Post by The Doctor on Nov 14, 2007 22:31:07 GMT
From the TMUK Archives, November 2001.
---
THE TRANSFORMERS : 100 WORDS.
Written By Ralph Burns.
------------------------------
The keyboard was live. With every keystroke he brought himself closer to doom, which had been pretty certain after his encounter with the evil Decepticon known as Soundwave.
Working in a top security nuclear facility had never been so annoying as right now. It hadn't been enough for the robot to simply destroy the facility. No, they had to break his will, make him telepathically continuously type away at his keyboard, wired to a high-explosive device. The device was primed to detonate in 100 words time. He just couldn't help himself, something made him keep typing.
ninety-seven
PING! YOU HAVE PASSED LEVEL 1. 100 NEW WORDS GRANTED!
Sick b*******! It wasn't enough for that damned robot to grant him such a stupid death, it had to taunt him as well. Hmph, well he was a human being and he had free will, all he had to do was stop typing...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
That was sore! He tried to type gibberish, but his mental programme wouldn't let him. He had a compulsion to write down events as he experienced them. There was nothing he could do.
seventy-eight
If only the Autbots hadn't left, but -
PING! YOU HAVE REACHED SECOND LEVEL! 100 NEW WORDS GRANTED!
-they had high tailed it after Soundwave. He was alone here, no one to help him. Still, he had been granted more words. He wondered how he had done that. Bloody Decepticons!
PONG! PENALTY! YOU HAVE LOST 50 WORDS!
thirty-three
Ah! How had that happened?! All he'd done was criticise the bloody Decepticons!
PONG! PENALTY! YOU HAVE LOST 50 WORDS!
ninety-seven
Didn't mean-
PING! YOU HAVE REACHED THIRD LEVEL! 100 NEW WORDS GRANTED!
But words could not be carried forward into the next level. So he only had a hundred words to live within each level. Damn! It still didn't help him much though but - the modem was still active. Perhaps he could reach the Autobots somehow!
PING! YOU HAVE REACHED FOURTH LEVEL! 100 NEW WORDS GRANTED!
Wait! The system wanted to help him contact the Autobots! Yes! Perhaps there was hope after all. Perhaps that lumbering tape-deck had somehow left him a chance.
twenty-seven
But how? If only an Autobot signal would flash up on screen.
thirty-eight
An Autobot signal flashed up on screen! It re-assembled itself into the image of Optimus Prime.
fifty-three
E-mail really was wonderful. "How can I help?" said Prime
sixty-three
You have to help me, said the human. I'm wired to a bomb and the Decepticons are behind it.
eighty-one
And only the Autobots can help, only they can, hang on, it's word number-
ninety-six
Oh for God's sake! NO!
one hundred words
PING PONG! SORRY! YOU HAVE LOST THE GAME OF LIFE! THANKYOU FOR PLAYING!
**********************
''Well, that was mildly diverting'', considered Soundwave.
"You're sick" commentated Ravage, "And that's something coming from me."
The senior Decepticon adjusted his visual systems absent mindedly as a waft of thick black smoke swarmed around the two alien beings, high up on the plateau. Down below, human buildings crumbled in fire as radioactivity swept the valley.
Ravage walked over to the edge and looked down. "Funny how you gave the human more time when he praised the Autobots."
Soundwave picked at a random piece of debris which had landed on his shoulder. "Yes, funny that."
Ravage stared at Soundwave coldly. Wordlessly.
The latter patted Ravage on the head. "It's worth considering what we would say if we only had a hundred words left to us before we died."
Silence. Then: "Indeed."
And in the valley below, hundreds of humans died a most horrible death.
THE END.
(rb 18/11/01)
---
THE TRANSFORMERS : 100 WORDS.
Written By Ralph Burns.
------------------------------
The keyboard was live. With every keystroke he brought himself closer to doom, which had been pretty certain after his encounter with the evil Decepticon known as Soundwave.
Working in a top security nuclear facility had never been so annoying as right now. It hadn't been enough for the robot to simply destroy the facility. No, they had to break his will, make him telepathically continuously type away at his keyboard, wired to a high-explosive device. The device was primed to detonate in 100 words time. He just couldn't help himself, something made him keep typing.
ninety-seven
PING! YOU HAVE PASSED LEVEL 1. 100 NEW WORDS GRANTED!
Sick b*******! It wasn't enough for that damned robot to grant him such a stupid death, it had to taunt him as well. Hmph, well he was a human being and he had free will, all he had to do was stop typing...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
That was sore! He tried to type gibberish, but his mental programme wouldn't let him. He had a compulsion to write down events as he experienced them. There was nothing he could do.
seventy-eight
If only the Autbots hadn't left, but -
PING! YOU HAVE REACHED SECOND LEVEL! 100 NEW WORDS GRANTED!
-they had high tailed it after Soundwave. He was alone here, no one to help him. Still, he had been granted more words. He wondered how he had done that. Bloody Decepticons!
PONG! PENALTY! YOU HAVE LOST 50 WORDS!
thirty-three
Ah! How had that happened?! All he'd done was criticise the bloody Decepticons!
PONG! PENALTY! YOU HAVE LOST 50 WORDS!
ninety-seven
Didn't mean-
PING! YOU HAVE REACHED THIRD LEVEL! 100 NEW WORDS GRANTED!
But words could not be carried forward into the next level. So he only had a hundred words to live within each level. Damn! It still didn't help him much though but - the modem was still active. Perhaps he could reach the Autobots somehow!
PING! YOU HAVE REACHED FOURTH LEVEL! 100 NEW WORDS GRANTED!
Wait! The system wanted to help him contact the Autobots! Yes! Perhaps there was hope after all. Perhaps that lumbering tape-deck had somehow left him a chance.
twenty-seven
But how? If only an Autobot signal would flash up on screen.
thirty-eight
An Autobot signal flashed up on screen! It re-assembled itself into the image of Optimus Prime.
fifty-three
E-mail really was wonderful. "How can I help?" said Prime
sixty-three
You have to help me, said the human. I'm wired to a bomb and the Decepticons are behind it.
eighty-one
And only the Autobots can help, only they can, hang on, it's word number-
ninety-six
Oh for God's sake! NO!
one hundred words
PING PONG! SORRY! YOU HAVE LOST THE GAME OF LIFE! THANKYOU FOR PLAYING!
**********************
''Well, that was mildly diverting'', considered Soundwave.
"You're sick" commentated Ravage, "And that's something coming from me."
The senior Decepticon adjusted his visual systems absent mindedly as a waft of thick black smoke swarmed around the two alien beings, high up on the plateau. Down below, human buildings crumbled in fire as radioactivity swept the valley.
Ravage walked over to the edge and looked down. "Funny how you gave the human more time when he praised the Autobots."
Soundwave picked at a random piece of debris which had landed on his shoulder. "Yes, funny that."
Ravage stared at Soundwave coldly. Wordlessly.
The latter patted Ravage on the head. "It's worth considering what we would say if we only had a hundred words left to us before we died."
Silence. Then: "Indeed."
And in the valley below, hundreds of humans died a most horrible death.
THE END.
(rb 18/11/01)
