me as illogical, however, is your insistence on acquiring the plans your self, despite Kickback having reliably provided them for us. Was there a miscommunication between yourselves? Are you perhaps falling prey to some manner of paranoia? I have been collating all logical possibilities for this anomalous situation since it originated, and am unable to compute a logical inference. Please confer with Kickback and prepare a report giving due cause for your actions so that we may avoid such future inconveniences."
* * *
Bombshell was silent, his face radiating a mixture of anger and embarrassment. Kickback was completely cold, which annoyed the Decepticon psychologist further. Clearly the spy had used a clone in his place ... a predictable and childish deception, but one that Bombshell simply hadn't expected of the "noble' Kickback. Still ... what was unsettling was the fact that Bombshell could not even detect a hint of gloating in Kickback's disposition. Once they were clear of the control room, Kickback abruptly turned to Bombshell. The two stood opposite one another, silent for a moment.
"Used a clone, did you?" Bombshell chuckled familiarly, "Well Kickback ... I'm impressed ... perhaps you do have what it takes to be a Decepti---aaaccck!" Without warning, Bombshell found himself lifted into the air; Kickback's razor-sharp claws grasped his neck like a vice.
"Listen ... and listen carefully. I thought you were my friend ... I thought I'd finally found someone to prove to me that this world wasn't full of self-centered egomaniacs or dull and boorish morons who simply did their duty and never asked questions! I thought I'd finally found someone who shared an authentic desire to live rather than just-get by ... one way or another-But no ... I guess not. I guess I must just have a glitch for thinking that way. So be it. The world wants me to learn my lesson and drop my illusions? Fine. Let's start now: You tell Shockwave exactly what happened- and exactly how much of an incompetent loser you are and how I bested you! You'll announce to him that I am more worthy of leadership in the Decepticon ranks than you are ... or I will finish you." Kickback paused for effect, narrowing his optics, "And trust me Bombshell ... I can tell a clone from the real thing."
Bombshell struggled, trying to cackle, but failing to do even that. Finally, he uttered a meek "uh-huh" and Kickback dropped him to the floor. The psychologist scurried off, leaving Kickback with a sense of loss. He'd won his life, won his position in the ranks of the Decepticons ... but it didn't matter. He'd lost his old illusions forever. He'd lost his dream of being able to connect with another being in a manner not based on self-interest or survival-but merely on friendship. And he'd remember the loss to the end of his days.
* * *
"Really?" Kickback backed away from Broad-Cast; curiosity getting the better of him. "You really thought I was your friend?"
"Y-yes-of course!" Broad-Cast tried to pick himself up off the floor. Only moments ago, Kickback had stunned him with a shattering blow in insect mode, and was now moving in for the kill in his robot configuration. Broad-Cast fumbled for support, finding it in the wall, and balancing his battered form. "For the love of Primus, Kickback ... what's-gotten into you? All the time we spent talking ... all the adventures we'd shared-you're the only one who knows about my feelings for Ja'Lala- you doubt my friendship?"
"Not at all Broad-Cast." Kickback replied dryly. "I doubt my friendship." With that, the Insecticon shot the Autobot communications officer, rupturing his armor and shattering his body. With a seasoned calm, Kickback approached Broad-Cast's work station and plugged himself in, by-passing all of the security codes (which Broad-Cast had shown him on the night Ja'Lala had agreed to be his mate ... after Kickback's intervention) and proceeded to record a host of information per his mission's M.O.
The hours passed, and Kickback, having acquired what he came for, proceeded to exit the com station. Kickback checked the time and counted down, "three, two, one ... mark. Shrapnel you bastard ... you better come through!" He moved out of the com station and transformed into his grass hopper mode, making way for his star cruiser in leaps and bounds. Sub-sonic frequency detectors intercepted a familiar electrical current filling the air ... it was a special surveillance disruptor frequency that Shrapnel would routinely emit to block all radar devices that might have a chance of catching Kickback upon his forays to and from targets. Kickback had initially been reluctant to place the responsibility for such an important component of his missions into Shrapnel's hands. After all ... escaping or getting inside a compound was an extremely risky business, and to rely on some one else to do it was-naïve to say the least. But Shrapnel was the only one with the technical expertise to pull it off, and besides, Kickback had made sure to wire a feed between his CPU and the CPU of his personal shuttle craft (where Shrapnel and Bombshell routinely awaited his return from such missions). Were his CPU to fail due to treachery on Shrapnel or Bombshell's part, the shuttle would automatically self destruct. True; it was kind of cruel, since conceivably, Kickback could be captured and killed without either Shrapnel or Bombshell being at fault, in which case their subsequent deaths would be unjustified ... but ... what was "justice' but a catch phrase to lure the gullible likes of Broad-Cast and others to Kickback's service?
Upon reaching the shuttle safely, Kickback reverted to robot mode. Shrapnel stood motionless on a hill side, acting "the electrical pole," as they liked to call it.
"All set ... let's book." Kickback nodded. The two Insecticons boarded the shuttle and, as if on cue, Bombshell gunned its' engines, simultaneously cloaking it. It was dawn of the next day before the Autobots of Asteroid Outpost 11-91 discovered Broad-Cast's remains and the virus that Kickback left in their computer as a going away present. By that time, the Insecticons were seven thousand light years away ... in another galaxy altogether.
* * *
"Excellent work, Insecticons." Onslaught nodded in affirmation over the main-view screen on the Insecticon's shuttle bridge. "As usual, the intelligence you provided will be of great tactical use to our efforts."
"As usual, we expect to be paid handsomely." Shrapnel replied coolly. "Shrapnel out." Flicking the monitor off, the Insecticon commander turned to his comrades. "So Kickback ... what's wrong?"
"Wrong?" Kickback was taken off guard by the question, as was Bombshell, who nonetheless relished it, as it meant that he and Shrapnel could gang up on the arrogant grass hopper again.
"Yes, wrong." Shrapnel continued, "You returned to the shuttle in an unusually quick pace and were very adamant about leaving the planet, even though I covered your retreat adequately. Why were you so twitchy? What happened in the com station that made you want to leave like that?"
"Oh-" Kickback smiled, "So over the last five missions it's "Kickback can't you hurry it up, Kickback can't you be more efficient, Kickback I insist you make haste' ... and when I finally do what my commander's been pushing for I get psycho-analyzed by you and quasar-brain here?"
"Bah!" Shrapnel relented, letting the espionage officer get up and go. Bombshell growled, feeling as if he'd missed the chance at learning of some new weakness in Kickback ... some new means to exploit in bettering his position. Still, the psychologist thought, Kickback had deflected Shrapnel's question through light-hearted humor-and then hastily left the room. The indication here is that the humor was a façade and that something had indeed disturbed him on outpost 11-91. But what?
* * *
Several days later, Kickback was on his own ... or at least, he felt rather sure he was on his own. What with the Insecticon's mutual habit of spying on one another, one could never be sure. Certainly there were thousands of precautions to be taken upon taking leave of the group. One could not simply "go off and do what you liked,' ... one had first to be sure that one was truly alone and could in fact do what he liked. Thus, Kickback made the rounds through all of the bars and strip-joints that Bombshell and Shrapnel expected him to hang out in. He feigned drunkenness and talked to all of Bombshell and Shrapnel's "plants' and "informants' in various low-life establishments. For good measure, Kickback would make sure to tell each of them different things, thus giving Bombshell and Shrapnel scrambled and conflicting information ... a sure way to keep them guessing and divided. Finally, after going through the whole routine ... Kickback would slowly but surely test, to the best of his ability, whether or not he was being surveyed or followed before actually embarking on whatever real journey or task he wished to undertake.
Fairly sure of his security, Kickback had made way for Cyberworld 4939 and arranged to see Ja'Lala ... widow of his former "best friend.' She was, of course, thrilled to see him and exploded into a sobbing torrent of thanks at his arrival. She lamented the fact that half of Broad-Casts' "so-called friends" didn't even show up at the funeral, that everything Kickback had predicted about them was true, that Broad-Cast really did love her and that she was a fool for not seeing it sooner ... she repeated all of this with a conviction that almost made Kickback forget that it was the result of a cerebro-shell that Bombshell had implanted into her brain, per Kickback's request, in order to get her to mate with Broad-Cast so that the Insecticon spy could claim the Autobot communication officer's friendship by having supposedly "convinced' his beloved to be with him.
Kickback knew all this ... but he also knew that the effects of a cerebro shell implant ... the "new" reality it imbibed upon its' victim ... was irreversible. Kickback couldn't explain to Ja'Lala that prior to her sudden "change of heart," she hadn't even noticed that Broad-Cast had feelings for her; hadn't even noticed he was alive. It would have been futile to explain to her that what she thought of as her friends' "betraying her" was simply their natural reaction to the fact that ... under the cerebro-shell's impact- she'd suddenly radically altered her life, left her mate of two hundred vorns, renounced many friendships, crossed the galaxy ... all to be with Broad-Cast-someone she'd never thought about, let alone talked about ... to anyone ... prior to the event. Kickback didn't bother telling her any of this ... it would have done no good. There was no way to reverse the effects of the cerebro shell ... and they would be felt by Ja'Lala as if they were the true and real result of her deepest will and sentiment. Kickback accepted all this and comforted her on the loss of Broad-Cast. Then, the Insecticon spoke to her:
"Remember this Ja'Lala ... Broad-Cast truly loved you- your friends-your so-called friends-they all said that he was merely infatuated ... and at first I thought the same. But then-just before he died, I realized something about Broad-Cast- he didn't know the difference between love and infatuation ... he was so naïve-in a way-so childishly simple in his feelings ... that for him ... there was nothing but love and friendship- maybe it's good that he died like that-thinking like that ... maybe it saved him from becoming cynical and coarse like everyone around you who thought your love was simply crazy- I just-I want you to remember that ...remember that people like Broad-Cast truly do exist ... they're out there and-when you're done grieving-don't go back to your old ways ... seek them out-find those kind of people ... and love them just as much as they love you-and if anyone ever asks you "why?'-walk away from the question."
She looked at him, perplexed, not really knowing what to say. Finally, she asked, "Did you love him as much as he loved you Kickback?-"
"No." Kickback frowned. "I don't think-I don't think I can anymore-I don't think I'm capable of it-I was once-but-not any more."
"Maybe-" Ja'Lala put her hand on the Insecticon's shoulder, soothingly, "Maybe you are ... if you know enough to recognize a good heart in Broad-Cast-"
"Grieve Ja'Lala. Grieve and seek out another like him ... good bye." Kickback turned away and left.
On his flight back to the Insecticon's layer, he considered how silly what he'd done was. After all, Ja'Lala's "love' was nothing but the result of Bombshell's cerebro shell, and her newly found gullibility was so great that she was prepared to embrace her slain lover's murderer as her new mate. Bombshell might have appreciated the sadism of what Kickback had done ... but Kickback didn't see it like that. Broad-Cast's question haunted him-"I thought you were my friend?"- And the Insecticon espionage officer considered whether or not Broad-Cast's death in that state of belief ... in that naïve belief that friendship and love were possibilities in this insane universe ... was not-a blessing denied to Kickback himself?
Fin
