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Post by blueshift on Sept 5, 2016 17:04:57 GMT
Spider song!!
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Post by Philip Ayres on Sept 5, 2016 17:24:51 GMT
Mum has an army of spiders trying to climb up the plug hole in the bath to drop onto our faces while we sleep.
We have been instructed to replace the bath plug after emptying it.
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Post by The Doctor on Sept 6, 2016 19:39:53 GMT
I was most disturbed earlier to find a giant spider web hanging above my head...above where my head rests! It was cleared away.
Then, just now, I went to plug the phone into the charger and a giant fucker leaped out at me from under the radiator!!! It was an energetic bastard.
Ralph does not like spider season.
-Ralph
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Sept 13, 2016 7:47:21 GMT
Went to get a pair of pants from the spare room this morning... there's five f***ing huge tarantulas in there!!
I screamed like a little girl!
- D. Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Sept 13, 2016 21:05:40 GMT
But you're not Deputy Ralph anymore.
-Ralph
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Sept 13, 2016 22:12:50 GMT
At the time of posting I was and therefore bound by natural law to act as if I were you.
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Post by Pinwig on Sept 13, 2016 22:19:28 GMT
Oh I see! Blimey the last 24 hours have been confusing.
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Post by Shockprowl on Sept 13, 2016 22:25:20 GMT
EXTRA confusing!
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Post by The Doctor on Sept 17, 2016 20:51:45 GMT
It was chaos.
-Ralph
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Post by Shockprowl on Sept 18, 2016 7:37:45 GMT
EXTRA chaotic!
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Post by The Doctor on Jan 7, 2017 21:54:56 GMT
Got in this evening and what was lurking just inside the doorway? Huge bloody spider!
-Ralph
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Post by Andy Turnbull on Jan 7, 2017 23:31:29 GMT
Just the one?
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Post by The Doctor on Jan 8, 2017 9:49:55 GMT
Just one. He was sent packing.
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Jan 11, 2017 22:37:37 GMT
GIANT FUCKING SPIDER IN A CORNER OF THE ROOM AT THE CEILING ABOVE A CUPBOARD IN THE BEDROOM WHERE I CAN'T GET TO IT.
No sleep for Burns tonight.
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Jan 11, 2017 22:54:58 GMT
IT'S MOVING!!!
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Jan 11, 2017 23:00:35 GMT
BANISHED THE BASTARD!!!
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 29, 2017 8:02:18 GMT
GIANT FUCKING SPIDER AT THE FRONT DOOR!
-Ralph
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Post by Pinwig on Mar 29, 2017 17:59:52 GMT
Well don't let him in! Haven't you got a sign? "No junk mail, circulars, salespeople or GIANT FUCKING SPIDERS, thank you".
Big fail there!
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 29, 2017 20:11:25 GMT
I evicted the fiend.
-Ralph
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Post by Andy Turnbull on Mar 29, 2017 21:14:36 GMT
No spiders to report, but a dead mouse out in the back garden.
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Post by Pinwig on Mar 29, 2017 21:16:04 GMT
So some pretty vicious spiders in your neck of the woods then.
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Post by Andy Turnbull on Mar 29, 2017 21:25:03 GMT
No idea what killed it, probably a cat. Although tend to not be in my garden a whole lot, what with the dog and all, and one of the adjoining houses now has a noisy dog too.
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Post by The Doctor on Apr 2, 2017 21:53:11 GMT
There is a 'dead mouse smell' somewhere in the Burns Cave but I cannot find it. They tend to appear in November and April/May like clockwork for a few days then vanish.
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Apr 8, 2017 21:05:29 GMT
@*@&@&#&@!
Just in the nick of time before my bum hit the throne did I notice THE GIANT FUCKING SPIDER HANGING ABOUT BEHIND IT!!!
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Jun 13, 2017 10:54:41 GMT
GIANTBFUCKING SPIDER TRYING TO GET INTOBTHE FREEZER!!+++
-Ralph
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Post by Shockprowl on Jun 13, 2017 17:17:21 GMT
The intense cold of the freezer may cause it to mutate into...
AN INDESTRUCTIBLE SUPER-SPIDER!!!!
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Post by The Doctor on Jun 13, 2017 19:31:52 GMT
I did not expect it to attack from that direction!!!
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Sept 2, 2017 20:35:44 GMT
THERE WAS A SPIDER IN MY BED! MY BED/ FFS!!
-Ralph
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Post by blueshift on Sept 2, 2017 20:43:27 GMT
THERE WAS A SPIDER IN MY BED! MY BED/ FFS!! -Ralph I had a bee on my pillow once  |
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Post by Pinwig on Sept 2, 2017 21:32:30 GMT
!!!
What kind of depravity is tha-
Oh, *bee*
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