The Very Last Line

[andrewbcalculating]

Have you ever noticed in Transformers stories that something is always happening? Not anymore. Find out more by reading The Very Last Line here on Monday the 24th of August 2009.

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[andrewbcalculating]

The Very Last Line

Written by Andrew Borkett

Edited by Richard Ahern

Read by you

Characters

WEIRDWOLF
BATTLETRAP


Oregon, America, 1989

A wide-open rocky lava bed surrounded by distant hills

Evening

Scorponok has sent Weirdwolf and Battletrap to search for Galvatron

Weirdwolf stands with his right hand on the right side of his head receiving a communication. His head is slightly bowed down, he cannot see Battletrap.

Some distance away, Battletrap is walking with his gun in his right hand, he cannot see Weirdwolf.

WEIRDWOLF: (Sigh) Acknowledged. (He raises his head and turns it slightly to the right, peering off into the distance looking for Battletrap, to whom he prepares to send a communication to.) Scorponok has finally seen sense, rendezvous to my position immediately.

Battletrap stops walking, passes his gun from his right hand to his left hand and puts his right hand to the side of his head.

BATTLETRAP: Why? Are your legs not working?

WEIRDWOLF: Spare me your pitiful protestations and make your way to my location.

Battletrap takes his right hand away from the right hand side of his head, thereby terminating contact with Weirdwolf.

BATTLETRAP: Loser.

Silence

WEIRDWOLF: Are your audio receptors functioning?

Battletrap puts his right hand on the right side of his head.

BATTLETRAP: Yeah, I’m coming. (Tut)

Battletrap breaks communication, connects his gun to his back using his left hand and flies off. A short time later he arrives at Weirdwolf’s location and lands in front of him. Weirdwolf’s arms are crossed over his chest.

BATTLETRAP: So (puts his hand on his hips), are we waiting for Galvatran to come to us?

WEIRDWOLF: No! (He puts his hands on his hips.) We are not waiting for Galvatron, in any way shape or form. He has vanished, along with the point of this paranoia-driven, revenge mission. (Pause) We are to prepare to be transported back to base.

BATTLETRAP: Damn it! (Punches his left hand with his right fist.) I wanna get my hands on that ‘con SO much. Damn...(Lowers his still clenched fist to his side and his head drops slightly.)

WEIRDWOLF: (Points his right index finger at Battletrap.) You should feel privileged that you have had even this small opportunity for revenge, the only reason you got repaired was because of your lack of intelligence. (Crosses his arms.)

Silence

BATTLETRAP: (Thinking, then struck by a realisation he gasps and points his right index finger at Weirdwolf and takes a step towards him.) You saying I’m stupid?!

WEIRDWOLF: What I am saying is that you are good at your job. (Lowers his arms towards his legs.)

BATTLETRAP: Oh. (Pause) (Lowers his right hand in a puzzled state of mind.) Thanks.

WEIRDWOLF: You were designed to be pointed and fired. (Points at Battletrap, takes a step forward and puts his left hand on his left hip.) You fight on instinct, which is simple, but effective. (Pause) If you were more like Shockwave, for example, then you would lose your edge, as you would be wasting time working out every battle scenario (points to the sky whilst tilting his head slightly up,) including the possibility of the sky falling before you even engaged the enemy. It wouldn’t work.

(Silence)

Battletrap rubs the fingers on his left hand across his chin while his left arm is resting on his right arm, which is across the centre of his body. Several long moments pass as he thinks.

BATTLETRAP: So, is Shockwave the ’con that keeps ‘cons in his chest?

WEIRDWOLF: No, that is Soundwave. (Points to his own face.) Shockwave is the Decepticon with a yellow dot for a face.

BATTLETRAP: (Laugh) Ahhh, that freak!

Silence

WEIRDWOLF: So, we have a Decepticon with a split personality - you - calling a Decepticon with a yellow dot for a face a freak. (He puts his right hand on his right hip.) Strange.

Silence

BATTLETRAP: You calling me a freak? (Points his thumb to his chest.)

WEIRDWOLF: Evidently.

BATTLETRAP: I’m no freak; (waves his left arm dismissively and turns his back on Weirdwolf and taps his head) you’re the guy with an organic in your head. If anyone’s a freak it’s you.

WEIRDWOLF: Ah yes, Monzo, my binary-bonded companion. (Turns away from Battletrap.)

BATTLETRAP: (Curious now, he turns back) What’s the deal with that, anyway?

WEIRDWOLF: Monzo serves the odd purpose, nothing more.

BATTLETRAP: Yuck, that’s disgusting. (Turns his head away from Weirdwolf in revulsion and then turns back.) (Silence) What if that thing died in your head? Wouldn’t it rot and fry your brain module? (Shudders.)

WEIRDWOLF: Well it would certainly support the notion that my head is messed up! (Chuckles manically at his own humour. Then suddenly becomes hugely serious again) In reality, I have my memories and personality stored in my auxiliary memory circuits. A new head can be made. Combine the two together and I will be as good as new.

Silence

BATTLETRAP: Right. (Sits on the ground.) What if someone read your brain module? Would they read what the organic thinks as well?

WEIRDWOLF: Good question. I must admit, I have not considered the possibility. (Pause) (Moves his left hand from his chin and opens his fingers out.) I guess the answer lies with whoever decides our future. (He slightly clenches his left fist.)

BATTLETRAP: No-one decides my future but me.

Silence

WEIRDWOLF: So did you decide that Galvatron should demolish you? (Chuckle)

BATTLETRAP: (Slow realisation dawns and Battletrap becomes instantly furious) I’ll kill you. (Grabs his gun, stands up and points it at Weirdwolf’s head.) I'm gonna rip your head off and crush it.


WEIRDWOLF: (Unconcerned) Calm yourself, impose some restraint. (Slowly pushes Battletrap’s gun aside.)

Battletrap roars in anger and shakes Weirdwolf’s hand from his gun, but, shaking with fury, slowly lowers his own gun, and turns away.

Long silence

Battletrap walks a few more steps away from Weirdwolf, sits down and places his gun on the ground. Weirdwolf ignores him.

Long Silence

BATTLETRAP: (Sulky) When are we getting picked up?

WEIRDWOLF: A transport ship is on route to us, I have no ETA. (Silence) In the meantime, I know something that might be of interest to you.

BATTLETRAP: (Pause) What's that Weird-O? (He looks down at the ground.)

WEIRDWOLF: (Chuckle) Humourous. (Pause) Did you know that Galvatron is actually Megatron (crosses his arms)?

Silence

BATTLETRAP: What? (He looks up at Weirdwolf.) (Pause) You mean like a secret identity thing?

WEIRDWOLF: No, I mea...

BATTLETRAP: Damn, that 'con is messed up!

WEIRDWOLF: Possibly, but what I was going to say was that Galvatron is a future version of Megatron.

Silence

BATTLETRAP: Huh? (Pause) A future version? (Pause) (He looks away from Weirdwolf and then looks back.) How? (Pause) They don't look the same?

WEIRDWOLF: (Tut) (Walks a few steps to the left and then walks a few more steps to the right.) I wasn't briefed on all the details, but I was told that Galvatron is a future version of Megatron in a new body. Don't ask me if they have the same personality because I don't know. (Crosses his hands behind his back.)

Silence

BATTLETRAP: (Sniggers) New body. (Points at Weirdwolf.) You’d be good at that.

WEIRDWOLF: What do you mean?

BATTLETRAP: (He picks up his gun, stands, and reattaches his gun to his back.) You’re a Headmaster, right? You can take off your head and so can all the other Headmasters?

WEIRDWOLF: Obviously, your point being?

BATTLETRAP: Think about it. (Raises both his arms from his elbows and opens up the palms of his hands.) Haven’t you ever wanted to put your head on another Headmaster’s body? (Mimics raising and lowering his own head.)

WEIRDWOLF: (Groans) Who programmed you?

BATTLETRAP: You could have your head on Skullcruncher’s body or even on Mindwipe’s body. Or,(gasps) Scorponok! (Pause) Your head on Scorponok’s body! (He clenches his right fist, raises his right arm at his elbow and shakes his right arm.) Imagine crushing some Autobot with Scorponok’s claw! (He puts his hands on his hips.) (Pause) Or what about your head on an Autobot Headmaster body? (Raises his arm and makes his right hand into the shape of a gun.) You could walk up to Optimus Prime and blow his brain module out! No one would see you coming!

Silence

WEIRDWOLF: Wouldn’t it raise suspicions if my head was on an Autobot body?

BATTLETRAP: Those dumb ’bots would be to busy trying to make (Pause) Footmasters (raises his left arm from the shoulder in a dismissive manner and then puts his left hand back on his left hip) or something.

WEIRDWOLF: If only that were true. (Rubs his neck with his left hand.)

BATTLETRAP: (Sniggers) Ask your head if it knows anyone who wants to be a Legmaster! (Laughing, he sits down on the ground and looks down.)

WEIRDWOLF: (Chuckles manically) Legmasters may be a little extreme even for the Autobots. (Pause) But there must be some psychological imbalance within their ranks. Do you remember the recent antics of Highbrow? (Rubs his chin with his left thumb and then crosses his arms.)

BATTLETRAP: Who? (He looks up towards Weirdwolf.)

WEIRDWOLF: The Autobot Headmaster who stole Scorponok’s head?

BATTLETRAP: (Sniggers) Oh yeah, that was funny. (Looks at the ground.)

Silence

WEIRDWOLF: I think it goes far beyond humour on Highbrow’s part. (He takes a couple of small steps forward and then a step back.) As Highbrow didn’t dispose of Scorponok’s head after he took it, I wonder if he saw the head as some kind of companion?

BATTLETRAP: Do you think he was talking to it? (He puts his right hand out in front of his face as if he is holding something and moves that hand left and right at the wrist.) “Hello Scorponok, do you like being away from your body?’ ‘No?’ ‘Well don’t loose your head over it.” (Sniggers)

Silence

WEIRDWOLF: If Highbrow did speak to the head then neither Scorponok nor Zarak inside would have answered back. Highbrow pulled off the head before Scorponok or Zarak could initiate the required mental commands causing both to go into system shutdown.

BATTLETRAP: (Looks up at Weirdwolf and points at him.) What if you’re in the middle of a fight, and Moza there needs to recharge or have a system shutdown, what happens then?

WEIRDWOLF: (Groans then rubs his face slowly with his left hand and then brings his left hand to rest just below his chin.) There are procedures in place that accommodate those eventualities, but because of their complexity I’m sure you would lose whatever interest you still have in this subject if I tried to explain them.

BATTLETRAP: (Groans) (Pause) What-a-MESS! (Pause) What does an organic know about being a ’con anyway? (He opens up his fingers.) Squat. That’s what.

Silence

WEIRDWOLF: Well, as a result of Zarak’s influence, we might see more interaction between Decepticons and organics. (Puts his hands behind his back and walks slowly along a rough arc.) (Thinks) Maybe that is the underlining reason why we actually came to Earth. (Pause) Maybe Zarak is looking to recruit more organics to partner each Decepticon? (Pause) You never know, in the future you could become a Legmaster with a male and female organic for each of your legs (chuckles). (Halts facing Battletrap.)

BATTLETRAP: Yuck! You’re sick. (Presses his right index finger into his chest.) I decide my future. Me. And I ain’t having no organics in my body. (Pause) (Waves his right hand dismissively and brings it to rest on his right knee.) ’Cons don’t need organics, now or in the future. (Silence) You said Galvatron was from the future, right?

WEIRDWOLF: Put simply, yes; that is what I was told in the mission briefing.

BATTLETRAP: That gives me an idea. (Stands.) When I catch up with Galvatron I’ll trick him into lowering his guard by telling him I want to talk about future Decepticons. Once he has told me what I want to know - BANG! (makes his right hand into a fist and punches it into the open palm of his left hand) - no more Galvatron!

WEIRDWOLF: (Sighs and then puts his hands over his face and slowly drags them down in despair.) So, you’re going to ask Galvatron about the extent of organic interaction amongst future Decepticons and then execute him?

BATTLETRAP: Yeah!

Silence

WEIRDWOLF: ‘Highly unlikely’ barely begins to describe your chances of implementing that idea.

BATTLETRAP: What do you mean?

WEIRDWOLF: (Points his left index finger upwards.) Well, let us start with the little fact of Galvatron’s abilities. (Starts walking slowly along a rough arc.) From what I can gather, Galvatron laid waste to both Autobot and Decepticon forces when we last encountered him, creating massive casualties on both sides. And, if I remember rightly, you were one of those casualties. (Halts facing Battletrap.)

BATTLETRAP: He got lucky. (Turns away from Weirdwolf’s gaze in embarrassment.)

WEIRDWOLF: Then we go onto the major point: Galvatron’s location. (He starts slowly walking again.) As I’ve mentioned numerous times, Galvatron is a future version of Megatron. Again, from what I can gather, there is no sign of Galvatron, anywhere, which seems to be the case galaxy-wide. So I have come to the conclusion that the time storm that occurred in our last battle with Galvatron has sent him to his correct time: i.e. our future. (Pause) This hypothesis will make up the report that I produce for Scorponok.

Silence. Weirdwolf waits. Battletrap is deep in thought.

BATTLETRAP: OK, I’ll get a time machine.

Silence

WEIRDWOLF: You?… You believe you can obtain a time machine? (Laughs hysterically.)

BATTLETRAP: Yeah (sulky).

WEIRDWOLF: (Chuckles) OK. (Pauses and then takes a step forward, puts his left hand on his left hip and points at Battletrap.) Though evidence clearly point towards the existence of time machines, I’m pessimistic at your chances of finding one. (His attention shifts and he turns his head to the right and puts his right index finger on the right side of his head as he receives a communication regarding their transport ship.)

BATTLETRAP: I don’t care what you think (waves his hand dismissively), I’m gonna do it.

WEIRDWOLF: More fool you. Anyway, prepare yourself, our transport is approaching.

BATTLETRAP: You don’t believe me do you? (Takes a couple of steps towards Weirdwolf.)

WEIRDWOLF: Let us conclude this conversation when we arrive back at base. (He turns his back on Battletrap and begins to walk away.)

BATTLETRAP: (Stretches his arms to the side in a confrontational manner.) Hey, what’s your problem? (Puts his arms by his side and walks towards Weirdwolf.)

WEIRDWOLF: Enough of this. There is a time and a place for everything and right now we have to prepare to depart.

BATTLETRAP: (Stops only a few steps from Weirdwolf and points at him.) I’ll prove it to you: I’ll prove to you I can get a time machine. (Puts his right arm down by his side and turns his head down to the left.) What I’ll do is (Pause) I’ll (Pause) save the current time, date and location in my brain module and when I get a time machine I’ll travel through time to right here, right now. (Looks at Weirdwolf expectantly) Yeah! That’s it!

Weirdwolf ignores him as he receives a communication regarding their transport ship.

Battletrap crosses his arms.

Silence

WEIRDWOLF: Battletrap, our transport is requesting our presence.

BATTLETRAP: Tell it to wait, I’m gonna show up here real soon, I promise.

Silence

WEIRDWOLF: Battletrap, our departure is imminent, we must be leaving. (He starts walking away from Battletrap.)

BATTLETRAP: Hold on, I’ll turn up, you’ll see.

WEIRDWOLF: (He stops and turns to face Battletrap.) Battletrap, time is of the essence, we must go!

BATTLETRAP: Wait up, Weird-o; I’ll be here any moment. Any moment now...

WEIRDWOLF: Fine! (Throws his arms in the air in frustration.) Instead of doing something constructive like embarking on our journey back to base, we’ll waste our time by waiting here to see what happens! (Walks back to where Battletrap is standing and stands beside him with his arms crossed over his chest.)

Nothing happens.

[Grand Moff Muffin]

Great dialogue there, Andrew. I love to hear characters in stories actually talking about plot points on their mind, rather than just exchanging generic banter or saying what needs to be said for a story to progress - it shows they actually have thoughts of their own, and can debate things that have happened for themselves rather than leave it all to the readers to discuss. The story starts with generic exchange of insults between Decepticons, but then because they have time on their hands they end up discussing matters of substance, and while Battletrap is a bit slow, he disproves Weirdwolf's initial assessment of being something just to be pointed and fired.

I'm pleased you ditched Weirdwolf's speech impediment. It just wouldn't have worked for such a long conversation.

The method of story delivery is unusual, but fine for a one-off - it reads like tightly-specified stage directions, or directions for animation. It occurs to me though that you have both characters moving their bodies in a very human-like fashion (folding their arms, putting hands on hips, even touching their heads when radioing, which I'm sure TFs don't need to do). And because one of the main topics discussed is binary-bonding, I can't help thinking it would have been even more interesting if only _one_ of the characters - the one with a human in his head - had all these human physical mannerisms and gestures, while Battletrap, who is pure robot, acted and moved like a non-human robot.

Great work though, with a lot of thought behind the excellent dialogue.

Martin

[Mark_Stevenson]

Waiting for Godotron. I bloody love it.

The stage directions are spot on. All that's missing is a tree!

Mx

[Cullen]

BATTLETRAP: Do you think he was talking to it? (He puts his right hand out in front of his face as if he is holding something and moves that hand left and right at the wrist.) �Hello Scorponok, do you like being away from your body?� �No?� �Well don�t loose your head over it.� (Sniggers)

Heh heh heh. Very good Andrew.

[legios]

Very good stuff there Andrew. You created a good sense of the two characters as distinct individuals, with thoughts in their heads other than those immediately relating to smashing Autobots and squashing humans.

I did enjoy Battletraps somewhat humorous take on the Headmaster process as well. I'd not really thought about it much before but I can see now how it might render them the butt of jokes from some of their Decepticon comrades.

The pared-down script style structure of the story was unexpected but worked very well, it kept the focus strictly on the dialogue which - in the end - was all that was really going on it the story.

Good stuff Andrew, good stuff

Karl