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Post by The Doctor on Jan 24, 2020 17:39:49 GMT
Fans of The Library Helpdesk may recall how Edinburger Uni library was plagued by The Phantom Wall Shitter. For some reason, someone was regularly shitting up the walls of the Floor Five loos. Sometimes Ground Floor too.
I moved and started using Manchester Metropolitan Uni library. I usually use Floor Four. Today, I ventured to Floor One and as I was going about my ablutions in the loo there I looked up...five and a half foot up...
SOMEONE HAD SHIT ON THE WALL!!!
THE PHANTOM WALL SHITTER IS BACK!!!!
I sent Andu a picture. He was not happy.
-Ralph
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Post by blueshift on Jan 24, 2020 18:03:08 GMT
The common denominator is Ralph...
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Jan 24, 2020 19:16:38 GMT
THE PHANTOM WALL SHITTER HAS RETURNED!!! -Ralph Thank goodness. I thought a millipede had done 'the deed' for a moment. |
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Post by Shockprowl on Jan 24, 2020 21:36:46 GMT
I think....
I think we need to examine, IN DETAIL, the act of shitting on a wall.
I cannot conceive of it being anything other than very difficult. Ergonomically. Functionality-ey. Surely even the most barbaric vandal just wouldn't have the... the... the maneuverability ...
How could they, literally, be arsed...?
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Jan 24, 2020 21:45:25 GMT
I suspect... fishing.
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Post by Pinwig on Jan 25, 2020 0:11:42 GMT
I cannot conceive of it being anything other than very difficult.Nah, I can tell you for nowt that nine year olds can manage it incredibly well. Pisses our cleaners off no end. |
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Post by Shockprowl on Jan 25, 2020 8:46:52 GMT
I cannot conceive of it being anything other than very difficult.Nah, I can tell you for nowt that nine year olds can manage it incredibly well. Pisses our cleaners off no end. Hmmm, interesting, interesting. As part of investigation into this this this situation, I tried to defecate on my own wall this morning. I found it most difficult. And uncomfortable. Therefore, I could that The Phantom Library Shitter is- A PERSON OF YOUTH! |
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Post by Pinwig on Jan 25, 2020 12:18:24 GMT
There's usually a hand involved. You don't have to try the Spiderman approach.
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Post by Pinwig on Jan 25, 2020 12:20:23 GMT
I actually found it amusing when we had a spate of turd presents. Someone thought it necessary to fold a square of toilet paper, put a very neat crown in the middle of it, then leave it in the middle of the floor.
Psychologically, I'm told this signifies a cry for help.
No shit. Well, actually, yes shit. On the floor.
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Post by Shockprowl on Jan 25, 2020 12:24:46 GMT
Ahhh, hands could be involved. Smearidge. I assumed it was sprayed on.
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Post by Pinwig on Jan 25, 2020 12:29:52 GMT
Sprayed?!
Jesus, you must have seen some shit in your line of work.
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Post by Shockprowl on Jan 25, 2020 12:31:16 GMT
I... I can't talk about it...
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Post by The Doctor on Feb 29, 2020 15:38:25 GMT
DEATH TO ALL PAIRS WHO SIT ON THE QUIET FLOOR. Without fail they will always CHAT LOUDLY.
Go to Floor Five, arseholes!!!!
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 2, 2020 13:36:06 GMT
Well this is a first.
We have EXTREMELY LOUD SNORING on Floor Four this afternoon. It is hard to concentrate with that going on!
-Ralph
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Post by Philip Ayres on Mar 2, 2020 15:04:11 GMT
It's not me!
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Post by Pinwig on Mar 2, 2020 21:51:05 GMT
Quiet, cosy, warm. I reckon I could doze off in a library quite easily.
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 2, 2020 22:35:51 GMT
NOT WHEN I AM THERE.
NO SLEEPING ON TOUR!!!
-Ralph
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Post by Pinwig on Mar 2, 2020 22:36:30 GMT
ZZZZZzzzzzz.......
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 2, 2020 22:37:13 GMT
DO NOT SLEEP IN THE LIBRARY. 73 LASHES FOR YOU!
-Ralph
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Post by Pinwig on Mar 2, 2020 22:39:23 GMT
But it's warmmmmmmmzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Post by Grand Moff Muffin on Mar 2, 2020 22:44:31 GMT
But it's warmmmmmmmzzzzzzzzzzzzz To sleep... perchance to dream!!! *deploys mind-bug* Martin |
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 2, 2020 23:26:01 GMT
But it's warmmmmmmmzzzzzzzzzzzzz 73 more lashes!!! -Ralph |
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Post by Pinwig on Mar 3, 2020 20:56:49 GMT
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 3, 2020 22:10:54 GMT
73!!!!
-Ralph
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Post by Pinwig on Mar 3, 2020 22:17:02 GMT
73 is a prime number you know.
An... Optimus... Prime number.
Heh.
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 3, 2020 22:28:50 GMT
Pinwig has finally broken!
-Ralph
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Post by Pinwig on Mar 3, 2020 22:29:56 GMT
Pinwig Prime.
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Post by Shockprowl on Mar 6, 2020 19:45:35 GMT
SAVE US, PINWIG PRIME!
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Post by Pinwig on Mar 6, 2020 22:04:41 GMT
Only when I've worked out all the Optimus Prime numbers between one and Cybertron.
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Post by Shockprowl on Mar 6, 2020 22:07:04 GMT
PINWIG PRIME, I LOVE YOU, BUT YOU ONLY HAVE TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO SAVE THE EARTH!
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