2022 Films League Table

[Andy Turnbull]

1. James Bond: No Time To Die.

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}Really enjoyed it, and agree with all the comments from people about Ana De Armas as Paloma - absolutely brilliant.

Good ending to the Daniel Craig era of Bond.

[Grand Moff Muffin]

1. The 355

Good to see a female ensemble spy movie, but it was pretty dull and uninspired in plot and execution. Charlie's Angels 2019 was much more entertaining.

Bought two different lenticular Spider-Man: No Way Home reuseable cinema souvenir drink cups.

Martin

[The Doctor]

WHAT!!!!

I wait years for lenticular cups to return to cinemas and miss them! Bloomin' Covid.

-Ralph

[Andy Turnbull]

1. James Bond: No Time To Die
2. Eternals - decent enough, could see most of the major beats coming a mile off - suspect without knowledge of the source material Sprite might not have been as obvious. Interesting they left Zuras off the table...

[Grand Moff Muffin]

1. Nightmare Alley
2. The 355

Guillermo del Toro’s films are never easy going, and this is a long one. It’s OK but far from his best work.

Martin

[Grand Moff Muffin]

1. Scream (“I’m introducing a new rule.”)
2. Nightmare Alley
3. The 355

At last, a ‘requel’ done well. If only the people who wrote this had been asked to write the awful ‘Ghostbusters: Afterlife’, or the so-so ‘The Matrix Resurrections’.

It began well, with Ghostface threatening to kill us, the audience, if we spread spoilers. So I won’t.

Martin

[Grand Moff Muffin]

1. Scream
2. Moonfall ("How many Brians do you think are inside the Moon?")
3. Nightmare Alley
4. The 355

John Bradley aka Samwell Tarly leaves Westeros for the 21st Century, to star in what I thought would be something halfway between 'Armageddon' and 'Independence Day', but ended up better than either, thanks to a decision to do a handbrake-turn on the formulaic plot in the final act, and take it all in a very welcome but unexpected direction.

I did not think I'd be exiting the cinema at the end of this film thinking, "I want to know what happens next. Please make a sequel."

But that's how it left me.

Oh, and

SPOILER: Click to show

Fuzz Aldrin

is the best name for a cat of all time.

Martin

[Grand Moff Muffin]

Martin

[Bogatan]

1. Spider-Man: No Way Home - a second viewing, still very enjoyable.

[Bogatan]

1. Spider-Man no Way Home
2. Moonfall. What Martin said.

Really enjoyable film. Takes all the best bits from Emmerichs past films adds a dab of Armmageddon and then does its own thing with the ending that really does make it superior to them all.

[Grand Moff Muffin]

Got next week off work due to accumulating too much annual leave through the pandemic. Planning to see three films: Cyrano, Death on the Nile, Uncharted. Hopefully something good in that pile.

Martin

[Grand Moff Muffin]

1. Uncharted (see it on the biggest screen you possibly can)
2. Scream
3. Moonfall
4. Nightmare Alley
5. The 355

Uncharted is apparently based on a video game I haven't heard of, but if so something's amiss, as video games aren't supposed to be better than mediocre, yet this one was cracking good fun.

There are actors out there (not in this film) like James McAvoy and Anya Taylor-Joy who can do a different character performance in every movie. (Or multiple performances in the same movie.) Then there are actors like Mark Wahlberg and Tom Holland. You know what you're getting.

So, this is a double-crossing treasure-seeking heist movie starring Peter Parker from the MCU (stripped of all his powers except, it seems, his spider-agility) and Cade Yeager from Transformers. But the wise-cracking dialogue is very sharp, and they play very well against one another. I can't remember when I last enjoyed a film in this genre as much. So, so much better than last year's awful Jungle Cruise.

And the final half-hour is breathtaking, watched on SuperScreen. I think I had my mouth open for twenty minutes straight. If you think there's nothing new to see in cinema, you're wrong. They've found something. Do not wait to see this on the small screen.

Edit: Apparently the critics hate it.



Martin

[The Doctor]

I'd love to see it...but plague.

-Ralph

[Pinwig]

I love the games, finished them all. They're pretty cinematic in their own right so I'm quite keen to see this. Tom Holland isn't Nathan Drake to me though, that'll be hard to swallow.

[Grand Moff Muffin]

1. Uncharted
2. Scream
3. Moonfall
4. Death on the Nile
5. Nightmare Alley
6. The 355

Death on the Nile plus points:

- One of the greatest whodunnit stories ever written.
- I'd seen other versions, but had forgotten who done it.
- Good supporting cast.
- Well directed by Branagh.
- Stunning scenery.

Minus points:

- As established in Orient Express, Kenneth Branagh is not a convincing Poirot.

Shame.

Martin

[Grand Moff Muffin]

1. Uncharted
2. Scream
3. Moonfall
4. Death on the Nile
5. Nightmare Alley
6. The Batman
7. The 355

I am not the target demographic for the Emo Batman Movie.

The best thing I can say for it was I needed to switch off the real world for 3 hours and it allowed me to do that. But it lacked humour and spectacle, and was oh so dark. It is apparently always night in Emo Gotham, and they evidently have a shortage of lightbulbs.

If anyone's going to see a film on the big screen, see something spectacular like Uncharted, Moonfall or Death on the Nile. The Batman looks fairly low budget and can wait for the small screen.

I didn't bother with the souvenir cup. It wasn't lithographic.

The cup

Oh yeah, there was also a pile of free posters. Gave them a miss too.

Martin

[The Doctor]

The cup has the aspect of Funko Shite to it

-Ralph

[Grand Moff Muffin]

Indeed. Though the wobbly-head figure is removable.

Martin

[Benn]

The wobblehead doesn't exactly scream 'dark n gritty Batman' at me.

[Grand Moff Muffin]

Booked Friday afternoon off to see Morbius.

Martin

[Grand Moff Muffin]

1. Uncharted
2. Scream
3. Morbius (first good superhero film of 2022)
4. Moonfall
5. Death on the Nile
6. Nightmare Alley
7. The Batman
8. The 355

I enjoyed Morbius, or as I prefer to think of it,

SPOILER: Click to show

Marvel Multiverse of Madness Crossover Episode 3 (after Venom 2 and Spidey: NWH). What were they thinking when they put Michael Keaton in the trailer???

Although it's basically just a remake of The Incredible Hulk

SPOILER: Click to show

(he even says, "I'm getting hungry - you wouldn't like me when I'm hungry")

with a few scenes obviously taken from Batman Begins. But it's well done.

SPOILER: Click to show

One of the FBI characters mentions a recent incident in San Francisco. Venom 2 was set in San Francisco, so I took that as in indication that Morbius is set in the Venom universe.

Martin

[Grand Moff Muffin]

Coming soon.





Martin

[Grand Moff Muffin]

1. Uncharted
2. Scream
3. Morbius
4. Moonfall
5. Death on the Nile
6. Ambulance (Michael Bay’s biopic of Shockprowl)
7. Nightmare Alley
8. The Batman
9. The 355

Michael Bay has moved Shockprowl to Los Angeles and recast him as a young woman to avoid litigation. Other than that, it’s basically a day in his life.



Martin

[Shockprowl]

Yeah, he did good in the end. Gosh, the hours we spent on his yacht, Michael dissecting every detail.

[Grand Moff Muffin]

1. Uncharted
2. Scream
3. Operation Volc- erm, Mincemeat
4. Morbius
5. Moonfall
6. Death on the Nile
7. Ambulance
8. Nightmare Alley
9. The Batman
10. The 355

Martin

[Bogatan]

1. Spider-Man no Way Home
2. Moonfall.

3. Death on the Nile - caught it on Disney+ not as good as the last film but enjoyable enough.

4. The Batman - Pretty good. Too long, but fairly entertaining throughout. Casting is good. Looks nice.

5. Morbius - Well that wasnt as bad as I expected, but when its not even so bad its good, it basically is just dull. Leto is dull. Smith is the one OTT element in the film and it does not work. I think I can make a pretty good stab at which bits got reshot at some point. And then the film just sort of ends aside from the credit tease that doesnt even have the confidence to be put in the credits. Its like they didnt want to risk that no one would stay to see it so its right there tacked on to the end of the film. And its desperate.

But yeah not terrible, but not good either.

6. The Lost City - Very good if you like the old school romantic action comedy type film. As Im also a fan of Tatum and Bullock this was right up my street. Supporting cast is surprising but also good. And they gave the henchmen personalities, which I always like.

[Grand Moff Muffin]

1. Uncharted
2. Scream
3. Operation Mincemeat
4. The Lost City (surprisingly good)
5. Morbius
6. Moonfall
7. Death on the Nile
8. Ambulance
9. Nightmare Alley
10. The Batman
11. The 355

Having been put off by the trailer, I had been planning to give The Lost City a miss, but I had a couple of hours to kill in town between work and the National Theatre Live screening of Henry V (with Kit Harrington), so I did a Cineworld double bill, and was glad I did, as it was very funny. The Lost City, that is, not Henry V.

Martin

[Grand Moff Muffin]

1. Uncharted
2. Scream
3. Operation Mincemeat
4. The Lost City
5. Morbius
6. Moonfall
7. Death on the Nile
8. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent
9. Ambulance
10. Nightmare Alley
11. The Batman
12. The 355

Er. Um. Yes. OK.

Unlike with 'The Matrix', 'Inception' and 'Tenet', a half-hour walk home from the cinema has proven insufficient for me to figure out the internal logic of this film, leading me to the conclusion that it doesn't have one, and that the writers of the actual film were as off their heads when writing it as the characters in the film trying to write _their_ film.

But it has its moments.

Generally when the characters are off their heads on a variety of substances.

Martin

[Benn]

Oh hey

1. Operation Mincemeat

Saw the story done in a stage musical last summer which was fun, so was curious to see what a straighter retelling would be like. I liked it. Unexpected bisexual for Britain moment too!

[Grand Moff Muffin]

Six days to go until 'Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness'. A superb film title if you take a step back from it.

The question is whether there will be lenticular cups in Cineworld.

Martin