Stomski
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!! But don't worry. It won't happen again.
Posts: 5,939
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Post by Stomski on Oct 3, 2019 7:08:58 GMT
SAY "Now only if I had some salt, but I'm guessing this land only provides pepper mills."
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Post by blueshift on Oct 3, 2019 16:50:30 GMT
SAY "Now only if I had some salt, but I'm guessing this land only provides pepper mills." "Ah my friend!" the storeholder says. "Our glorious leader has eaten all of the salt in the land, in big spoonfuls!"
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Post by Benn on Oct 3, 2019 16:59:26 GMT
Is it a Hitler Egg?
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Post by blueshift on Oct 3, 2019 17:06:08 GMT
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Post by Pinwig on Oct 3, 2019 20:26:54 GMT
Ok, so eggs, salt, this is definitely the Ralph zone wherever we are.
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Stomski
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!! But don't worry. It won't happen again.
Posts: 5,939
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Post by Stomski on Oct 3, 2019 20:56:24 GMT
I thought we thought the desert oasis leader was Shockprowl?
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Post by Pinwig on Oct 3, 2019 21:06:02 GMT
Oh are we still there? Yes that made sense, but eating salt by the spoonful was what Blue said about Ralph when we were at TFN. I'm lost with all this.
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Post by blueshift on Oct 3, 2019 21:13:40 GMT
For the record, is there anyone who thinks Shockprowl DOESN'T sit at home eating salt by the spoonful each evening?
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Post by Shockprowl on Oct 3, 2019 21:44:54 GMT
I have very high blood pressure and I have my hands down my pants.
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Post by Pinwig on Oct 3, 2019 21:47:45 GMT
What?! Looking back, it appears it was me who was eating salt by the spoonful Quote from pinwig: "Salty eggs Ralph, they are the future. I like to get a hard boiled egg, scoop out the yolk and replace it with a tablespoon of salt" Ralph is nodding excitedly, fondling the salt in his pocket and talking about how he will have a salty pinwig egg special for his breakfast So... No idea. Maybe it's that Shockprowl is the leader but Ralph is the stallholder? Or perhaps it's just a red herring because the whole game is littered with random hub references. It might not matter. We seem to be spending longer working out who's who than progressing the game.
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Stomski
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!! But don't worry. It won't happen again.
Posts: 5,939
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Post by Stomski on Oct 4, 2019 6:22:12 GMT
Well we're done at the desert oasis, let's review what we know about the fancy castle to the East.
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Stomski
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!! But don't worry. It won't happen again.
Posts: 5,939
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Post by Stomski on Oct 8, 2019 10:29:18 GMT
11 pages in and we've all given up?? We can't let Blue defeat us like this.
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Post by blueshift on Oct 8, 2019 10:34:23 GMT
11 pages in and we've all given up?? We can't let Blue defeat us like this. Yeah, come on lads! Would Sybok give up? I think not!!
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Stomski
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!! But don't worry. It won't happen again.
Posts: 5,939
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Post by Stomski on Oct 16, 2019 7:31:00 GMT
GO DESERT OASIS GO NORTH GO WEST STAND IN QUEUE
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Post by The Doctor on Oct 16, 2019 7:40:32 GMT
I've missed the last few pages.
ACTION: DIE.
-Ralph
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Post by blueshift on Oct 16, 2019 8:30:39 GMT
GO DESERT OASIS GO NORTH GO WEST STAND IN QUEUE After standing still dribbling for a few weeks, you spur yourself into action! You RACE across the landscape to.. CITY GATES You stand in front of mighty steel walls, which rise up a hundred feet high to protect the city within. Over the top you can see glass domes and a massive steel spire that punches into the sky. A mighty gate is guarded by two GUARDS in power armour. Outside is a steady stream of people who are entering the city gates one by one. The guards seem to be checking for something. Above the guards is a sign: "NO DEGENERATES" Unlocked Directions: <E> East - Apocalyptic plains You stand in the queue behind the wizard. The queue is moving now. It's just the wizard to go, and you're up next! Do you want to WAIT and get processed, or RUN OFF?
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Post by blueshift on Oct 16, 2019 8:31:59 GMT
I've missed the last few pages. ACTION: DIE. -Ralph You attempt to will your own death but you have no 26-year-old popcorn so cannot
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Stomski
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!! But don't worry. It won't happen again.
Posts: 5,939
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Post by Stomski on Oct 16, 2019 9:09:38 GMT
WEAR CHRISTMAS SOCK ON GENITALIA WAIT and get processed
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Stomski
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!! But don't worry. It won't happen again.
Posts: 5,939
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Post by Stomski on Oct 18, 2019 10:23:59 GMT
Can't decide if Blue's being meta with the waiting or if we're genuinely waiting for him to follow up on the command.
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Post by blueshift on Oct 18, 2019 10:37:50 GMT
WEAR CHRISTMAS SOCK ON GENITALIA WAIT and get processed I am totally being meta, y-yeah. I hadn't just missed this. Anyway You triumphantly don the sock. You check your armour stat: ARMOUR: 0.00001 You feel mighty! You wait your turn in a delightfully meta manner until you come up to the two guards, who take you in to the processing zone. PROCESSING ZONEYou stand in a stark white room, a cone of silence suspended above you to block out all outside sounds. The two armed guards place a large cardboard box on top of the table. "Well well well," the first guard says. "I see you got your arm back! Now, let us TEST YOU with the THREE TESTS to ensure you are not a degenerate! We would not want a DEGENERATE to sully the city of our fair ruler! First... hmm, let's put on some delightful music shall we?" He gets out a vinyl record player. In front of him are three records. "Which will you choose?" he asks, lifting his chainsaw menacingly. - Mozart
- Queen
- The Class Soundtrack
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Post by The Doctor on Oct 18, 2019 13:55:43 GMT
Class.
-Ralph
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Post by blueshift on Oct 18, 2019 15:13:51 GMT
You select the Class vinyl. The guards play it, nodding appreciatively. "Now for the second test!" Guard 2 says. "This will test your very soul!" He puts in front of you a sealed Transformers toy. (Titans Return Overlord) It looks fun, but also collectible. "Now!" he exclaims. "What will you do? OPEN OR NOT?"
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Post by The Doctor on Oct 18, 2019 15:56:15 GMT
Open. Smyths are flooded with them so it holds no value.
-Ralph
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Post by Pinwig on Oct 18, 2019 22:09:19 GMT
Is this the area about me? I suppose it must be if class is the preferred music.
See this next question is tricky. If you want to go with the stereotype then the answer would be to keep it sealed, but if you want to go with reality, the Overlord I bought this evening is already open. So I've no idea what the answer is supposed to be!
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Stomski
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!! But don't worry. It won't happen again.
Posts: 5,939
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Post by Stomski on Oct 19, 2019 5:47:11 GMT
Now you've revealed that, then we must open it!
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Post by Pinwig on Oct 19, 2019 12:11:10 GMT
This is why this game confuses me. I'm never quite sure how to second guess Blueshift's insanity.
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Post by blueshift on Oct 19, 2019 16:44:10 GMT
Now you've revealed that, then we must open it! You greedily tear open the package. "AHA!" says Guard One, raising his chainsaw. "YOU FOOL! YOU HAVE DEFIED THE WILL OF THE MASTER! PREPARE TO DIE!" Just as he is about to slice you in half, his phone goes off and he answers it. "What? Really?" "Oh piss off, did he?" "Well I'm not PSYCHIC am I?" "Honestly I feel this is a complete betrayal of everything he stands for!" He puts the phone down and scowls. "The Master has gone INSANE. It's time for revolution!" The guards run into the city, screaming and yelling battle cries. <Exits> <E> City Gates <W> Inside the city
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Stomski
Fusilateral Quintro Combiner
YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!! But don't worry. It won't happen again.
Posts: 5,939
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Post by Stomski on Oct 19, 2019 16:53:51 GMT
GO WEST
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Post by Pinwig on Oct 19, 2019 16:54:09 GMT
Go West.
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Post by blueshift on Oct 21, 2019 11:48:47 GMT
You enter.... RUINED CITYYou enter a city which looks like it was once opulent and majestic scant minutes ago, but is now a nightmare wasteland of death and terror. Screams fill the air. Dead bodies covered in a load of blood lie scattered all around. It's awful, man In the city square, a terrified man in ragged robes is being manhandled by the two guards from earlier towards what looks like a giant wicker Overlord. "I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" he screams. "SOMEONE HELP ME!" Available exists <E> City Gates <B1> Leader's tower <B2> Merchandise shop <B3> List Store
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