12 - Battle Beasts Universe

[Grand Moff Muffin]

BIG SEROW THE DEER STALKER

Allegiance: N/A
Function: Attacking with gusto
First appearance: Right here

"Fighting the enemy is the key to victory or defeat."


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Big Serow battles for fun. He has a very shiny nose, and a visor that he thinks makes him look well cool.

Abilities: Big Serow can invoke the power of water and conjure up a torrential downpour of rain covering an area of 5 hectares, lasting up to 30 seconds, or, alternatively, hit a single enemy with a medium-sized swimming pool's worth of water all in one go. Big Serow's combat suit is equipped with telescopic night-vision snow goggles, a shoulder-mounted flashlight and four independently-targetable hip-mounted dart-launchers that go 'bang'. His left hand replacement is a drill lovingly carved from a giant carrot. It is capable of drilling through soft mud and brambles but not much else. It also provides a tasty snack between battles. Big Serow carries a variant on the Klingon bat'leth, modified for one-handed use. It is really sharp.

Weaknesses: Big Serow's power of water can be nullified by any Battle Beast possessing the power of wood. His only other weakness is his tendency to applaud by clapping when he sees something praiseworthy, forgetting in his excitement that one of his hands is now a drill. Fortunately, the drill is a carrot, so the resultant injuries are rarely severe.

Strength: 6
Intelligence: 5
Speed: 5
Endurance: 7
Rank: N/A
Courage: 10
Firepower: 4
Skill: 7

[Grand Moff Muffin]

RED PHOENIX THE BLAZING EAGLE

Allegiance: Autobot
Function: Protector
First appearance: Right here

"I suppose someone's got to look after these fools."




Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Assigned by the Autobots to help protect wounded or persecuted Battle Beasts, Red Phoenix takes his job seriously, but also finds it exasperating, as he frequently has his hands full trying to prevent his passengers from fighting one another. "The greatest threat to the Battle Beasts is the Battle Beasts," he once reported to his superiors.

Abilities: In eagle mode, Red Phoenix shoots super-heated plasma from his beak that can melt all but the thickest armour. He is armed with sixteen air-to-air missiles and twin laser cannons, and can fly at Mach 2. His laser cannons are available to him in his defence base mode, which is also equipped with a high-powered photon blaster. He has a prison cell for restraining unruly Battle Beasts.

Weaknesses: Red Phoenix's armour is almost impervious from the outside, but he frequently suffers damage to his unprotected innards when Battle Beasts start fighting one another inside him.

Strength: 9
Intelligence: 7
Speed: 8
Endurance: 10
Rank: 6
Courage: 8
Firepower: 9
Skill: 6

[Grand Moff Muffin]

WOOD BEETLE

Allegiance: Decepticon
Function: Harvester unit
First appearance: Right here

"Recruiting today - free beer inside."




Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Wood Beetle scours the Planet Beast searching for unsuspecting Battle Beasts. When he finds one, he grabs it in his mighty harvester claw and puts it inside him for brainwashing. Battle Beasts are generally warriors of very little brain, and they like fighting, so it doesn't usually take much to convince them to fight for the Decepticons.



Abilities: Wood Beetle is almost indestructible. In both harvester unit and battle station modes he is armed with long-range mortars, rapid-fire anti-aircraft guns and a hypnotic ray. He contains a prison cell to hold subjects awaiting 're-education therapy'. Once Battle Beasts have come around to the Decepticon way of thinking, Wood Beetle permits them to decorate his insides with their favourite posters.

Weaknesses: Wood Beetle is slow and can be easily out-run if you see him coming from afar. But he usually manages to stun his victims with his hypnotic ray and capture them at his leisure.

Strength: 10
Intelligence: 7
Speed: 4
Endurance: 10
Rank: 6
Courage: 6
Firepower: 10
Skill: 7

[The Doctor]

GREATNESS.

-Ralph

[Fortmax2020]

Deer Stalker's profile doesn't seem to match his personality or skills from the old comic.

[Grand Moff Muffin]

Mar 20, 2019 21:39:17 GMT Fortmax2020 said:

Deer Stalker's profile doesn't seem to match his personality or skills from the old comic.

I'd be shocked if it did.

Martin

DANGER BOWDOG

Allegiance: N/A
Function: Laughing in the face of danger
First appearance: Right here

"Danger's my... first name."


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Danger Bowdog battles for fun. He likes catching balls (preferably his enemy's), fetching sticks (of dynamite), going for walks (ten paces, back to back) and chasing his own tail (into the mouth of hell).

Abilities: Danger Bowdog can invoke the power of fire and conjure up blasts of 1,200-degree flame, which he can shoot up to 30 feet at his opponents. He carries a weapon-thing that is rather hard to describe. It's a bit dented after he hit Hare Razing Rabbit Kid over the head with it one time. Danger Bowdog is very proud of his kneepads and the stylish Alice band that he uses to pin back his ears. Tease him about it and he'll pulverihilate you.

Weaknesses: Danger Bowdog's power of fire can be nullified by any Battle Beast possessing the power of water. It can also be nullified by firemen. He can be easily distracted by trees and fire hydrants.

Strength: 5
Intelligence: 5
Speed: 6
Endurance: 6
Rank: N/A
Courage: 10
Firepower: 6
Skill: 6

[Grand Moff Muffin]

HARE RAZING RABBIT KID

TOP TRUMP

Allegiance: N/A
Function: Berserker
First appearance: Right here

"Do you feel lucky?"


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Hare Razing Rabbit Kid is the most lethal Battle Beast ever seen. When the referee says "Fight!" you'll probably be dead before he's finished the "Fi". Danger Bowdog once hit him with an axe-thing. Rabbit Kid let him live because he has a soft spot for dogs.

Abilities: Hare Razing Rabbit Kid can invoke fire, wood or water at will. He is the only Battle Beast able to do this. But he doesn't need to cast spells to beat you. He can kill you with his bare hands, or with his feet if his hands happened to be tied behind his back (which they wouldn't be, 'cos he can escape any attempt to imprison him in under a second). He also has a dual-blade weapon, but he doesn't need it to beat you.

Weaknesses: Hare Razing Rabbit Kid has no known weaknesses.

Strength: 10
Intelligence: 10
Speed: 10
Endurance: 10
Rank: N/A
Courage: 10
Firepower: 10
Skill: 10

[Grand Moff Muffin]

JOAN BUR-COW THE BODACIOUS BOVINE

Allegiance: N/A
Function: Enforcer of the rules
First appearance: Right here

"Udd-der. UDD-DERRR!"


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Joan Bur-Cow enjoys a scrap as much as the next Battle Beast, but insists on ensuring that all concerned abide by the rules of fair play. These rules include announcing your intention to attack at least 4 seconds before attacking, outnumbering the enemy by no more than a ratio of 3-to-1, and honouring time-out requests provided that they have reasonable justification, such as it being tea-time, or the person making the request having suddenly thought of a brilliant new invention that they need to tell someone about before they die. If you disobey the rules, the Bodacious Bovine is likely to give you a gentle talking-to and a (cow-)pat on the head, and then, after a 4-second warning, lop your head off.

Abilities: Joan Bur-Cow can invoke the power of wood, either causing trees to grow at unnatural speed, winding around her foes to trap or crush them or stab them with their pointy bits, or else summoning up a medium-sized tree trunk to whack her enemy in the face. The power of wood can also nullify the magic of any Battle Beast who invokes the power of water. She carries a scimitar. It's really, really sharp. Her combat armour includes a reinforced hat sculpted to resemble a sacred cow-pat.

Weaknesses: The Bodacious Bovine's power of wood only works on planets that are home to trees, i.e. it won't work on board starships, space stations or artificial planets such as Cybertron. And it can, of course, be nullified by the power of fire.

Strength: 7
Intelligence: 7
Speed: 2
Endurance: 8
Rank: N/A
Courage: 10
Firepower: 3
Skill: 7

[Grand Moff Muffin]

SHOCKING SHARK

Allegiance: Decepticon
Function: Pirate ship
First appearance: Right here

"All aboard for adventure on the high seas!"




Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Shocking Shark is a notorious and charismatic pirate lord, cruising the high seas of Planet Beast, sinking ships and swallowing up Battle Beasts, who he then 'invites' to join his merry pirate crew. As Battle Beasts battle for fun, they are generally more than happy to do so. Shocking Shark promises his crew an exciting time, filled with glorious battle, and has a reputation for delivering on his promises.

Abilities: In giant fish mode, Shocking Shark's hide is almost impervious and armed with a double-barrelled armour-piercing harpoon gun. He transforms into a floating island, equipped with multiple harpoon guns, a prison cell, a grabbing claw, a crow's nest and a water slide.

Weaknesses: Shocking Shark cannot approach the shore, or risks being grounded. Should that happen, he would be helpless, and would have to rely on the goodwill of his crew to get him afloat again.

Strength: 9
Intelligence: 6
Speed: 6
Endurance: 10
Rank: 8
Courage: 7
Firepower: 9
Skill: 6

[Grand Moff Muffin]

RAZORKUKKU THE ROWDY ROOSTER

Allegiance: N/A
Function: Demolitions
First appearance: Right here

"This is going to cause more confusion than a mouse in a burlesque show."


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Razorkukku holds a particular resentment for his fellow fire-caster, Danger Bowdog, who he considers to be lower than a snake full of buckshot. "That dog's as subtle as a hand grenade in a barrrel of oatmeal," he declares, demonstrating an acute lack of self-awareness. "The boy's like taxes - he just don't know when to stop. Got a mouth like a cannon... always shootin' it off." He keeps on muttering to himself like this as he sets complex traps for his perceived rival, which usually backfire on him.

Abilities: Razorkukku can conjure up massive fireballs that explode on contact. He hurls these at his enemies with variable accuracy, to put it kindly. He can also use his power of fire to light fuses, and his battle suit contains numerous different kinds of explosive device. He carries a double flat-bladed spear, which he can spin to create a whirling shield of sorts, providing him with partial protection from his own explosions. When his feathers are intact, Razorkukku can use his wings to fly short distances.

Weaknesses: Razorkukku is his own worst enemy. Too often he becomes a victim to his own explosions. Fortunately, he keeps his feathers numbered for just such an emergency. Oh, and his power of fire can be nullified by the power of water.

Strength: 6
Intelligence: 3
Speed: 5
Endurance: 7
Rank: N/A
Courage: 9
Firepower: 8
Skill: 4

[blueshift]

Mar 21, 2019 5:48:28 GMT Grand Moff Muffin said:

JOAN BUR-COW THE BODACIOUS BOVINE

Allegiance: N/A
Function: Enforcer of the rules
First appearance: Right here

"Udd-der. UDD-DERRR!"


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Joan Bur-Cow enjoys a scrap as much as the next Battle Beast, but insists on ensuring that all concerned abide by the rules of fair play. These rules include announcing your intention to attack at least 4 seconds before attacking, outnumbering the enemy by no more than a ratio of 3-to-1, and honouring time-out requests provided that they have reasonable justification, such as it being tea-time, or the person making the request having suddenly thought of a brilliant new invention that they need to tell someone about before they die. If you disobey the rules, the Bodacious Bovine is likely to give you a gentle talking-to and a (cow-)pat on the head, and then, after a 4-second warning, lop your head off.

Abilities: Joan Bur-Cow can invoke the power of wood, either causing trees to grow at unnatural speed, winding around her foes to trap or crush them or stab them with their pointy bits, or else summoning up a medium-sized tree trunk to whack her enemy in the face. The power of wood can also nullify the magic of any Battle Beast who invokes the power of water. She carries a scimitar. It's really, really sharp. Her combat armour includes a reinforced hat sculpted to resemble a sacred cow-pat.

Weaknesses: The Bodacious Bovine's power of wood only works on planets that are home to trees, i.e. it won't work on board starships, space stations or artificial planets such as Cybertron. And it can, of course, be nullified by the power of fire.

Strength: 7
Intelligence: 7
Speed: 2
Endurance: 8
Rank: N/A
Courage: 10
Firepower: 3
Skill: 7

Good lord Martin

[Andy Turnbull]

Best thread ever.

[Grand Moff Muffin]

PILLAGING POLAR BATTLE BEAR

Allegiance: N/A
Function: Cold warfare
First appearance: Right here

"Chill or be chilled."


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Pillaging Polar Battle Bear battles for fun. Although he looks friendly enough, he has a frosty disposition and will either give you an icy reception or, more likely, freeze your assets and lay you out cold.

Abilities: Polar Battle Bear invokes the power of water to summon a sudden hail or snow storm covering an area of 4 hectares, lasting up to 45 seconds, or, alternatively, cause sharp ice spikes to rise from the ground and impale his opponents and/or hit them in the face with a massive snowball. The power of water can also nullify the magic of any Battle Beast who invokes the power of fire. He carries an ice axe that is useful for building igloos.

Weaknesses: A Battle Beast with very strong fire magic can cause Polar Battle Bear's snow and ice powers to revert to a standard water attack. He doesn't adapt well to climate change.

Strength: 8
Intelligence: 4
Speed: 5
Endurance: 8
Rank: N/A
Courage: 10
Firepower: 3
Skill: 5

[The Doctor]

The greatest thing on the internet this week!

-Ralph

[Grand Moff Muffin]

ZEALOT ZEBRA BALL

Allegiance: N/A
Function: War games
First appearance: Right here

"I'm fine, it's just a flesh wound."


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Zealot Zebra Ball battles for fun. He is so named because he is zealous in his commitment to organising regular games of Battle Ball with all his fellow Battle Beasts. Battle Ball is the most dangerous sport in the Galaxy and banned on most civilised worlds. Zealot Zebra Ball lost his left leg and right arm in games of Battle Ball and is now a cyborg, but his love for the contest remains undiminished.

Abilities: Zealot Zebra Ball uses the power of wood to block his opponents' path when playing Battle Ball, and nullify the magic of any Battle Beast who invokes the power of water. His sword is a classic Battle Ball design, excellent for lopping off body parts. By contrast, Zealot Zebra's left hand replacement is a scoopy-hoof-thingy that isn't really good for anything except making rude gestures.

Weaknesses: Zealot Zebra Ball's power of wood only works on planets that are home to trees, i.e. it won't work on board starships, space stations or artificial planets such as Cybertron. And it can, of course, be nullified by the power of fire. Also, he is the worst Battle Ball player in the history of the universe.

Strength: 6
Intelligence: 4
Speed: 7
Endurance: 6
Rank: N/A
Courage: 10
Firepower: 2
Skill: 2

[Grand Moff Muffin]

BUPINK THE PILLAGER PIG

Allegiance: N/A
Function: Mud warfare
First appearance: Right here

"A vote for sausages is a vote for PAIN."


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Mention bacon, gammon, pork, or, worst of all, the trigger word SAUSAGES, and you will send Bupink into a murderous rage that will probably result in the untimely deaths of all those unfortunate enough to be within range of her spear of judgement. Bupink is friendly towards herbivores, but goes out of her way to challenge meat-eaters like Danger Bowdog, Jaded Power Jag and Pillaging Polar Battle Bear to mortal combat at every conceivable opportunity.

Abilities: Bupink invokes the power of water to turn any but the hardest ground into liquid mud, bogging down her opponents and allowing her to move in and finish them off with her very scary spear. Alternatively, her battle armour has a microwave beam mounted on its chest that she can use to super-heat the mud that she creates, bringing it to its bubbling, steaming boiling point and making things very unpleasant for her enemies.

Weaknesses: Battle Beasts who possess the power of wood can magic themselves up a tree trunk or a raft to save themselves from sinking into Bupink's mud traps.

Strength: 5
Intelligence: 5
Speed: 3
Endurance: 6
Rank: N/A
Courage: 9
Firepower: 5
Skill: 6

[Grand Moff Muffin]

JADED POWER JAG

Allegiance: N/A
Function: Martial arts specialist
First appearance: Right here

"A kick and a punch and I'm knocking off for lunch."


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Jaded Power Jag knows kung-fu,
Jaded Power Jag's coming for you.
He's really mean,
He'll rupture your spleen,
Unless you're a cat,
Or something like that.
His power of wood
Is not very good,
But you'd be wise to fear
His pointy sharp spear.

Strength: 6
Intelligence: 4
Speed: 6
Endurance: 6
Rank: N/A
Courage: 10
Firepower: 2
Skill: 9

[JADED POWER JAG'S PAL

Allegiance: N/A
Function: Decoy
First appearance: Right here

"Are you seeing double? Then you're in real trouble."


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Jaded Power Jag has a friend.
Together they'll drive you round the bend.
They swap their suits,
Including their boots.
Which one is which?
One's poor, one's rich.
Your situation's dire
As his pal invokes fire.
It's rather unfair
But they don't really care.

Strength: 6
Intelligence: 3
Speed: 6
Endurance: 6
Rank: N/A
Courage: 9
Firepower: 6
Skill: 7]

[The Doctor]

This is amazing.

-Ralph

[Grand Moff Muffin]

YELLOW HUNCHBACK CAMELUS

Allegiance: N/A
Function: Battle Beast elder
First appearance: Right here

"The past is littered with the ashes of my enemies."


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Yellow Hunchback Camelus, or 'Auntie Camel', as she prefers to be called, is the oldest surviving Battle Beast, claiming to be 36 years old, a lifespan unheard of on Planet Beast. Those who question her claim to that age tend to have their own lifespans quickly curtailed as she knocks the stuffing out of them with her spiked thing on a stick. When not telling tales of past glories round the camp fire, Auntie Camel leads a train of younger camel Battle Beasts through the desert regions of Planet Beast, teaching them the secrets of Battle Beast magic and a hundred recipes involving desert mushrooms. It is important to clarify that although a train of camels follows in her wake, Auntie Camel is not herself a train. She's a camel.

Abilities: Although not as awesome a fighter as Hare Razing Rabbit Kid (who could be?), Auntie Camel is arguably the next most formidable Battle Beast fighter, having literally umpteen confirmed kills to her name, and having the power to invoke both fire and water. When she uses both forms of magic at the same time, she can create lethal jets of steam to scald her enemies, or, alternatively, steam clouds to conceal her position while she moves in close to clobber them with her spiky stick thing.

Weaknesses: Auntie Camel isn't as quick and nimble as she was in her youth.

Strength: 6
Intelligence: 9
Speed: 2
Endurance: 9
Rank: N/A
Courage: 9
Firepower: 7
Skill: 9

[Grand Moff Muffin]

PLATINUM SABRE SWORD TIGER

Allegiance: N/A
Function: Training dummy
First appearance: Right here

"I'll get you next time."


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Platinum Sabre Sword Tiger battles for fun. He's great to practise on, because he's a rubbish fighter and doesn't seem to mind getting beaten up. This makes him really popular with younger Battle Beasts. It is understood by one and all that anyone who seriously maims Platinum Tiger will be taken to one side and quietly obliscerated.

Abilities: Platinum Tiger possesses the power of wood. At any rate, he's very good at carpentry. He made his own training sword out of a branch from his favourite tree. It's not sharp and has a safety bobble on its pointy end.

Weaknesses: He's just a bit crap overall, to be perfectly honest.

Strength: 5
Intelligence: 2
Speed: 5
Endurance: 7
Rank: N/A
Courage: 10
Firepower: 1
Skill: 3

[Grand Moff Muffin]

RAINBOW SAM

Allegiance: Decepticon
Sub-group: Laser Beast
Function: First mate
First appearance: Right here

"Who you callin' a pretty boy?"


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Rainbow Sam is Shocking Shark's garrulous first mate. When Shocking Shark is in floating island mode, Rainbow Sam is invariably up in the crow's nest, squawking orders and taking pot-shots at anything in sight. When the Decepticon pirate lord is in his shark configuration, Rainbow Sam flies on ahead, scouting out potential targets. He has an annoying habit of continuously repeating what other people have just said.

Abilities: Rainbow Sam wields a long-range, armour-piercing, rapid-fire laser machine gun with telescopic infra-red scope. And he's quite a good marksman. He uses his power of water to absorb energy from the seas of Planet Beast to charge his weapon, so that it never runs low on power. When he gets tired of flying, Rainbow Sam rides the Battle Buzzsaw mobility scooter.



Weaknesses: Rainbow Sam's bright colours often attract the attention of other sea-faring Battle Beasts, alerting them to the fact that Shocking Shark is on the way and giving them time to flee or prepare to mount a defence. His rifle is too heavy for him to carry when flying. If he takes it inland on foot, he must be careful to use it sparingly, since he can only recharge it in the presence of water.

Strength: 3
Intelligence: 5
Speed: 7
Endurance: 3
Rank: 7
Courage: 9
Firepower: 9
Skill: 7

[blueshift]

Mar 22, 2019 18:31:09 GMT Grand Moff Muffin said:

RAINBOW SAM

Loving these Martin

Though I feel his rifle should just be too heavy to carry regardless

[Grand Moff Muffin]

JEERERMONKEY

Allegiance: Decepticon
Sub-group: Laser Beast
Function: Pirate
First appearance: Right here

"Ah! Your flies are undone! And your spiders are also doomed!"


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Jeerermonkey takes great care over his personal appearance, considering himself to be the most handsome of all Battle Beasts. When he leads a boarding party and the enemy stand gaping at him in disbelief, he feels sure that this is because they are intimidated by his good looks. He shouts insults at his foes non-stop throughout a battle, and continues to do so as he marches his captive back to Shocking Shark's prison cell. He also takes Rainbow Sam's repetition of his insults back at him as a compliment to his razor-sharp wit.

Abilities: Jeerermonkey's most prized possession is a laser cannon made from the head of a fallen Decepticon warrior whose nose was even bigger than that of the gun's current owner. This unfortunate Decepticon was killed by three throwing knives to the back of the head. Jeerermonkey charges the gun up by invoking the power of wood whenever Shocking Shark drops anchor close to a forest. When boarding an enemy vessel, Jeerermonkey slaps his foes around with his special foe-slapping glove.

Weaknesses: Jeerermonkey can be vanquished most easily in battle by twanging his nose, provided you can find a way to get past his special glove.

Strength: 4
Intelligence: 2
Speed: 6
Endurance: 3
Rank: 5
Courage: 10
Firepower: 8
Skill: 4

[Grand Moff Muffin]

MONKEYFIGHTERS

Allegiance: Decepticon
Sub-group: Laser Beasts
Function: Cannon-fodder
First appearance: Right here

"Ook."


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: The Monkeyfighters are a clan of simple-minded Battle Beasts. They battle for fun, and when ordered to do so by Shocking Shark and Rainbow Sam. I'm not sure exactly how many of them there are, because they're always on the move, which makes it very difficult to count them. It is suspected that Shocking Shark knows the location of a secret island on Planet Beast where there is an endless supply of Monkeyfighters, as he seems able to replace them as quickly as they fall in battle.

Abilities: The Monkeyfighters carry flamethrowers, which they charge up using the power of fire. They wear ineffective chain-mail and rather poor approximations of traditional pirate headgear.

Weaknesses: The Monkeyfighters' ineffective chain-mail is ineffective, and, in any case, it doesn't cover their crystal power balls. If you smash the giant marble in the middle of a Monkeyfighter's torso, he or she will instantly self-combust.

Strength: 4
Intelligence: 1
Speed: 6
Endurance: 3
Rank: 4
Courage: 10
Firepower: 7
Skill: 4

[Grand Moff Muffin]

PUZZLECOLOUR

Allegiance: Autobot
Sub-group: Laser Beast
Function: Gunner
First appearance: Right here

"If you think I'm ugly, take a look at yourself after I've blown your brains out."


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Puzzlecolour is Red Phoenix the Blazing Eagle's gunner. He perches behind Red Phoenix's head in eagle mode, and in his gun turret in defence base mode. He is a charming fellow.

Abilities: Puzzlecolour wields a long-range mega-laser death-blaster rifle with motion-tracking zoom-vision target-lock capability. And he's pretty darned accurate with the thing. He uses his power of fire to absorb solar energy from Planet Beast's twin suns to charge his weapon, so that it never runs low on power. He can change colour at will. In his permanent role of riding around on perhaps the most conspicuous-looking Autobot in the known Galaxy, he has yet to find a practical application for this particular ability. When sent on scouting missions by Red Phoenix, Puzzlecolour rides the Battle Eagle mobility scooter.



Weaknesses: When he changes colour, his armour remains blue, and Red Phoenix continues to looks like a giant bird that's on fire. He's very slow, and isn't strong enough to carry his gun very far on his own, so he's highly reliant on Red Phoenix for his continued survival. Without the Autobot, Puzzlecolour would have to give up his gun and armour and just try to blend in and not be noticed by anyone. He much prefers being a gunner who strikes fear into the hearts of all who see him.

Strength: 3
Intelligence: 5
Speed: 2
Endurance: 4
Rank: 5
Courage: 8
Firepower: 9
Skill: 7

[Grand Moff Muffin]

CONDORASSIN THE CONDOR ASSASSIN

Allegiance: Decepticon
Sub-group: Laser Beast
Function: High-altitude sniper
First appearance: Right here

"I'm a condor and an assassin, got it?"


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Condorassin is employed as a scout and skirmisher for Wood Beetle, the Decepticon harvester unit. She uses her shooting skills to cripple unsuspecting Battle Beasts so that Wood Beetle can scoop them up in his claw and, after they've received emergency medical treatment to stop the bleeding, put them away in his prison cell until they're ready to be released as the loyal and enthusiastic Decepticon recruits they always were in their heart of hearts, if only they'd admitted the truth to themselves. Condorassin is very sensitive about her name.

Abilities: Condorassin wields a hypersonic laser pulse sniper kill-rifle with computer-enhanced, ultra-magnifying 'gotcha' sights. And she's a decent shot to boot. She uses her power of wood to absorb energy from the forests of Planet Beast to charge her weapon, so that it never runs low on power. When she gets tired of flying, Condorassin rides the Battle Savanna mobility scooter.



Weaknesses: Condorassin struggles to carry her weapon when flying, and, at these times, makes an easy target for enemy gunners.

Strength: 4
Intelligence: 4
Speed: 7
Endurance: 3
Rank: 5
Courage: 9
Firepower: 9
Skill: 7

[Grand Moff Muffin]

FLYING DRAGON

Allegiance: N/A
Sub-group: Laser Beast
Function: Cleaning and gardening services
First appearance: Right here

"Cleanliness before beastliness."


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Flying Dragon is one of a growing number of Battle Beasts coming out in recent months against battling for fun. For decades, expressing such sentiments was taboo on Planet Beast, but with the species on the brink of extinction, and with the arrival of the Autobots, who offer a degree of protection for those who prefer peace to warfare, alternative lifestyles have now become socially acceptable on the planet's southern land mass, whose skies are patrolled by Red Phoenix the Blazing Eagle. Although originally classed as a Laser Beast, Flying Dragon quickly traded his plasma-burst doom cannon in for something more to his liking, and he now works as a janitor and gardener in the newly constructed coastal resort town of Beastbourne.

Abilities: Flying Dragon carries a power-washer, charged by invoking the power of water. The power-washer also functions as a vacuum-cleaner and leaf-blower. He has an extendable litter-picker in place of his left hand.

Weaknesses: Flying Dragon has no offensive capabilities and so is unable to retaliate if attacked.

Strength: 6
Intelligence: 5
Speed: 7
Endurance: 5
Rank: N/A
Courage: 8
Firepower: 1
Skill: 4

HORNHEAD

Allegiance: N/A
Sub-group: Laser Beast
Function: Building contractor
First appearance: Right here

"Milk and two sugars for me, please, and I wouldn't say no to a biscuit."


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Hornhead is another of the growing number of Battle Beasts coming out in recent months against battling for fun. Although originally classed as a Laser Beast, Hornhead's skill lies in construction, and he has taken charge of building the new coastal resort town of Beastbourne to act as a haven for all peace-loving Battle Beasts. He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, he goes to the lavatory... and then he uses the trees he has cut down to build homes and workplaces for his fellow citizens, and has buttered scones for tea. Hornhead's grandfather was one of the Battle Beasts encountered decades past by the first Decepticon scouting mission to Planet Beast, and it is believed that he inspired the design of Skullgrin's Pretender shell.

Abilities: Hornead carries a welding torch, charged by invoking the power of fire. The torch also functions as a semi-automatic nail gun and chainsaw. He possesses as well the power of wood, which he uses to cause trees to grow from the ground whenever he requires timber. He uses his head as a battering ram when existing structures require demolition, and his versatile left hand attachment can produce any other tools that he needs to do his job. Thanks to the Autobots, he also has a number of drilling units at his disposal for tunnelling and heavy demolition work.



Weaknesses: Hornhead flies into a rage if warring Battle Beasts damage or destroy any of his creations whilst battling for fun, and can find himself threatened with dismemberment by the targets of his wrath. However, his strength and power tools usually enable him to defend himself, and he is known as a force to be reckoned with if stirred to anger.

Strength: 8
Intelligence: 5
Speed: 2
Endurance: 8
Rank: N/A
Courage: 9
Firepower: 3
Skill: 7

KICKBACKS

Allegiance: N/A
Sub-group: Laser Beasts
Function: Emergency services
First appearance: Right here

"Move along, nothing to see here!"


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: The Kickback swarm counts itself amongst the growing number of Battle Beasts coming out in recent months against battling for fun. Although originally classed as Laser Beasts, the Kickbacks are caring and compassionate creatures who want nothing more than to ease pain and suffering and save lives. They put out forest and grass fires started by warring Battle Beasts, and scour battlefields for the wounded, to whom they offer first aid and conveyance to hospital in the newly constructed resort haven of Beastbourne. A previous generation of Kickbacks was amongst the Battle Beasts encountered decades past by the first Decepticon scouting mission to Planet Beast, and it is believed that they inspired the design of Bugly's Pretender shell.

Abilities: The Kickbacks carry fire-extinguisher cannons, charged by using the power of water. These also function as sirens and loudspeakers when it becomes necessary to broadcast hazard warnings to people over large distances.

Weaknesses: The Kickbacks are fearless and think nothing of flying into harm's way when on their missions of mercy. As a result, they frequently suffer casualties. They mourn every loss, though other Battle Beasts can't tell one Kickback from another, so they rarely receive thanks for their services and sacrifice.

Strength: 6
Intelligence: 3
Speed: 7
Endurance: 5
Rank: N/A
Courage: 10
Firepower: 2
Skill: 5

[Grand Moff Muffin]

COLONEL BIRD FLYKICK

Allegiance: N/A
Function: Fearless feathered fighter
First appearance: Characters from the 1987 Toy Range: Battletrap's Beasts - They Battle for Fun

"Tower, this is Goose Rider requesting a flyby."


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Colonel Bird Flykick claims to be more than 30 years old, making him the second-oldest Battle Beast after Yellow Hunchback Camelus. No-one remembers seeing him up until a few years ago, but Colonel Bird explains that this is because he was originally a resident of the now-deserted western land mass of Planet Beast, and was, in fact, the last Battle Beast to leave that continent for the unknown perils of outer space, some two decades ago, in what became known as the Great Western Exodus, or 'Gwexit'. He claims to have flown right around the Galaxy, stopping off at Grand Central Space Station for late afternoon tea, before hopping back into the cockpit of his trusty Spit-Hurricane and zipping home to Planet Beast in time for sherry and biscuits in the officers' mess, hurrah! Colonel Bird claims to have fought in the now-legendary scuffles between such controversial historical figures as White Leo the Pirate Lion, Bighorn Bombsheep and Alligatron the Gruesome Gator. He has a hundred tall tales with which to regale admiring listeners. For example, he will assure you with authority that the stoic and witty last words of the great Pirate Lion were "You bastard! I'm being swept overboard!" while Bighorn Bombsheep's were "Damn, the ship's still on fire," and Alligatron's dying bon mot was simply "Gotta- ACK!"

Abilities: With a whirl of his trident-harpoon-thing, Colonel Bird invokes the power of fire to rain flaming balls of destruction on his enemies below, or, if he's engaged in a friendly bout, he flies at his opponent and kicks them in the teeth before tickling them into submission with his wrist-mounted tickling feathers.

Weaknesses: Drink and women.

Strength: 4
Intelligence: 5
Speed: 7
Endurance: 4
Rank: N/A
Courage: 10
Firepower: 7
Skill: 7

[Grand Moff Muffin]

SLEDGEHAMMER ELEPHANT

Allegiance: N/A
Function: Featherweight champion of the Galaxy 2019 and global celebrity
First appearance: Characters from the 1987 Toy Range: Battle Beasts Fight!

"I'm thick-skinned but sensitive."


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Profile: Sledgehammer Elephant, descendant of the Battle Beast elephants who left Planet Beast decades ago in the Great Western Exodus, makes his first appearance on the homeworld of his ancestors fresh from his triumph at the 2019 Galaxy Kombat tournament on Derut Four, the Galaxy's most prestigious annual gladiatorial fighting tournament for beings of Micromaster size and smaller. He is a terrifying warrior to face in battle, but friendly and approachable to strangers, provided that they mind their manners. Sledgehammer Elephant hates flying, and mice.

Abilities: Sledgehammer Elephant is the strongest Battle Beast living, with the obvious exception of Hare Razing Rabbit Kid. He has a very tough armoured hide, and there's not much that can stop him when he puts his head down and charges. He has mastered the powers of both wood and water, a rare accomplishment for a Battle Beast. He can shoot jets of water from his trunk that impact with lethal force, and can summon trees to grow from the ground and entangle the legs of his opponents. He can also magic up tree trunks which he uses to club his enemies to death, as an alternative to hitting them with his mighty hammer-hand or impaling them on his spiked spear-club.

Weaknesses: Although he won't admit it, Sledgehammer Elephant was badly shaken by the deaths of his four friends - Giader the War Weasel, Grayox the Roamin' Buffalo, Swiny Boar Wildthunder and Violethorn the Bloodthirsty Bison - in the Murderpits of Derut Four, three of them at the hands of a Vrobian psychic vampire disguised as a Battle Beast. He has also had his own mortality - something that Battle Beasts are generally oblivious to - brought to his attention by his own 'death' in the second sub-round of the tournament final, at which time he was cut down by his opponent's axe. The event's organisers brought him back to life with their miraculous medical technology in order to fight in the third and last sub-round, but it was nevertheless a harrowing experience to go through. Sledgehammer Elephant wishes he were cleverer and more subtle. A more cunning tournament winner, faced with the prospect of going back to a perilous day job, might have found a way to steal that technology, and thereby cheat death once more should he - or she - ever suffer fatal injuries again in the course of business. Without that technology, Sledgehammer knows that his next death is likely to prove fatal.

Strength: 10
Intelligence: 5
Speed: 5
Endurance: 9
Rank: N/A
Courage: 10
Firepower: 5
Skill: 7

[Grand Moff Muffin]

GODS OF PLANET BEAST

1. THE GREAT CARROT GOD

Allegiance: Unknown
Function: God of carrots
First appearance: Right here

"Bring me more carrots!"


Image source: www.toyarchive.com

Deep in the uncharted interior of Planet Beast's southern land mass is a mist-shrounded area, spoken of only in whispers, known to the Battle Beasts as the Great Carrot Patch. It is here that Big Serow the Deer Stalker ventures, not without trepidation, to obtain his giant carrots, and it is also here that the Great Carrot God roams at will, trundling here and there, with the largest carrots you have ever seen growing out of its ears, and carrots almost as large spinning and snapping on either side. No-one knows for sure when the Great Carrot God was first sighted - some say it was not long after the first Decepticon scouting party arrived on the planet, though there is no evidence to suggest a connection between those two events. At any rate, the Battle Beasts recognised divinity when they saw it, and promptly set about worshipping the entity and ensuring that its carrot-juice tanks remain forever full.