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Post by The Doctor on Jul 30, 2011 23:38:10 GMT
*attempts to destroy world*
-Ralph
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Jul 31, 2011 8:28:02 GMT
*Sells bonds*
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Post by The Doctor on Jul 31, 2011 10:12:09 GMT
*charges laser beam of death*
-Ralph
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Jul 31, 2011 15:12:49 GMT
*defeats Ralph*
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Post by The Doctor on Jul 31, 2011 16:32:05 GMT
I will returnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
-Ralph
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Post by legios on Jul 31, 2011 19:31:18 GMT
Ja, Ja. *drinks Schnapps*
Karl
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Post by Philip Ayres on Jul 31, 2011 19:51:32 GMT
Don't, I want an archers now
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Post by The Doctor on Aug 6, 2011 9:27:59 GMT
I often enjoy bringing fear to colleagues lives by mentioning my strange spider scanning chum.
-Ralph
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Aug 6, 2011 10:20:38 GMT
At last I feel I have made a useful contribution to society.
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Post by The Doctor on Aug 6, 2011 10:24:38 GMT
It's the 'he keeps them in his bedroom' point that most freaks people out.
-Ralph
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Aug 6, 2011 10:27:53 GMT
Where else would you keep them?
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Post by The Doctor on Aug 6, 2011 10:30:54 GMT
People ask: "why doesn't he keep them in the lab?". And I reply: "He is a fool!"
-Ralph
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Aug 6, 2011 10:34:16 GMT
The vets won't let me. And the university would charge me rent!
Still working on where the incoming lot will live.
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Post by The Doctor on Aug 6, 2011 19:35:47 GMT
Under your bed.
-Ralph
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Aug 6, 2011 20:39:48 GMT
I was thinking more your flat.
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Post by Philip Ayres on Oct 3, 2014 8:16:56 GMT
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Post by The Doctor on Aug 13, 2016 23:05:36 GMT
Got home at 11:30pm. Sat on the bed. Looked up.
GIANT FUCKING SPIDER ON THE WALL IN FRONT OF ME.
With the speed of a puma I chased the damn thing along the wall with a glass until I got it and put the bastard out. Then I looked up and saw...
AN EVEN BIGGER FUCKING SPIDER. TOO BIG FOR THE GLASS. IT HAD TO BE THE MOTHER.
I swear I actually started to hear the score from 'Aliens' in my head as I chased this giant fucker around the flat until I half caught it in another glass and ran screaming with it outside. I last saw it running down the pavement at top speed.
VICTORY.
-Ralph
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Post by Shockprowl on Aug 13, 2016 23:30:16 GMT
You need a flame-thrower, a homicidal android, and a cat called 'Jonesy'.
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Post by Pinwig on Aug 13, 2016 23:41:18 GMT
That is a tale to tell around the fireside in years to come. You get spider season early up there. We don't get them coming in until September down here. This time of year they're still out in the garden drinking strongbow and shouting at cats.
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Post by blueshift on Aug 13, 2016 23:46:53 GMT
GIANT FUCKING SPIDER ON THE WALL IN FRONT OF ME. F*ks sake Ralph, just return that damn blue crystal to Metabelis 3 already!!!! |
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Post by Philip Ayres on Aug 14, 2016 7:17:41 GMT
That is a tale to tell around the fireside in years to come. You get spider season early up there. We don't get them coming in until September down here. This time of year they're still out in the garden drinking strongbow and shouting at cats. Spider Season in Ralph's house starts 1st Jan and end 31st December. |
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Aug 14, 2016 8:15:56 GMT
Spider season in full swing in Glasgow too. Many extra chums about.
Joy and I paid a visit to the local spider shop yesterday. Great fun looking at potential wedding favours.
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Post by Philip Ayres on Aug 14, 2016 12:53:16 GMT
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Post by Philip Ayres on Aug 24, 2016 17:07:18 GMT
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Aug 24, 2016 18:32:52 GMT
Hardly an alien. Spiders have more right to the planet than we do. They were here first by a few hundred million years!
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Post by Pinwig on Sept 1, 2016 21:40:50 GMT
That is a tale to tell around the fireside in years to come. You get spider season early up there. We don't get them coming in until September down here. This time of year they're still out in the garden drinking strongbow and shouting at cats. And regular as clockwork, the first of the season has just gone careening across the carpet. September's here then. |
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Post by legios on Sept 2, 2016 16:13:58 GMT
I was impressed by the fast work of one spider today - walked out of the doors of the Falkirk Wheel visitor centre an hour after I walked in, straight through a strand of web which wasn't there before! Impressive work - but not really a match something the mass of a Karl moving at cruising velocities it has to be said...
Karl
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Sept 2, 2016 16:59:39 GMT
Hold the line..!! Don't let him reach the surface.
I'm hoping the fifth of my Girls will molt soon and complete the set this summer. She is skittish and has a fat bump do all the signs are good.
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Post by The Doctor on Sept 5, 2016 16:58:41 GMT
Yesterday, I bent down to tie my laces and a spider fell out of the sky and landed on the pavement. Today, a spider jumped out of my work diary when I opened it.
Got home. Spider in the ******** bath.
-Ralph
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