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Post by Fortmax2020 on Dec 13, 2020 12:40:41 GMT
I also suggest you don't go back to the park or grotto today in your clearly post-drinking state. You already have a rep in the area...  |
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Post by The Doctor on Dec 13, 2020 14:04:54 GMT
Have a bit of a sore stomach myself, a Zinger Stacker meal and a zinger tower burger was a bit of an overindulgence and the IBS doesn't like it. Turn and Burn both laid low! -Ralph |
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Post by The Doctor on Dec 13, 2020 14:05:29 GMT
2pm. Out of bed. A great achievement. Thinking about a fry-up.
-Ralph
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Post by Grand Moff Muffin on Dec 13, 2020 14:08:53 GMT
Do more than think about it! It is within your power to make it so! (Unlike Matt's power of the sausage roll.) Martin |
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Post by The Doctor on Dec 13, 2020 14:42:44 GMT
The fry-up cure is now being administered.
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Dec 23, 2020 11:51:34 GMT
WHAT HAVE I EATEN??!!!
Battery at 67%.
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Dec 23, 2020 11:53:03 GMT
Surely it couldn't have been the out of date Christmas slices? That was all I had for dinner last night!
-Ralph
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Post by The Doctor on Dec 23, 2020 12:01:42 GMT
And with typical comic timing, the Postie is knocking on the door, probably with the last parcel we are expecting, while I am trapped in here.
FUCKING CHRISTMAS SLICES!!!
65%.
-Ralph
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Post by Pinwig on Dec 23, 2020 12:06:37 GMT
Surely it couldn't have been the out of date Christmas slices? That was all I had for dinner last night! -Ralph There may be clues in these two sentences. |
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Dec 23, 2020 14:35:02 GMT
Yes...
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Post by Fortmax2020 on Dec 24, 2020 8:19:56 GMT
Nothing should retain *that* vibrant blue colour for long. Not even in the space future.
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Post by Philip Ayres on Dec 26, 2020 8:03:08 GMT
And how is young Pinwig's head this morning?
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Post by Pinwig on Dec 26, 2020 11:27:52 GMT
Fine, fine. Just about. And my wallet is thankfully undamaged by Ralph's evil intent.
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Post by Grand Moff Muffin on Dec 26, 2020 12:35:21 GMT
PINWIG'S ALIVE!
Martin
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Post by The Doctor on Jan 3, 2021 12:00:36 GMT
Entering hour 2 of being stuck upon The Throne with constipation. At some point the laxatives must kick in. Stuck in a 'half-in, half-out' situation so I can't go anywhere. Feet up on the loo roll holder as a makeshift stool.
-Ralph
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Post by Philip Ayres on Jan 3, 2021 12:34:23 GMT
You don't want to be passing Loo Roll Holders!
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Post by The Doctor on Jan 3, 2021 14:42:39 GMT
Once past hour 2 I had to take matters into my own hands. After that, the blockage quickly cleared and I briefly blocked the loo. Never looking at a floss pick in the same way ever again.
-Ralph
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Post by Andy Turnbull on Jan 3, 2021 23:33:53 GMT
And now, neither will we.
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Post by Pinwig on Jan 4, 2021 21:23:34 GMT
Oh my GOD.
I have been using floss picks for less than a week since my dentist told me to when I went last week. Less than a week! Of my entire life! This is clever, I thought. Much easier than actual floss.
AND NOW THIS.
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Post by The Doctor on Jan 4, 2021 21:31:02 GMT
I was in a desperate situation. I had to improvise. I looked online and read that a manual scissoring motion could help clear the blockage. I had limited tools at my disposal.
-Ralph
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Post by Pinwig on Jan 4, 2021 22:36:42 GMT
But why did we need to know?!!!
WHY!!!
Poo flossing is not in the public interest!
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Post by The Doctor on Jan 4, 2021 23:31:38 GMT
There were two solid golfball-like objects that laxatives would not budge. It was the only way.
-Ralph
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Post by Shockprowl on Jan 9, 2021 0:11:43 GMT
oh dear god...
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Post by The Doctor on Jan 11, 2021 20:54:43 GMT
I recommend Icy Cool Mint Oral B Floss Picks in such a situation.
"Feel the clean with advanced cooling technology. Deep cleans tight teeth. Slides Easily. Shred Resistant".
-Ralph
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Post by Bogatan on Jan 11, 2021 21:17:07 GMT
I have found a mini Christmas cake. It is 345 days out of date.
I am going in.
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Post by Pinwig on Jan 11, 2021 21:32:20 GMT
The thing about Christmas cake, how would you know if it was off?
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Post by Bogatan on Jan 11, 2021 21:40:36 GMT
Mould. Vomiting. Possible drunkeness?
I don't know. We may find out.
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Post by Benn on Jan 11, 2021 22:05:13 GMT
A Voyage into Danger!
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Post by Bogatan on Jan 11, 2021 22:42:47 GMT
So far so good. Im on to the marzipan and icing.
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Post by Philip Ayres on Jan 12, 2021 7:19:34 GMT
Does he still function?
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