Sausages!

[Gav]

I'm determined to have sausages tonight. Perhaps the uncouth beast that is the SAUSAGE SUPPER from the chippy.

[The Doctor]

If so, wrap up warm. It's cold out there.

-Ralph

[Philip Ayres]

While trying to work out which bits of my Giant Acroyear were missing I noticed the item listed near the bottom on the right in the premiums section

[The Doctor]

Learn all about the sausage race.

-Ralph

[Hero]

Anyone remember that Robinson Crusoe film set in space where Sausages grew on plants?

[legios]

That would be "Robinson Crusoe on Mars" I believe. didn't he have a Monkey in that one as well?

Karl

[The Doctor]

That's a great film! And so obscure! I caught it once late at night many many years ago.



-Ralph

[Hero]

On Channel 4 right?

[The Doctor]

Yes it was indeed.

It was brilliant! Bit torrent file...located!

-Ralph

[Hero]

I think I'll hunt that one down myself.

[The Doctor]

If you have a look on mininova.org, there is a working torrent there.

-Ralph

[The Doctor]

Sausage shortage for Swiss.

-Ralph

[Gav]

Oh, those poor people!

[Grand Moff Muffin]

BE WARNED: HIGHLY CONTROVERSIAL POST ABOUT SAUSAGES FOLLOWS

I'm not a vegetarian. I like my meat, but I know eating meat is not good environmentally, particularly not when it's humane, non-intensive, free-range, etc. The world couldn't sustain all six billion people eating as much meat as we do.

So! I was thinking, I wish I didn't like meat so much, but why is it that a society that can put a man on the moon, a human ear on a mouse and a computer in a matchbox can't make convincing imitation meat out of veggie matter without actually growing an animal?

Why can't they invent a way to make a steak or a pork chop that doesn't involve a cow and a pig?

And then I though, aha! But I've had decent veggie sausages and burgers. They can make them of similar taste and consistency to meat sausages. But if them, why not steaks and chops?

And the reason is, sausages and burgers are processed meat. You don't have to tear at them with your incisors, and chew them with your molars. They've already been chewed for you by a machine. You can fake chewed meat.

So! Despite being a meat-lover, I could happily do without meat sausages. but it's the consistency and chewiness of a nice steak that I'd miss. It's the meat that hasn't been pre-chewed by a machine that most of us meat-eaters can't do without. If it were just sausages and burgers, I bet most of us wouldn't mind going vegetarian, because they don't have the consistency of meat. They don't appeal to our carnivorous side.

And that's about the point that I arrived at work.

Martin

[The Doctor]

I'm quite partial to Quorn sausages.

-Ralph

[legios]

martinm said:

BE WARNED: HIGHLY CONTROVERSIAL POST ABOUT SAUSAGES FOLLOWS

Martin

You may have a point there actually. Texture is not often thought about but it is important. I must admit I haven't put much thought into this but I think aroma is quite important to - one of my colleagues is a vegetarian (actually several are) and she says that one of the things that she most misses is the smell of sausages and bacon cooking. She doesn't want to eat them, nor does she miss them very much - except when she can smell them cooking.

(That said, one of my other vegetarian colleagues - whenever another colleague fixes themselves a sausage sandwich or bacon butty for lunch - declares that the smell of it makes her feel unwell and proceeds to spray a large cloud of chemical air-freshener around our teams desks. Which then promptly makes me feel ill.... So folks mileage probably varies on this one.)

I did try Quorn sausages a while back, but they seem to use egg to bind them and as I have a bit of an allergic reaction to egg that didn't work out so well as a plan.... Shame really, because they were fairly palatable.

Karl

[Shockprowl]

Quorn is yummy. Mrs Shockprowl being a vegetarian pretty much makes me a vegetarian, at home anyway. Don't often miss meat. But I do love the taste of a good burger.

[Grand Moff Muffin]

shockprowl said:

Quorn is yummy.

But quorn steaks would never sell. It can only substitute for processed meat, which in turn can no more substitute for a good meaty chew than quorn itself.

No-one has yet managed to make a non-meat product with the texture of real meat. Can anyone explain why we aren't capable of doing that?

There's one scene in The Matrix that I think is really well done, where they go from the real world, with people eating grey slop, into the Matrix, where the traitor is eating a steak with Agent Smith and considering the nature of reality. He says:

"You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? Ignorance is bliss."

That scene always has me salivating.

But it wouldn't have the same effect if it were pre-chewed meat such as sausages.

Martin

[The Doctor]

Beast Wars Sausages. Newer Hubbers may not yet know the glory.



-Ralph

[Gav]

NEED BEAST WARS SAUSAGES!

[grahamthomson]

Thank God for Peter Parker, and thank God for YouTube.

[Cullen]

There's now a Bratwurst sausage stand just outside the office. I need to walk past it to get to work, go to my usual sandwich shop and go for my bus home. I'm going to be bankrupt by the end of the month!

[Philip Ayres]

What was this thread doing on P3 unupdated for the month of Feb ??

Had a wonderful Sausage sandwich for dinner last night. Said porky goodness was annointed with fried onion, ketchup and some apple chutney. Divine.

[The Doctor]

I am limiting my sausage intake of late as I put on a couple of pounds which I'd like to re-lose.

-Ralph

[The Doctor]

Having said that I did have a roll with 2xlink sausage for brunch.

-Ralph

[Philip Ayres]

A sausage and egg pie i8s promised for tea tonight

[The Doctor]

For lunch today I had some salami,
To snatch the last was somewhat jammy.
There were not many sausages in the local shop,
To them I must give the chop.

Into my cheese buns the sausages went,
I was dismayed that my knife was slightly bent.
And so it was harder to apply the butter,
Which was tricky to find in the fridge's clutter.

I poured myself some lemonade,
That I had bought and not made.
And settled down to watch Doctor Who and the Planet of the Spiders,
Which made me want to build some super-colliders.

-Ralph

[The Doctor]

The Cardiff pub sausage and mash was mighty indeed.

-Ralph

[Gav]

I have been informed that tonight's trip to my mother's shall herald a dish of Cumberland Sausages and Mashed Potato!

[The Doctor]

Ooooo, cumberland! Not had that for a while.

-Ralph