Films you know are s**t but you still love

[Andy Turnbull]

As a counterpoint to Ralph's thread of despair I thought I'd redress the balance. Come share your guilty celluloid pleasures as you talk of films you know are pants but you cannot help loving them.

Masters of the Universe is one for me. It's so cheap and the dialogue in places is laughable but thanks to the presence of Frank Langella the film is always enjoyable whenever he is on screen.

Another of which I've recently shared/inflicted on the scots group is Crank. It's utter bollocks and it knows it is and as such is completely and unashamedly ludicrous and I can't help but grin while watching it.

Andy

MOD EDIT: Just edited out the swearing in the title, user complaints, etc, etc. Please continue to swear as much as you can within the thread.

[The Doctor]

I too love Masters of the Universe. Really must pick up the DVD some time. It is glorious campy nonsense and Frank Langella is literally in another universe from everyone else.

Another crap film I love is Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. Atrocious special effects and it falls to bits in the last 15 minutes, and yet I can't help but love it. It has a certain terrible charm. I love the crapness of it! The Sybok shuffle! "I want my pain! I need my pain!" The campfire scene! "They say the Great Barrier has never been breached! I say they are wrong! I say the danger is an illusion!" Love it, love it, love it. Also: DeForest Kelley was incapable of putting in a bad performance.

-Ralph

[The Doctor]

Also: the 'thrilling' Iron Eagle series. And Delta Force 1-2.

-Ralph

[duffism1981]

Another vote for the He-man movie. After years of failing to find it anywhere on DVD, I finally found it in cash converters last year for £2.99. Fantastic cheeseo'rama.

I will also say not one film, but any Jackie Chan hollywood produced film. I know they are naff, but its Jackie blood Chan. I don't care about the story as long as I see his awesome moves.

May as well add here that I actually enjoyed the Ally McCoist movie, A Shot at Glory!

[Deleted]

The original Power Rangers movie was utter pap but I still like it for reasons that have escaped me.

[jameso]

Masters of the Universe is brilliant! Frank Langhella as Skeletor is absolutely immense.

My favourite shit film is Jaws 3.

[Gav]

As i've said before- most of my DVD collection is comprised of terrible films.

Favourites: Delta Force 2 , Shark Attack 3, Boa vs. Python, Jack Frost (horror version - not Keaton), U.S Navy Seals 2.

[KoshNaranek]

MOTU for all it's faults is very watchable and enjoyable and actually has one of the few instances in cinematic history where the villian gives a logical answer to the hero when he makes a request. I refer to the scene near the end when everyone is held captive within Castle Greyskull and He-Man says to Skeletor "Let them go!". Skeletor replies "NO!", He-Man asks "Why not?" and Skeletor replies "Because you wish it!". The look on He-Man's face is priceless! It's as if he's thinking "He wasn't supposed to say that!".

Judge Dredd is another favourite, and anything with Chuck Norris.

- Tony

[The Doctor]

gav said:

As i've said before- most of my DVD collection is comprised of terrible films.

Favourites: Delta Force 2 , Shark Attack 3, Boa vs. Python, Jack Frost (horror version - not Keaton), U.S Navy Seals 2.

HMV now have an exclusive boxset of all three Shark Attack films! £7. For a terrible moment, temptation was mine.

-Ralph

[legios]

I haven't seen "Masters of the Universe" for a good many years, but for my part I remember the only watchable part of it was Frank Langhella. I still want to see whatever movie he was in, because it certainly wasn't the same one as the rest of the cast.

(I saw "Crank" over at Andy's a while back - it is... different. It has a unique kind of bonkersness. I'm glad I have seen it. Would I see it twice, not so sure. But it was certainly worth seeing that one time).

My nomination for this thread would be the original English dubbed version of "King Kong vs Godzilla" - yes the film has been gutted, with a large chunk of its running time (and in fact a couple of entire plots) ripped out and replaced with horrendously cheaply done scenes with American actors. Yes, the Toho Kong suit is a truly poor example of the genre. But still there is something about the film that I adore. I think it is the fact that the American scenes appear to have been shot without any real understanding of the fact that the film was originally a comedy - the end result is that the attempts and B-movie style sincerity look even sillier when matched up with scenes where a giant monkey and a radioactive sea monster header boulders at each other. It is a special kind of accidental genius.

Karl

[panderson]

My Film collection is alos filled with utter pap I should not love
MOTU is indeed high on the list, as is Flash Gordon
Recent additions to my pap list is Howard the Duck - watched last night with huge grin on face
Buckaroo Banzai is close to perfection on this account for me
Misfits of Science for the go johnny go scene alone
Mortal Kombat..."Exxxactly" - Chris Lambert can do no wrong by me
Zardoz
Girlfriend from Hell
I could go on all night
Zone Troopers, Trancers - Tim Thomerson rules
Battle beyond the stars
Ice Pirates
this thread was built for me and my vid collection
Space Hunter - Adventures in the Forbidden Zone
Dungeon master
In fact most of the old 80's Empire films and some of the first few of the Band films when it became Full Moon films
Dang - I am sad

[The Doctor]

Ah, Battle Beyond the Stars! It is a supreme slice of cheese.

Also on my list is the 90's unreleased Fantastic Four film. It is utterly terrible and yet sublime all at the same time.

-Ralph

[legios]

thedoctor said:

Ah, Battle Beyond the Stars! It is a supreme slice of cheese.
-Ralph

"Battle Beyond the Stars" - or if one prefers, "Seven Samurai iiiiiin Spaaaaace". Silly, silly film. Nice effects work for its budget though.

"Mortal Combat" I remember last seeing when extremely sleep-deprived and zombified. Most of it passed in a flurry of fists, feet and silly costumes for me. (But my mind was boggled recently to learn that one of the villians stunt doubles was a Thai gentleman who would later be known to the world as Tony Jaa.... )

Karl

[Gav]

thedoctor said:

gav said:

As i've said before- most of my DVD collection is comprised of terrible films.

Favourites: Delta Force 2 , Shark Attack 3, Boa vs. Python, Jack Frost (horror version - not Keaton), U.S Navy Seals 2.

HMV now have an exclusive boxset of all three Shark Attack films! £7. For a terrible moment, temptation was mine.

-Ralph

Fuck a duck.

Ralph, even for Shark Attack 3 - it's worth it for Barrowman. I swear on all that is sacred (ie: Star Convoy and Grandus operating together and the lift going up and down etc) that you will never be disappointed with it.

[jameso]

Mortal Kombat is also excellent.

[Hero]

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation was awesome!

[KoshNaranek]

Misfits of Science is truly brilliant for all the wrong reasons.

Click on the link below for some fantastic Chuck Norris facts:

www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

- Tony

[Deleted]

There are three books out that list all of the terible and not-so-terrible movies released onto DVD. The books are called DVD Delirium and run into three volumes and are recommended for anyone who has an interest in such movies. Here's the link to the books on Amazon.
amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_b?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=dvd+delirium

I have volumes 1 and 3 and I must say that I never knew there was so much shit released onto DVD.

[Hero]

I liked Class of Nukem High.

Classic Tromaville crapness.

[Gav]

Oh Class of Nukem high is a classic! Damned Cretins!

[Shockprowl]

thedoctor said:

...Also: DeForest Kelley was incapable of putting in a bad performance.

-Ralph

Kelley's the best actor ever to appear in any incarnation of Star Trek along with Patrick Stewart and David Warner. He's a legend, and indeed his performance in Final Frontier is excellant. The rest of the film though... urk!


I'm interested to hear what you chaps think 'bout my offering to this thread. It's a film I utterly love, but that every one else I've ever mentioned it too thinks its silly at best.

THE CORE!!!!

They travel to the centre of the Earth for heaven's sake! Some of the performances are good, the characterisation is great, the effects and action are good! It's a great film! What say You?!

Ian

[Dark Stranger]

Hahahahahahahaha, I love The Core. It's such an utterly stupid movie that it can't fail to entertain.

"Unobtanium", I mean come on, what's not to like?

[Shockprowl]

It's Mint! Another Core lover! Mrs Shockprowl wont believe it!!!

[Shockprowl]

Oh! Just remembered in The Core, when the chap called 'Rat' is trying to break into the network that controls the what-ever-it-is, and he starts crying! Crying with the intensity of it all! Oh how I roared with laughter!

And Swank is just, well, swanky!

[Dark Stranger]

It's a brilliant movie to watch with the lads along with a load of beer.

[Hero]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III

===KEN

[duffism1981]

All the talk about Mortal Kombat, has reminded me that I forgot to add Street Fighter as one of those totally naff films, that I just love to watch. it seemed to be the last famous film any of the cast would star in.

Well okay Van Damme made Time Cop after it, but since then his career has been in the toilet.

[Deleted]

Timecop is the only Van Damme film I have any time for as all of his other films are shit. Talking about Van Damme films, Kickboxer and Bloodsport were two of his films which featured songs by Stan Bush.

[Hero]

Surf Ninjas

[Shockprowl]

I love Bloodsport! It's one of my fave Martial Arts films of allllll time! The fight at the end is excellant!