Transformers Alternatives

[Deleted]

This is my attempt at a parody Transformers story. It is also my very first attempt at fanfiction so don't be surprised if it doesn't live up to the standards of other bits of fanfiction here. Comments, praise or general sarcasm can be posted after the story!

TRANSFORMERS: ALTERNATIVES

THE FLIP SIDE OF THE TRANSFORMERS

1. A New Planet

On a faraway planet deep in outer space a war is raging. It is a war of robots capable of transforming into specialist equipment and vehicles. On one side are the Autobots - the peaceful inhabitants of the planet Cybertron who have lived there for many thousands of years without war or hostility. On the other side are the Decepticons - a ruthless team of robots whose lust for power and glory have forced the pacifist Autobots into war. The war has now been going on for some time. Some of Cybertron's many inhabitants say it has been raging for over five thousand years but other, less intelligent beings claim that it only started the other day!

The Autobots are lead by Optimus Prime - a bold and fearless leader while the Decepticons are lead by the maniacal Megatron. This story however, doesn't focus on their war on Cybertron but rather another, completely different war on the other side of the planet between another, much smaller, team of Autobots and Decepticons.

The Autobots in this war are lead by their heroic leader Beebor - a statuesque and brave fighter noted for his sombre black and white colour scheme. It was Beebor who assembled this small team of Autobots at the start of the war and, being head of the little known Autobot Protection Agency he lead his troops into battle against the Decepticons lead by the maniacal Treads - a tall and bulky fighter whose green metal body towers above Beebor. Believing that size isn't important Beebor refused to surrender and took the fight against Treads. Backing up Beebor were his fellow assistants in the Autobot Protection Agency. Stacker - a medium-sized yellow robot and Gullwing - a silver coloured robot roughly the same size as Beebor. Completing the team were volunteers who were willing to risk their lives for the good of their home planet. These were the small but brave yellow robot Robin, bulky green and brown robot Rustbucket, small white robot Goldtop, mini robot Titch who was renowned for his metallic blue colour scheme, Motown - the oldest robot of the group who offers advice to the younger members of the team but refuses to take advice on upgrading his worn out body and lastly Chocky - a pink and white robot whose colour brings more chuckles from the opposition than attacks.

The Decepticons in contrast are seemingly better prepared for war. Consisting of Treads and his equally statuesque generals the are Congestion and Wurzel - two orange coloured brothers who always fight together, the red coloured Busfare and bulky brown robot Roadblock. Unfortunately though, like the Autobots there are a few straddlers that came along for the ride.Treads has very little time for mini robotos Runaround, Peddle and Hairdryer who are coloured blue, silver and red respectably. They may be good at infiltrating places unnoticed but they are also professionals when it comes to getting under the feet of the larger robots.

Our story starts at a turning point in the war on Cybertron. The Autobots, after seeing their planet being slowly destroyed by war decide to leave the planet looking for a new one in the hope that the Decepticons would follow them and leave Cybertron in peace. They secretly build a starship specially designed for long-distance space travel and depart the planet they had lived on since their creation. At first, the Decepticon didn't follow but when they discovered that Cybertron wasn't any fun anymore without Beebor and his team they unearthed their craft they had used to travel to other planets in the past and went off in search of them.

On the Autobots starcruiser Beebor reflected upon his times on Cybertron and hoped that one day he would return there. Suddenly, there was a large thud against their ship which made it shudder violently.
'We've hit an asteroid' exclaimed Robin in shock 'I told you to watch where you were driving this crate Stacker but you wouldn't listen would you?'
Stacker looked in Robin's direction from where he was sitting at the front of the control room.
'It's no asteroid' replied Stacker 'at a guess I'd say the Decepticons are trying to run us off the road!'
'Run us off the road?' laughed Robin sarcastically 'how can they run us off the road? We're in bloody space not the Cybertron main highway!'
'There might be a road' defended Gullwing 'its just that this area is so black we can't see one!' Robin gave up before Beebor started in on the conversation and walked to the back of the control room. Suddenly though, he was hit over the head and knocked unconscious by a tall, lurking figure.
'Treads!' gasped Beebor in shock 'how did you get in here?'
'Well, I won an all access pass to this ship in a cereal packet competition last month!' the Decepticon leader said sarcastically 'how do you think I bloody got in here - I linked a boarding chute to your ship, I blasted a hole in it and entered. Now, if you don't mind I'm commandeering this vessel and taking you lot all prisoner.'

A fight started but very soon the ship began to vibrate and wobble. Treads looked towards the control panel and saw Stacker smashing up the panel with his fists.
'What are doing you stupid Autobot?' shouted Treads.
Stacker smiled as he walked away from the panel amid flying sparks and smoke billowing out from some of the computer displays.
'I've set a course for the nearest planet in a straight line from our current position and smashed the controls so that you can't change its course. If we crash into something, say a volcano for instance on this planet then everybody on board this ship will be destroyed - including you!'
'You're a stupid bucket of bolts for doing that because you've even comdemned your own leader to death!' Treads fumed.
'Us Autobots have no fear in dying' retaliated Beebor 'we're only robots after all. If we die we'll become heroes on Cybertron and they might make some toys of us as a tribute to our heroism in destroying your team of Decepticons.'
Treads then lunged at Beebor as the other Decepticons went for the remaining Autobots. The fighting lasted many space cycles and only ended when the ship crash-landed on a distant planet and knocked all of its passengers offline.

To Be Continued...

[Deleted]

And now for part 2 of

TRANSFORMERS: ALTERNATIVES

THE FLIP SIDE OF THE TRANSFORMERS

2. Blending In

The ship had landed in a desert-like area on an unpopulated planet but it wasn't until many millennia later when trees had sprung up all around the crashed vessel that the inhabitants of the Autobot ship were re-activated. A tremor shook through the forested area which camouflaged the ship and shook into life a sentient droid whose job was to repair the Autobots. Resembling something like a robotic version of a food blender the droid walked in a drunken fashion out of the ship and immediately fell into a chasm opened up by the tremor. After a short while the droid climbed out of the chasm, it's circuits scrambled from the fall and went looking for information in order to repair all of the robots onboard the ship.

The droid discovered that he was on Planet Earth - a now populated planet full of vehicles similar to those the Autobots and Decepticons transformed into and also some strange kind of pink aliens the same size as the droid but made of some kind of material that could easily be pulped by the foot of a wayward Autobot or a menacing Decepticon. The droid scanned many different ground vehicles in the surrounding area on Earth which it had discovered as being called Great Britain and took his findings back to the shuttle. Most of the vehicles it had scanned were fantastic looking (in its own opinion anyway) that both factions would be proud of but others not so. Unfortunately, on his trip back to the ship one of those squishy aliens he had encountered earlier started to chop down what the droid had discovered to be a tree. The tree fell on top of the droid and subsequently wiped much of the information it had collected. The droid wasn't damaged though and proceeded on his trip back to the ship.

Only seventeen vehicular modes had been left in the droids data banks when he checked them up. To its surprise there were exactly seventeen robots all in need of repair so it began to do the job it was designed for in the first place. First, he reapired the onboard computer which could give the Cybertronians the power to reformat into their new vehicular modes which he had downloaded into its much larger database. The droid first repaired and reformatted the Autobots. Beebor was first in line and his alternate appearance became that of a police car. Next up was Stacker who was given the alternate form of a fork-life truck and Gullwing who inherited that of a DeLoren car. Robn became a Reliant Robin vehicle, Rustbucket - a Citreon 2CV, Goldtop - a milkfloat, Chocky - an ice cream van, Titch became a car known on this strange planet as a Smart Car while Motown became a rather old looking Model T Ford. Next up were the Decepticons. Treads was given the form of a Sherman Tank, Busfare - a coach, Wurzel became a combined harvester, Congestion - a tractor, Roadblock - a large imposing Humber vehicle, Peddle was made to look like a Sinclair C5, Runaround became a Mini and Hairdryer inherited that of a moped. Okay, so they weren't as sophisticated as some of the designs that had been erased in the tree incident but at least they could all blend in on this new planet... or so the droid hoped.

Both teams though still needed to be brought back to life. The little sentient droid used to have the power to reactivate robots but since his recent incidents in trying to find alternate modes to give to the Autobots and Decepticons he had lost such powers. All hope seemed lost but, as luck would have it, a saviour would suddenly turn up. Standing in front of the droid was a large, imposing orange-coloured robot. Not much of this mysterious stranger could be seen, due in part to him wearing a long black cape hinting that he was possibly a high ranking officer within his team. The service droid decided to make a few inquiries . He began by speaking in a language that consisted largely of blips and bleeps before going into what he believed was a more intelligent language which curiously sounded exactly like his initial choice of communication. The mysterious robot looked down at the small droid and then picked it up like a rag doll before shaking him and dropping him to the ground. This sent the droid offline quite easily. Normally, a fall like this wouldn't have done such a thing but his recent incidents had helped somewhat in causing the failure.

The strange orange robot then slowly surveyed all of the other robots on board the shuttle. All had been repaired and lay offline in their new vehicular modes. With one swift wave of his right arm the robot cast a magical spell over all of the offline robots and within seconds every member of the Autobots and the Decepticons had been brought back to life. Beebor transformed into his robot mode, stepped up to the mysterious figure and looked at him strangely. He wasn't familiar to the Autobot but he did look odd as if he had created for a budget market on Cybertron. Beebor then introduced himself to the stranger.

To Be Continued...

[Deleted]

After a bit of a delay here comes part 3 of

TRANSFORMERS: ALTERNATIVES

THE FLIP SIDE OF THE TRANSFORMERS

3. Combined Might

'Who are you and where do you come from?' Beebor's questions were straight and to the point.
'My names not important but I came from the planet Cybertron just like you' revealed the stranger.
'From Cybertron?' butted in Rustbucket 'but you don't look like one of us.'
'That's because I come from your future' came the reply 'a future where the Autobots and the Decepticons are no longer around and the Predacons and Maximals rule the land.'
'The Preda-what?' enquired Robin 'and who is this Max Imals?'
'Maximals' corrected the orange robot 'they are the successors to the Autobots just as the Predacons are the successors to the Decepticons.'
Treads then stepped forward and grabbed the robot by the throat. 'You lie weakling' he spat 'nobody succeeds the Decepticons.'
The mysterious robot tried to release himself from Treads grip with his hands but it was futile. He was just too strong. He then used one of his special attacks. A strange-looking dinosaur head was attached to the robots waist and suddenly that unleashed a ball of flame that knocked Treads to the ground. The other Decepticons then tried to intervene but just before they did the stranger transformed into an orange quadrupedal dinosaur and attacked them. This new boy was certainly stronger than the might of the Decepticons and Treads recognised that immediately. He stood up and ordered his fellow troops to withdraw from battle. The Decepticon then transformed into his tank mode and blasted a new exit in the side of the Autobot ship before leaving.

After the Decepticons had gone the orange transformer reverted back to his robot form and approached Beebor.
'You are already aware that you now have new Earthen forms - your databanks will surely tell you that - but what you probably don't know is that you all have a combined form.'
'A combined form?' Robin asked suspiciously 'what's that?'
Beebor looked at Robin with a frown. 'A combined form is one where we all transform into an individual piece of a larger robot and connect together.' he answered 'I remember seeing it in its primitive phase back on Cybertron many eons ago.'
Motown then stepped forward. 'So can I' he replied 'but it was very primitive. Pieces kept on falling off the combined form as soon as it was so much as breathed on. I believe they called the gestalt Space Commander.'
'Anyway enough of this chit-chat' said Robin enthusiastically 'how do we combine into this bigger robot?'

The orange robot smiled as he explained.
'Access your databanks inside you' he said 'and you will notice that each of you will have three transformation modes. One is a vehicle, one is a robot and the other is a piece of the gestalt. All of you switch to that final mode now and you will then automatically attach yourselves to the right part of another robot here.'
All nine Autobots transformed into their respective gestalt modes and, although some were delighted at their new job others were not. Beebor transformed into the body of the robot while Stacker became the shoulders and Titch became the head. Gullwing was surprised that he had been selected as the right arm and Motown the left arm. Goldtop and Rustbucket found themselves as the thighs of the new robot while Robin and Chocky became the lower legs. When the robot had been assembled the mysterious orange robot who had given them these powers in the first place looked up and introduced the new gestalt robot.
'Let me introduce you to - Road Atlas.'
The orange robot then revealed another secret. He too could transform into a tenth part of Road Atlas. He quickly changed into a chestplate with a dinosaur head in the middle and announced this more powerful robot as Deluxe Road Atlas.

Beebor was a bit disappointed that he couldn't test out the strength of this new deluxe robot at the moment but he was impressed with it. After all of the Autobots had disassembled once more the Autobot leader wanted to know more about the mysterious orange robot who had given them all of this power. He also wanted to know his name - a question that the stranger had so far shied away from.
'I can't possibly work effectively with you unless I know your name and your background' Beebor asked 'so could you please give us the information we should know about you?'
The orange robot leaned against the side of the interior of the ship and spoke.
'I am a Maximal' he answered in a dulcet tone 'this you probably already know ... and my name is...'

To Be Continued...

[Deleted]

Part 4 now up of

TRANSFORMERS: ALTERNATIVES

THE FLIP SIDE OF THE TRANSFORMERS

4. Revelations

'My name is...' repeated the orange robot
'Get on with it, get on with it!' said Robin impatiently.
'My name is Super Dinosaur Witchcraft!' came the reply.
'What kind of stupid name is that?' Robin retorted.
'I told you my name wasn't important' he exclaimed.
'Your name isn't that bad' complimented Stacker.
'Is there something wrong with your audio receptors?' shouted Robin 'he just told you his name is Super Dino... thingy and you think it isn't that bad?'
Beebor then stepped in and quashed the argument that he could see brewing.
'Enough everybody' announced the Autobot leader 'it doesn't matter what you think of his name. What is important is that we all work together.' He then turned to face Super Dinosaur Witchcraft. 'I would very much like to know your background.' He uttered 'please could you tell me how you came to be on this planet and how you found us.'
Super Dinosaur Witchcraft paced up and down the ship before explaining.

'I am a Maximal from your future who was transported back in time with several other Maximals and Predacons to prehistoric Earth and fought in what became known as the Beast Wars.' he explained.
'The Beast Wars?' interrupted Stacker 'what's that?'
'The Beast Wars was a war fought against Maximals and Predacons on prehistoric Earth...'
'Yer, yer, you've told us all that' Robin butted in 'why don't you change the record.'
'The Beast Wars lasted for many cycles before it all came to an end and everybody was transported back to Cybertron ... except me. I was doing experiments at the time on some raw Energon I had found when suddenly an explosion put me offline for many centuries. I was stuck on Earth with my original beast mode intact and when I managed to get back online I tested more raw Energon and managed to absorb it into my body. I wanted to use my ultimate power for good but there was very little use for it until I discovered your ship shortly before a tremor brought your little robot pet back online who fixed all on board. I used my powers to reactivate you and give you all gestalt modes - even the Decepticons.'
'But why did you do that?' asked Rustbucket 'they are our sworn enemies.'
'My mind isn't what it used to be and I mistakenly gave everybody a new exsistence.'
'So, you're saying that the Decepticons also have a gestalt mode?' said Motown.
Super Dinosaur Witchcraft nodded and then added '... and I don't think it will take them long to discover their gestalt mode of "Dai Hard".'

Elsewhere, the Decepticons were trying to understand this new planet they were on. Busfare had parked himself by the side of the road when a human being approached him. Without looking to see if a driver was present on the coach the human - a young boy stepped aboard.
''How much is is to town?' he asked.
'Get lost, I'm not in service!' growled Busfare.
'But all I want to know is how much it is to town.' enquired the kid once more.
'Didn't you hear me the first time' spat the Decepticon 'I said I'm not in service and if you don't step off me this instant fleshling I will step on you!'
The kid willingly stepped off Busfare despite not fully understanding his comments. Just then Treads spoke to Busfare through his radio communicator.
'Return to base Busfare' the Decepticon leader said 'we have just discovered something very important. Something that might win us the battle against the Autobots and that odd-looking robot they've teamed up with.' Treads then hung up.
'I suppose I'll have to go to that despot!' he moaned.
'Don't you mean depot? said the kid.
'What?' growled Busfare.
'you said despot' the kid explained 'don't you mean depot - like in bus depot?'
'Get lost!' spat Busfare as he drove off.

The Decepticon base was nothing more than a disused factory. It was large and spacious which was exactly what Treads had been looking for. He needed space to work on the machinery and equipment which he would use to defeat the Autobots. Busfare arrived late much to the chagrin of Treads.
'Where have you been?' The Decepticon leaders voice was harsh and unforgiving.
'I was held up by a fleshling and then these things the inhabitants of this mudball call traffic lights!'
Treads just sneered at Busfare before walking towards Congestion.
'Congestion here has just discovered something that may be of some importance to us' he exclaimed.
'Yes' continued Congestion 'it appears that when we were reformatted we were also given a combined form. Our data processors can transform us into various pieces of a much larger robot which will help us greatly in battle.'
Treads then gave the order for the Decepticons to transform into their component parts and, after managing to figure out how to do so they became the mighty robot Dai Hard.
Treads transformed into the body while the 'brains' of the robot Runaround became the head. Wurzel and Congestion turned into the arms of the robot while Busfare and Roadblock became the legs. That left just Peddle and Hairdryer to take up the Mantle as the feet of the robot. Many weren't too impressed especially Treads who didn't think a low-ranking minion of his should become the head of the robot. Quietly, he orange robot who had given them this form and Dai Hard marched out of their base to confrnt the Autobots, almost destroying the Decepticon base in the process.

To Be Continued ...

[Grand Moff Muffin]

Argh, four instalments and no feedback. Sorry. I do intend to read these soon, Zudobug.

Martin

[Andy Turnbull]

Likewise. Still toiling with a head cold and concentration isn't quite there yet.

Andy

[Grand Moff Muffin]

OK, read all four parts now!

On the praise side, your written English is very good (spelling, grammar, sentence construction, etc.), which is an encouraging sign for your future writing.

On the constructive criticism side, it's not at all clear what the story is trying to do or be. You called it a parody TF story, and indeed the names are a bit jokey, and there are elements of slapstick, but they come across as the exception from the majority of the text, which reads very straight / non-parody. It's a bit like you've written a straight story and then gone through it and inserted bits of weirdness here and there - but not to such an extent that the general tone becomes comedic.

I suppose the thing is that the overall flow of plot is standard TF fare, while some of the details are parody-style. To try to explain what I mean, to compare with the Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy (the source of the name-is-not-important line), that story not only had humorous details, but also a satirical/ironic plot from the get-go: the Earth being demolished to create a hyperspace by-pass, just as Arthur Dent's house was about to be demolished to create a new road. So far, this story reads as if Arthur Dent's house is demolished to create a new road, and lots of events happen that we are used to, but that's it. There's no larger twist... that we can see yet.

It would have felt more like a parody story if, when the ship crashed into the planet, the planet got smashed to bits, leaving the ship hanging in space... or if the repair drone came on-line, and instead of repairing the crew, it said "Sod it," and went off to do its own thing... or something.

I guess I'm just suggesting that you plan the major plot events to be humorous/unconventional in future parts, as well as the little things. I hope this is useful feedback rather than at all discouraging!

Martin

[Deleted]

I only intend to do one more part in this story. I originally envisioned it to be a one-off character introduction type story with possibly more newer stories coming at a later date to actually form some kind of actual story. This is my first stab at fanfiction anyway so I wouldn't be too surprised if people didn't find too uplifting.

[Grand Moff Muffin]

That's OK, as your first experimental foray it certainly shows you can write! You don't need to worry about the stringing-words-together-coherently aspect of it, which a lot of people struggle with. I'd just suggest that next time you focus a bit more tightly on what the point of the story is, and what it is that you think will grip the reader right from chapter 1, make them pay attention and make them care about what comes in chapter 2, and so on - whether the focus be laughs, or original plot, or characters' thoughts, or whatever, just decide that before you write a single word and focus solidly on that aspect, and you'll do marvellously.

Be interested to hear whether other Hubbers agree with my verdict on this one.

Martin