A Death's Head story

[Grand Moff Muffin]

Was inspired to write this when Ed suggested a commemorative fanzine for 2012, but realised I'm incapable of sitting on material for that long. Apologies to Ed for messing him about - still love to be involved when the time comes if poss.

Martin
____________________

Cybertron, once home to millions of Transformers. Current population – six humans. Oh, and one mechanoid bounty-hunter, trapped inside the Decepticons’ computer network.

ESCORT DUTY

“Death’s Head – I have a job for you, if you’re not too busy at the moment.”

“Don’t try to be funny. I don’t have a sense of humour. Do I need to ask the obvious questions?”

“Like who am I, and what’s happened to you?”

“No, like who do you want me to kill, and how much are you willing to pay.”

“I don’t want you to kill anyone.”

“That’ll cost you extra.”

“Now who’s trying to be funny?”

“All right, let’s pretend I asked your questions.”

“Very good. My name is Optimus Prime.”

“You’re a liar.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because my mind appears to be stuck inside a computer, and Optimus Prime is a robot, yes? He wouldn’t be communicating with someone trapped inside a computer by tapping on a keyboard. He’d have interfaced directly, and our negotiations would have been over five minutes ago.”

“You’re clever. That’s good. Nevertheless, I am Optimus Prime. Unfortunately, my mind is also trapped… in my case, in the body of a carbon-based alien life-form. It’s a long story.”

“Skip it. I doubt I’d believe you any more after you’d told it. Knowing the true identity of my employer isn’t a prerequisite to doing business, but it would have helped move things along. I have all the time in the world, yes?”

“No, you don’t. Do you know what planet we’re on?”

“I thought I was on Cybertron, but Cybertron is supposed to be populated only by mechanical life-forms, so now I’m not so sure.”

“We are on Cybertron, but all the mechanical life-forms have left the planet. The Transformers won their battle with Unicron, but the price was high. Thinking that the planet was dying from its wounds, they have fled, searching for a new home. I and five other humans stayed behind, and now other races have begun arriving to scavenge what they can before Cybertron collapses.”

“Who’s Unicron?”

“I hope for your sake you never find out. Unicron is, for our current purposes, irrelevant.”

“You want me to protect you from the raiders and get you safely off-planet, yes?”

“Yes to the first part, no to the second. We stayed behind on purpose, because I know what’s happening to Cybertron. It needn’t die – we can save it. But I need your help.”

“Interesting. Why me?”

“Cybertron is big. We are small. I need to find a sleeping Transformer somewhere on this planet. I don’t know where he is, and even if I did, it would take us years – possibly decades – to travel the distance on foot. We have but days.”

“Do you have my body?”

“No. We are in the Ibex quadrant, accessing the Decepticons’ planetary network from the central spaceport control room. Your body is in a storage facility in Tyrest, along with those of all the other alien mechanoids they’ve captured over the years – Chromites, Deathbringers, Mecannibals, Sharkticons, and so on. I can instruct the computer to upload your mind back into your body, and then you can come for us. We are running low on the food and clean water we require to survive, and need you to bring us supplies from the off-world botanical repository in Eocra before we die of hunger and thirst. But before I reintegrate you with your body, you must search Cybertron from within the Decepticons’ computer network, and find an energy signature matching the one I am going to give you. It will point the way to the Last Autobot’s resting place, and you can take us there.”

“That’s quite a lengthy shopping list for a humble mercenary such as myself, yes?”

“Don’t think of yourself as a mercenary today, if you encounter thieves and pirates plundering Cybertron. Think of yourself as a freelance peace-keeping agent.”

“Freelance peace-keeping agent – I like the sound of that. But let’s talk seriously now. What’s in it for me?”

“Name your price.”

“Suppose I do. What’s to stop me taking it from Cybertron the moment you return me to my body, and abandoning you to your fate?”

“Your reputation as a mechanoid of your word.”

“No-one will ever know.”

“Your sense of honour, then.”

“Let me put it another way. What will you do with me if I refuse your offer?”

“…”

“The clock is ticking, yes?”

“I will return you to your body just the same, and you will be free to join the looters. If Cybertron is doomed, I can’t leave you to die when I have it in my power to save your life. I freed the Chromites, Deathbringers, Mecannibals and Sharkticons before this conversation began.”

“Well, then. That makes all the difference. Perhaps you really are who you say you are. I accept the job. But when it comes to payment, I want something from you that I could not get through loot and plunder of a dying world.”

“What’s that?”

“A reference. Something that will bring me the choicest clients in the Galaxy. Business from those who won’t trust a freelance peace-keeping agent based solely on his list of successful hits. I want something no other mercenary has. A recommendation from Optimus Prime.”
___

“Mission 81 – log tape commences. Despite my doubts, I have decided to work on the assumption that my mysterious client is who he says he is. The potential rewards make the contract a risk worth taking. Besides, I think Cybertron owes me a break after what it’s put me through these last few years. Lured here under false pretences by a pair of Decepticons I’d never heard of but who appeared to bear me some kind of personal grudge, I suffered the indignity of capture and incarceration in this computer facility. I should by rights have been able to beat them when they ambushed me, but they knew all my attacks and defences as if they’d fought me before. One of them was purple with a V-shaped head, the other blue with a fibre-optic moustache and beard and pink nail varnish. They seemed unsure about whether or not to kill me, as if they had much to gain and much to lose by both my survival and my death, and were weighing up the options. To my chagrin, the computer informs me that both Cyclonus and Scourge are now dead, so I shan’t ever have a chance of settling that particular score. At least I can take solace in the fact that their hopes and fears concerning me likewise came to nought.

“I convinced ‘Optimus Prime’ to return me to my body before sending me off on my search of cyberspace, in order to download from my personal database some specialist mind-hacking software suitable for the job at hand. For his part, he uploaded to me a copy of an ancient Cybertronian text entitled ‘The Ultimate Warrior’, and Chapters 3 and 4 of something called ‘The Eleven Portals of the Cybertriton Mainframe’. I did not press him for the complete text of the latter. Business comes first, yes?

“Now as a fully armed and armoured virtual avatar, and with my client’s texts to show me the way, I have returned to the Decepticons’ computer network to search for any records of energy signatures that may lead me to the resting place of the legendary ‘Last Autobot’.”
___

“Mission 81 – log tape continues. At least part of my client’s tale is true, though ‘The Ultimate Warrior’ has been no help whatsoever. A search of the Decepticons’ planetary network for the energy signature in question failed to turn up any leads, but in the late Lord Straxus’ encrypted files I found mention of an older network, isolated from the Decepticons’ system. I exited the Decepticon network in the city-state of Polyhex, uploading myself into a dormant harvester unit, which vessel transported my consciousness to the base of the Smelting Pool, and an ancient computer terminal left behind by a long-forgotten civilisation. Chapter 3 of The Eleven Portals instructed me in the language protocols of this older system, and with some trepidation I entered the network.

“There are numerous intelligent life-forms within this system. Hard to say how many, as they split and merge freely. In conversing with them, I was unable to establish whether they had once inhabited physical mechanoid bodies or had always lived in cyberspace. They appeared for the most part benign, though I fear their memories have been corrupted over the millennia.

“Chapter 4 showed me the way to a second level, of which the inhabitants of the first were ignorant. There were no conventional virtual life-forms down here that I could discern, though I could feel what can only be described as an electronic whisper on the periphery of my consciousness. Haunted by ghosts, yes? The computer network criss-crosses the entire planet, and by harnessing its software I am able to see what is going on in the ‘real’ world.

“The alien looters are currently confined to the planet’s surface. I guess they don’t want to risk finding themselves underground when the planet collapses. A crew of space pirates has landed quite close to the facility in Tyrest in which my body, weapons and ship are impounded, lending my mission added urgency. Simply thinking of Optimus Prime brings up a camera angle showing me six small carbon-based life-forms doing their best to hide from the raiders and shelter from the storms wracking a dying world. They are unlikely to survive much longer without me to look after them.

“But first, I will attempt to use the power of this computer system to search the planet for a trace of the ‘Last Autobot’.”
___

“We’re no closer to finding this ‘Last Autobot’ than we were two days ago. If it exists, where is it? Face it, HiQ, Prime, whoever you are, we’re all going to die for a planet that’s not even ours!”

“Please, I-”

HiQ’s words were drowned out by the sound of rocket engines, as Death’s Head’s ship descended through the storm clouds and landed close to where the six humans cowered. They stared wide-eyed with concern as the entrance ramp lowered, and a giant cloaked mechanoid with a horned, skull-like head and protruding lower jaw stepped out to tower over them menacingly.

“Which one of you calls himself Optimus Prime?”

“He does,” came four instant replies.

“The name’s Death’s Head. I found something you were looking for, yes?”

“I hope you brought food,” said HiQ. “I’m starving.”
___

After the continuous noise of recent days, the humans were struck by the silence within Death’s Head’s ship as it flew high above the rain storm. The starscape visible through the reinforced windows added to the sense of tranquillity.

“Did you run into any trouble?” HiQ enquired of their protector between mouthfuls. The Nebulan didn’t care what he was eating, just so long as there was plenty of it.

“None worth mentioning. I abided by your request not to kill anyone, but was obliged to separate the heads of several alien mechanoids from their bodies, and non-fatally maim a couple of organic raiders who were trying to access my ship. They’ll live, at least until the planet self-destructs.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“So you say. I’m not convinced. All that your energy trace led me to was an ancient ruined temple eighteen levels beneath the surface of Cybertron. I didn’t spot any sleeping Autobot, and even supposing he is down there, how could one robot heal an entire planet?”

“He’s there all right, and I believe that Hector here will be able to sense his presence and awaken him when we arrive. As for healing the planet, you saw for yourself how every part of Cybertron is connected and alive. It’s simply a question of guiding it back to full health.”

“If you say so. Now hold on, we’re going in, yes?”

The ship darted down into the stormy atmosphere, plunged into the Rust Sea and descended for hundreds of kilometres before levelling off and entering an underwater tunnel. Their course twisted and turned through a veritable maze of shafts, gradually rising again until they were once more in air above sea level, somewhere beneath the Manganese Mountains. They crossed a vast underground cavern, then dived vertically down into a bottomless crevasse.
___

“AAAAAA! It… it’s near!”

“Dynamo…? Hector, what?”

“Stay back!” HiQ left his fifteenth course and rushed to the side of the shining Neo-Knight. “Somehow, in trying to tap Cybertron’s energies, he has established a rapport with it! The Last Autobot calls to us through you, my friend. Don’t fight it, let it guide you!”

“Here! It’s… here.”

“Where?” demanded the industrialist. “There’s nothing here, just some old ruins!”

“No, Blackrock” replied HiQ. “He’s right! Primus’s presence is strong here, the remains of his aura fill this place! The Last Autobot is near! Dynamo – call to him! Rouse him from his eternal sleep! Now, finally, it is time for him to fulfil his destiny!”

“Too late!” cried Lee Gruber as the roof caved in. “It’s going – the planet’s breaking up!”

“It’s not the planet!” argued HiQ. “Look – he rises, the ultimate protector, the final guardian…” But before they could see that to which he referred, a towering Demon several times larger than a Transformer smashed through a wall and roared its primal fury at the intruders.

Death’s Head stepped in front of the six humans. “I can kill something for you now, yes?”
___

Badly damaged and with his cloak on fire in several places, Death’s Head crawled back away from his relentless opponent. He glanced to check on the condition of his clients, and did a double-take. With death imminent, HiQ was still eating. At least the others had tried to help, however futile their efforts. (They nearly got perforated by one of Death’s Head’s splinter grenades.) But ‘Optimus Prime’ seemed to care more about filling his belly.

Turning his attention back to the Demon that dwarfed even him, Death’s Head assessed his chances of victory as slim to none. A strategic withdrawal was in order, yes?

“No!” objected HiQ. “If we leave, Cybertron is doomed.”

“But how can we stay?” demanded the mechanoid mercenary. “That thing seems to feed off my firepower and grow stronger, while my energy levels are dwindling. It’s draining my life reserves. I don’t think I can take many more of those flame bursts.”

“The creature absorbs energy,” said HiQ, finishing his last bite. “It and I have a lot in common in that respect. But thanks to the food you provided, I am at full power now. Join with me, Death’s Head. Let me use my Powermaster abilities to recharge your batteries, and you will have the strength to prevail.”
___

Death’s Head felt more energised, more alive than ever before as he swung around the Demon’s upper arm, avoiding its white-hot breath, and sank his axe into the back of its neck. Clutching onto its spiky shoulder-blades, he hacked away until its head was severed from its body, and the massive frame crashed to the floor of the underground chamber. Death’s Head was thrown off and rolled away, coming up on one knee near to HiQ. He deftly switched his axe hand for a plasma blaster, but his defeated foe lay still. It was over.

HiQ looked at the tin he had been eating from. Part of the label was missing, but it had apparently contained a leafy green Earth vegetable called ‘PINAC’.
___

Complex mechanical parts formed themselves from simple slabs of metal. Circuits took shape in the air as nanobots coalesced. The energy of the Creation Matrix coursed through the elemental fabric of the planet, converging between the Last Autobot and HiQ, manifesting itself once more in a single point. All the component parts merged fluidly around the hovering Nebulan, encasing him, transforming him, filling him with the power of the Matrix, until the puny organic life-form was gone, and there was only… him.

Death’s Head watched from the shadows, impressed. Perhaps this was a planet he could do business with after all…

THE END

[Kingoji]

Jun 11, 2011 11:48:39 GMT Grand Moff Muffin said:

Was inspired to write this when Ed suggested a commemorative fanzine for 2012, but realised I'm incapable of sitting on material for that long. Apologies to Ed for messing him about - still love to be involved when the time comes if poss.

Martin

*I* apologise for not being around so much lately to try and keep this thing moving... but since AA tapped me as a kind of unofficial convention artist I haven't had much time for anything outside of con stuff...

But we still have a year. I'll remain optimistic.