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Post by The Doctor on Mar 4, 2013 18:33:11 GMT
I'd like to point out that I have just read Andu's comments on this episode and we both made the Michael Jackson link entirely separately!
-Ralph
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Post by Andy Turnbull on Mar 4, 2013 18:39:42 GMT
The Gestalt is as one.
Andy
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Post by Bogatan on Mar 5, 2013 3:35:46 GMT
Haven't read others views yet, dont want to be influenced so sorry if I cover the same ground.
It's not much of a jungle.
It really does help screaming jam when ever Hotshot speaks.
Good grief, Captain Planet was more subtle.
Since when do animals run towards the effing fire?
And we are back to selling leader class Prime.
Prime has the power of Prayer.
Episode 7
Half way in and nothing appears to have happened.
Worst. Robots. In. Disguise. Ever!!!!
Jam
Is Jolt trying to kill those two? I really don't know.
Episode 8 Palace.
2 walk sequence with about as little animation as possible fill 12 seconds at the start. Thats followed by 25 seconds without any animation at all.
Is it me or are even the voice actors phoning in this one?
Jam doesnt know to transform when stuck. Again!
He is proving stupid beyond words right now.
Oh look we just left the desert and we clearly have a different animator doing Starscream and Megatron on the moon.
Don't listen to him carlos, never ever write anything.
Episode 9
Why is Megatron playing hide and seek?
Note to Prime. It has something to do with the children if you chose the bring them along every single time.
Note to children. Stop being selfish. Your tagging along is the only chance the Decepticons ever have of winning.
Minicons are less important than the children? Seems unfair as the children have a choice, the minicons do not.
I like that humans are literally beneath him, he wont even shift his foot a few inches in order to squash the fat one.
Episode 10
Jam complains about being a bot of action then promptly falls asleep. Well I guess sleeping is easier to animate than something actiony.
Why is it the only detail they decided to pay any attention to is lip syncing the dub? Its making them all sound like morons. Especially the poor woman playing Alexis. Some well performed but badly dubbed acting would have helped liven this show up no end.
This might be the first episode I saw. It sticks in my memory more than the others.
By that I mean it vaguely stands out.
Wow is that the first time toy kibble has been turned into a plot point?
Just drop him Alexis, no need to scream.
Oh right thats it, its the lets introduce a new Autobot likes hes a sinister Decepticon for no particular reason.
nooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
I still have four and a half episodes to go.
They really are the three leads from Harry Potter, they even have a Hedgewig substitute in Laserbeak. Alexis is such a know it all.
Jam caught up with the conversation about Smokescreens late arrival just in time before the episode ended. Yay.
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Post by Bogatan on Mar 5, 2013 5:42:02 GMT
Episode 11. Wow that was an action packed animated 15 second to kick the episode off.
Er why would you automatically assume the Dolphins are important? The leaps in logic are baffling.
Dont't try to cover for Carlos. He really is that stupid stupid, hes want to save her, he has not grasped the reality of the situation at all.
... No Carlos, her world ended before she grew up or her projection would be older. Invaders destroyed it. She died Calos, she died. It will have been bloody and brutal as was common in that age. If she was lucky she was raped to death, her flesh eaten and her skin sewn into clothing. If she was very very lucky it happened in that order.
This is actually one of the better episodes. Probably being one of the first I watched it overly raised my hopes for the show.
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Post by Bogatan on Mar 5, 2013 7:33:31 GMT
And 12.
Megatrons horns really are ridiculous.
That was when the Autobots sprang into action (after more than half the planet had been lost) and decided to put an end to their evils plans (by doing flying kicks at their heads). What a force.
So flash back episode already. Even TNG waited for the second season.
Right Minicons leaving, the earlier explanation did make a certain amount of sense despite the accompanying visuals. The new explanation which makes overall makes more sense and matches the visuals, does however have one rather large plot hole. The minicons ALL left, that means the Autobots successfully rescued ALL the Minicons that the Decepticons were using. Now the Autobots had ALL the minicons and the Decepticons had ZERO minicons. Having achieved that nobody thought one last battle heavily favouring the combined Autobot Minicon alliance could have ended the war forever?
Even the computer animation is done poorly.
I take it back using the animation budget of the first few episodes to animate random G1 types on Cybertron was totally worth as they are getting to use it again. Silly me.
Who is this Thrust (or possibly Breast) left in charge of the Autobots?
What is it with Prime and praying, just use one of the huge guns your toy comes equipped with.
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Post by Philip Ayres on Mar 5, 2013 7:48:42 GMT
Who is this Thrust (or possibly Breast) left in charge of the Autobots? Yet another dialogue ***** up. |
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 5, 2013 8:12:00 GMT
You must watch along with us, Phil!
-Ralph
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Post by Bogatan on Mar 5, 2013 9:06:37 GMT
13. I dont remember an Armada Swoop, well I do it was a good toy being a Beast Wars repaint, but its too much to hope that's what the title refers to. Smart move leave the newbies alone in an emergency. Would any one, any one, let Jam makes weapons? Did they just say Megafrog? Thats the best idea the writers had. Why didn't Beast Wars star Megafrog? WTF Megatrons horns belong in tentacle porn, just wrong.  |
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Post by Philip Ayres on Mar 5, 2013 9:26:08 GMT
13. I dont remember an Armada Swoop, well I do it was a good toy being a best wars repaint, but its too much to hope thats what the title refers to. You're thinking Armada Terrorsaur which really should have had a silver and red/blue Swoop repaint. |
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Post by Bogatan on Mar 5, 2013 9:41:59 GMT
Nah I was thinking of the Dinobots on Armada cards that say Dinobot instead of Armada but are clearly Armada because of the rest of the packaging. Swoop was in a two pack with someone.
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Post by Philip Ayres on Mar 5, 2013 11:13:57 GMT
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 5, 2013 17:52:26 GMT
EPISODE 15: SIDEWAYS IN SHIT.
So this is the one with a mysterious purple intruder in the human city! Sadly not an interesting new marital aid but a crap evil purple bike which doesn't do anything interesting. Hot Shot farts about with his giant sword while being assaulted by flashbacks to the last episode. The kids sit about and say stupid things. Megatron and his chums piss about looking for stuff. A bit like the Famous Five but without an endearing dog or indeed ANY KIND OF FUCKING PERSONALITIES.
This is so fucking boring. There was this one time when I walked into a lampost and that held more excitement in my life. Why the fuck am I watching this shit series?
Prime has fallen on his head between episodes and sends the kids straight into danger. While this would usually be questionable behaviour, by this point the kids are so fucking boring I WANT THEM TO DIE.
BEVERAGE OF THE EPISODE: SAINBURGERIES TASTE THE DIFFERENCE LEMONADE. I feel this could lead me to some easy metaphor for this series but that would be too easy. This time.
-Ralph
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Post by Andy Turnbull on Mar 5, 2013 18:25:33 GMT
Transformers: Armada Episode 15 - Gale
Optimus says at one point he doesn't like what he sees. I couldn't agree more.
More fuckwittery from the Autobots, tedious nonsense involving a mystery purple bicycle Transformer. Alexis is a tedious character still.
Oh for fucks sake, Sideways is evil. HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE? Oh wait that's because you are all as thick as pig shit in the neck of a bottle and this show is the worst.
Seriously, stop bullying Fred. It's getting old. Old like this show. Oh what's that there are 52 episodes of this? I'd forgotten for one brief, beautiful moment.
Andy
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Post by legios on Mar 5, 2013 20:58:13 GMT
I can sense a despair falling across the land with each new episode......
I don't think I actually saw the episode where Sideways debuted back in the day - I'd seen the first four or five episodes and then I saw a handful here or there before parting company completely with the show. (It still isn't the mecha show that I've seen least episodes of amongst those I have started watching, but it doesn't really say much of Armada that I saw several more episodes of it than I did of "Gundam Wing". Actually, I think if you count both the Superlink and Energon episodes I watched together and discount duplicates I think I've even seen more of that than Armada).
Karl
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Post by Andy Turnbull on Mar 6, 2013 18:00:42 GMT
Episode 16 - Credulous
Sideways and Hot Shot end up trapped in the Decepticon base. Though armed with the Star Saber they apparently let the Autobots run around. Hot Shot learns the Decepticon base is on the moon. He still thinks he's invincible with the Star Saber.
Meanwhile, it turns out that the fucktard Autobots have never thought to try and triangulate the co-ordinates of the Decepticon base.
Easily duped by holograms, Sideways is playing the good guy act, although all his dialogue can be interpreted as saying I AM EVIL. EEEEVIL!!
Forced to give up the Star Saber to Megatron to spare Sideways life, Hot Shot displays actual intelligence and dupes Megatron, only for Sideways to turn on him and reveal by changing his head that he is a Decepticon and allowing Starscream to get the sword and do a kick-ass He-Man impression.
Scavenger turns up and ensures they don't kill Hot Shot.
Hot Shot arrives back at Autobot HQ battered and damaged. Optimus proclaims he needs TECH SUPPORT. That's some weak writing.
Megatron, being a tactical genius lets Starscream keep the weapon. That's going to end well.
Andy
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 6, 2013 18:24:14 GMT
EPISODE 16: INCREDULOUS.
So this episode starts with Hot Shot tooling around with the Star Saber again like the Poundland version of Zorro. Yes, yes we know it's the new toy but having Twatface-Bot farting about with it in the manner of a confused fishmonger confronting a cow does not make us want to buy it. Talking of buying things, today I had a cheese burger puff from 'The Piemaker'. This is a fabulous creation. It's a cheese burger. In the middle of a disc of puff pastry. Amazing.
So what's going on now? Oh the Autobots are experiencing dull surprise in the desert. Oh for fuck's sake. I tried to give up swearing recently but this series is not helping me overly much.
Sideways is acting all evil and shit while the yellow low-IQ Autobot watches on. Come on, Hot Shot. He's evil. He's fucking evil. Can you see how evil he is? See that big fucking sign above his head that says : 'I AM EVIL'. No? You can't see it? Arsehole!
Now the Autobots are laughing to themselves. Hmmm. I remember laughter. That was something that used to happen in my life before I started watching this show again. I weep for my lost innocence.
So then Sideways and Hot Shot go the moon and nothing in any way surprising happens. I wish Commander Koening would come out of the Moonbase and fuck them up. Ah, Space: 1999. That was a great show. Well the first year was. Not the second year. That was as bad as this.
Megatron describes Hot Shot as a mediocre soldier if he does not have the Star Saber. This is the only intelligent thing he has said in this series so far. Perhaps there is hope for him yet.
BEVERAGE OF THE EPISODE: COKE ZERO. I did not choose the sugar. I choose...poorly.
-Ralph
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Post by Andy Turnbull on Mar 7, 2013 15:44:58 GMT
I've had some fortifying cereal, I have a cup of tea within easy reach. Ready to watch TRANSFORMERS ARMADA: EPISODE 17 - Conspiracy.
A cock, Rad narration at the start. Wankbaggery.
We've moved on some time and it seems the Decepticons have been handing the Autobots their asses due to the acquisition of the Star Saber. They've collected all the Minicons so far. Megatron is displeased, but rather than take Starscream on, he is playing a waiting game. Demolishor is the only one who wants to smack Starscream about. He's not very bright.
Hot Shot is depressed at losing the Star Saber, and the kids make faces to try and cheer him up. OH FUCK ME THAT WAS PAINFUL.
They detect a Minicon, but seem to be having difficulty with finding it due to fog. ALIEN BLOODY ROBOTS. SENSORS AND SHIT. WHAT IS THIS ARSEBAG WRITING?! Same holds true for the Decepticons.
Turns out there is a surreptitious plan from Megatron to relieve Starscream of the Star Saber. Leader One is involved, so it has to succeed. IT HAS TO!
More will they/wont they between Hot Shot and Scavenger.
Megatron gets his way and gets the Star Saber. Leader One is the man!
Scavenger leaves the Decepticons and arrives at the Autobot base, and joins the Autobots. He has been working undercover the entire time.
Some shit narration from Rad at the end.
Cup of tea was gubbed.
I want Leader One and Laserbeak in a spin-off show, where they basically are The Equalizer.
Andy
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 7, 2013 18:36:04 GMT
EPISODE 17: RUBBING YOUR FACE IN IT.
So this is the one where they hunt for each other in the fog, like a land-bound version of 'Run Silent, Run Deep' but populated by morons.
Actually, the only thing worth talking about in this episode is a sequence where the kids hide behind some rocks and make rude faces and pig noises. They are trying to cheer up Hot Shot but the way the lengthy scene is staged they are looking out at the viewer, openly mocking them. METAPHOR FOR THE SHOW.
BEVERAGE OF THE EPISODE: DIET DRY GINGER ALE BY SAINSBURY'S. Diet? What was I thinking?
-Ralph
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Post by Andy Turnbull on Mar 8, 2013 16:13:35 GMT
TRANSFORMERS ARMADA ISSUE 18 - TRUST
So, in a rare display of intelligence the kids don't trust Scavenger. Optimus trusts him implicitly, for reasons that are yet to become clear. Will they be explained, will we care.
Starscream thinks Scavenger will betray the information to the Autobots, he gets laughed at. No Star Saber and the bullying commences again.
Tedious battle, is Scavenger going to betray the Autobots? Oooh tension. Or not.
Megatron takes a nose dive off a cliff with the Star Saber in tow. Nobody thinks of going after it, or pressing the advantage and attacking the Decepticons.
Sideways gets Megatron back and Prime prevents him killing Scavenger, Megatron is injured and the Decepticons retreat. But at no point do the Autobots go after them - AGAIN!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE MORONS?! Put Laserbeak in charge. Laserbeak Prime - the campaign starts now.
Andy
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Post by Bogatan on Mar 9, 2013 7:25:37 GMT
Episode 14 I'm back for more. What sort of opening is that meant to be? Why did starscream just crash into a mountain so that he has to climb to the minicon? Though props to the animator here, not only does it look quite nice theres a little animation too. I like Demolisher much more than most of the Autobots or humans. Only Smokescreen comes across as normal and Liftor has an eye patch. I might be biased, Smokescreen was my first Armada toy and one of the few I still like. Surely the line should have been Mommy I just saw a robot in disguise. You can join the Autobots in battle with the Decepticons, but not at night time kids. Episode 15. I prefer Rads intro the weird adult voice over is wrong. These kids are idiots. This episode doesnt seem as bad as most. Maybe it's because Scavenger is an actual threat, which is ironic (probably). Also Sidesways is cool. Got a crazy head that guy. Bathroom jokes. ahahaha  Episode 16 For fucks sake I cant believe it tracked feet to avoid animating a run. So fucking cheap. Jam cant even remember the plan that got him to the base. What sort of idiot is Prime to give their most powerful weapon to him? Is the dub getting worse or is it that the basic plots are getting more interesting/complex which is showing up the trash talk. Episode 17 Leader 1 is cool. Starscream appears to be underbase sized right now. This makes no sense, why give them a minicon before leaving. ARRRRGRGRGRGRGRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! |
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Post by Bogatan on Mar 9, 2013 7:57:20 GMT
Episode 18 - Watched.
It finished 10 minute sago and I'm literally having to read Andys review to remember what happened. Having read it I have already forgotten.
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 9, 2013 10:00:53 GMT
No time yesterday or today for Armada so I will have to watch episodes 18-20 in a row tomorrow. Watching more than one episode at a time again may destroy me.
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 10, 2013 18:11:41 GMT
EPISODE 18: AWAKE TO SLEEP IN 60 SECONDS.
So this is the one where Scavenger spends the episode yawning. Says it all really.
Optimus Prime and Megatron teabag the viewers with lots of 'the battle ends here forever' type talk but no it's all pish.
I had some sausage while watching this. It was good.
BEVERAGE OF THE EPISODE: DIET BITTER LEMONADE BY SAINBURYS. I should have had hot chocolate. That would have warmed my heart.
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 10, 2013 18:30:07 GMT
EPISODE 19: HUMANS GO HOME.
So this one starts with an annoying reporter character. Then we cut to Alexis who moans about wanting to go on a holiday. But in a rare bit of japery she finds out her mates had decided to go fuck off on their own secret holiday anyway and hadn't told her. At last, intelligence in the Autobot camp! I cheered!
Then we cut to the Decepticon camp. "This is such a waste of my time!" mutters Sideways, mirroring the feelings of those watching at home as Megatron fucks about with the Star Saber like a twat.
Then we cut back to the humans (sans Alexis) and the Autobots on holiday. Thrill to them fishing and cracking bad puns as the annoying reporter character arrives. OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE I DON'T CARE DIE DIE DIE.
Then it rains. A little kid gets into danger. But the Autobots end themselves because if they try to rescue the kid by transforming then the reporter's camera will show it to the world and and and...
OH I JUST DON'T FUCKING CARE.
BEVERAGE OF THE EPISODE: None! Instead I sought solace in the 'Transformers: Prime' Easter Egg. It was excellent. It gave me faith in the Transformers again.
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 10, 2013 18:52:17 GMT
EPISODE 20: GET IN MY BELLY.
So Blurr turns up and the fat kid complains there isn't enough food to eat and that he can't run fast. Blurr tells the kids to stop being arseholes and to act their age. I like Blurr. I hope he teams up with Leader-1 and goes to Vegas looking for hookers.
Nothing else interesting happens at all.
BEVERAGE OF THE EPISODE: None! I just could not be motivated to go the fridge. It was too far away, pinned to the couch as I was by my sheer indifference brought on by this PILE OF SHITE!
-Ralph
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Post by legios on Mar 11, 2013 13:10:01 GMT
The pain and suffering that Armada brings seems to increase with each episode.
Karl
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 12, 2013 8:15:28 GMT
I remember the show getting better when it shifted to being in space. I recalled this happening about halfway through. Nick upset me by telling me that doesn't happen until episode 37 so I killed him.
-Ralph
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The Huff
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Hufferlover
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Post by The Huff on Mar 12, 2013 8:50:25 GMT
Sunday night, I decided to watch an episode too, just to be part of the gang! I chose episode 23 'Rebellion' as it was one of the few earlier episodes I remember enjoying.
I've always remembered the dubbing/script being bad but never remembered it being this bad! The characters either spout sentences that don't make sense either to themselves oras a response to whoever they are taliking to. Or more often than not, just let out a prelonged grunt. Still not sure which of the two is the more intellegent.
It really is like they had a big bag of random words and shook it and then made a script out of the results.
Stll, it is a nice Decepticon focussed story (one of few) and Demolisher still shines as one of the best characters in the series/ Also good to see Sideways manipulate everyone (for no apparent reason at the moment). And it does get better once they go into space.
Also I'd forgotten how often the phrase 'soldier' is used in this series. Don't like that either.
Cheap Baileys was consumed whilst watching this.
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Post by The Doctor on Mar 12, 2013 18:07:28 GMT
EPISODE 21: INDECISIVE BATTLE.
So this is the one which starts with Megatron whacking himself off because he has a new shield. Apparently, having a big shield will help anyone win a war. No, no it won't. *throws history books at the screen*
The Autobots tool about with pish team games back at their shit base. Blurr shows complete contempt for them all, thus making him the audience identification character. I hope he teams up with Leader-1 and escapes to a better show. Heck, any show. Even Coronation St.
Megatron phones up Optimus on the space TV and claims he will cream him. Prime talks some emo bollocks with all the emotion of a man who has gone to the fridge to find no milk for his tea at 1am. Everyone then fucks off to the desert to stand a few inches apart while completely failing to hit each other with their rubbish space guns.
Sparkplug the minicon reveals that he could speak the whole time, just like the Indian chap in 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest'. I gained a newfound respect for him. I think I would pretend to be dumb if I had to hang around with Thickimus Prime all day every day.
Fans of the special Armada orgasmic grunt will especially love this episode as it effectively makes up 50% of the dialogue.
BEVERAGE OF THE EPISODE: COSTA RICAN PINEAPPLE JUICE PURE PRESSED BY SAINSBURGERIES. I doubt this has ever been anywhere near Costa Tica but it's been a damn near closer to adventure than this SHITE!
-Ralph
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Post by Philip Ayres on Mar 12, 2013 18:18:40 GMT
The Autobots tool about with pish team games back at their shit base. Blurr shows complete contempt for them all, thus making him the audience identification character. You've just made me spit my drink out. I've got warm blackcurrent coming out my nose |
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